confusion over divine intervention

Had a thought today about an experience I had many years ago. I now think I may have totally misinterpreted it.

It was 1986 on Christmas Eve and I was 16 years old. My mother had taken up with a drug dealer and life was not great for my siblings nor myself. My mother took all of the money for presents and went to a party where she spent it all getting high. I know how kids are when you come back from Christmas break; everyone talking about what they got and such. I didn't want my siblings to feel they had done something bad and Santa didn't come to our house or have to be embarrassed when all their friends are showing off their stuff and they have nothing. So I called their father and told him that my mother was in the mental hospital again and asked if he could pick them up so they would have Christmas. My mother was dropped off on the porch a few hours later and then her boyfriend came back.

He brought with him a single long stem rose. I asked him if that was a Christmas present for my brother and sister since my mother had wasted all of the money at a party. We fought verbally and then he pulled out a gun. He held it in my face telling me to shut up. I remember thinking it was like a movie and I grabbed it, telling him, almost begging him to do it. He told me I was as crazy as my mother and went into the bedroom to be with her.

I went over and sat in front of the TV looking for something to distract me. Revenge of the Nerds was on and I had seen it so many times I felt like I knew every word. In the movie there is a scene that takes place in the gym. The camera pans around and written on the wall are the words, Only the Strong Shall Survive. I said the words out loud but to myself. As the last word left my mouth there were these bright amber colored lights that suddenly enveloped me, it was almost like a swirling of light and it was very warm inside them. I could not see the movie anymore it was as though the light came directly out of the TV itself. For lack of a better description I was then shown things. I was shown things, events, situations that had happened to me in the past. And how during these times I had felt like this was it. This was too much for me to bear. But then I saw how I overcame each of those and how that wasn't "it". I had a great sense of comfort I felt completely at ease. This feeling of purpose then came over me. Like this, what was happening to me now, this was not going to be what breaks me either. And as soon as I thought that everything stopped and the movie was right in the same place it was before.

I have experienced the sensation one other time although I was not shown anything. Someone tried to drown me and after I stopped struggling and started to take in the water it became immediately peaceful.

For many years I thought this was an act of divine intervention. I thought I was being shown all the times I should have just given up and didn't as a way to see me through the latest. However, this morning I thought what if I was wrong? What if what I was being shown were all the times I should have given up, because that's exactly what I was supposed to do. What if they were really just missed opportunities?

[SpiritCarrier]

You were not wrong. You were shown something to strengthen you to make the time you are experiencing seem insignificant in comparason to what you have and would live through. You have been the strong one, the one others have looked to for strength and now you need to look to someone, something, to understand why. Allow yourself to crumble and be rebuilt, if that is what it takes. You don't have to be the wall anymore. You need someone to be there for you, you have someone in your life that wants to be that for you but you haven't let them in completely. Once you do, all of the doubt will fade away. The Powers have brought this person into your life for a reason.

You have made a difference in so many lives, you do not even know. Death will not take you, you will be given over when your time is done. That time is a long way off so try to find what you are suppose to do with the remainder of your life because you have more differences to make.

It is lovely to have you here. Enjoy.

Peace and Light,
SC

Thank you spiritcarrier. I just reread it again and it sounded a bit dreary. I wasn't trying to be negative I was just curious as to whether messages or experiences can have a double meaning to them. There are no evil messages, right? I have never met anyone with a similar experience and I look online and most of the ones I read involve a deceased relative or something. I have always viewed the experience as positive and the rare instances when I did share it I stated it was an experience with a higher power...or something. But no one was like, oh that's your spirit guide. I know that certain entities may appear innocuous but are anything but. I'll keep looking around here and see what else I can find out. Thank you again for your kind words.