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The inability of positivity
My 1st experience of sleep paralysis and AP was the night after I read a lot about greek mythology. Not sure if I read about "Mare" before or after AP. Doesn't matter. It was a horrible experience but I'm grateful, else I wouldn't believe in it. I felt like someone dragged me down my bed and I felt like I hit the wardrobe while being dragged, that moment I slipped back into my body and refused to open my eyes. Next thing I know I woke up. Since then I've had a little amount of APs but none where I felt sleep paralysis again.
I would love to travel a little or check the Akashic Library but I can't seem to be able to force AP or.. maybe I can but do something to avoid it, because I do start feeling slight sensations but become scared.
My problem is that I can't simply change my mindstate to think of happy stuff, APs never happened during day and I associate the night with scary things, demons and so on. Even more so because every AP i feel is like someone is dragging me. So in that state of panic, how could I ever think rationally?
Will I never be able to do a proper AP without fear?
What am I to do?
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