I'm a shallow person

[girlsearching]

Date: 8-11-2012
Week: Sunday
Month: August


A quick update so yesterday I started Talking to Derrick. He goes to the same College as I go to. He approached me first and we exchanged numbers yesterday. He seemed excited to be talking to me. I like talking to derrick he is smart and nice his interest are playing pool and he likes underground music. He is Autistic a little though that’s okay. I thought I could do it and make this work but it turns out that I'm not invested with my feelings towards him. I'm not saying that a possible relationship could have never happened between me and him because it could of. To Sum this all up in fewer words I told him today at breakfast time in the cafeteria that me and him should just be friends. Of course I pulled him aside to discuss it in private. Derrick didn't seem to mind it though of I started to cry because I feel like a (edit) for turning him down and I just wanted to be honest and not to lead him on. I’m still going to meet his mother though like we planned for Friday still. I’m a horrible person for shunning him I feel bad. But I know that he will find someone for him who deserves him he really is great guy. Why does this have to be so difficult?
This whole cycle: of I like Joe but Joe has feelings for Sarah but Sarah secretly likes mark. That type of scenario is constant in my life.

I don’t think I’ll ever find what I’m looking for I need to quit wishing my Ideal person because chances are the Ideal mate we desire are no good for us from the gecko. I’m not good when it comes the game of love it’s hard to comprehend.

No you are not shallow.
Listen to your inner voice and it is telling you to keep him as a friend.

You have to make sure that your needs are met in a relationship.
Otherwise, you are not going to be in a balanced equal partnership.
You do not want to be someone's caretaker.

If you suspect that he is Autistic, you probably should keep him as a friend.
No-amount of therapy or your own sacrificing of your needs would make a such union to work. You will be miserable in a long run.

In fact, you will become physically and psychologically ill from the stress of maintaining and managing the grown man with Autism who can never connect with you emotionally.

Trust me. I had lived through it.

[girlsearching]

Originally Posted by Nada

No you are not shallow.
Listen to your inner voice and it is telling you to keep him as a friend.

You have to make sure that your needs are met in a relationship.
Otherwise, you are not going to be in a balanced equal partnership.
You do not want to be someone's caretaker.

If you suspect that he is Autistic, you probably should keep him as a friend.
No-amount of therapy or your own sacrificing of your needs would make a such union to work. You will be miserable in a long run.

In fact, you will become physically and psychologically ill from the stress of maintaining and managing the grown man with Autism who can never connect with you emotionally.

Trust me. I had lived through it.

Thank you Nada but I do feel bad because it's for the simple fact is that he is not my type should not give me reason to say no. He is a nice guy and I do want to keep him as a friend because I enjoy his conversation.

[Ascension]

You did the right thing to tell him right away
it's better that way for you and for him even if
you feel bad about the reason why you pushing him .

Originally Posted by girlsearching

for the simple fact is that he is not my type should not give me reason to say no.

Well actually, that simple fact is a good enough reason to say no.
Do not force yourself. You will regret it.

He is a nice guy and I do want to keep him as a friend because I enjoy his conversation.

Yes, so keep him as a friend.

Girlsearching, You are'nt shallow, you just need to build up your self esteem.
By saying and believing that you'll never find the right one, is what is coming to you. Tell yourself the right one is out there and really believe it.

[girlsearching]

Originally Posted by Ascension

You did the right thing to tell him right away
it's better that way for you and for him even if
you feel bad about the reason why you pushing him .

thats what I regert is making him feel bad that I'm not intrested in him I'm still friends with him though.

[girlsearching]

Originally Posted by Nada

Well actually, that simple fact is a good enough reason to say no.
Do not force yourself. You will regret it.


Yes, so keep him as a friend.

I hate thats the reason because he is not my type I feel like I'm being shallow just how like the guys that I have delt with because they were not intrested in me. They couldn't get passed my looks to get to know me. So thats why I feel Guilty I know that looks are not whats important but if you are not attracted to them than it's hard he not by far unattractive he is nice looking though. So thats why I feel bad about shunning him away.

[girlsearching]

Originally Posted by primrose

Girlsearching, You are'nt shallow, you just need to build up your self esteem.
By saying and believing that you'll never find the right one, is what is coming to you. Tell yourself the right one is out there and really believe it.

Saying it is another thing but actually believeing in myself worth is in a whole new ball park. I know it won't happen over night things take time.

[fire]

A premise that you ought to acknowledge is that we attract unto ourselves experiences in life that are a vibrational match our expectations, beliefs, and underlying emotional turmoil. Your experience of continuously entering info dysfunctional relationships is tied to exactly this.

Love is not a game but within the realm of consciousness, where it has become conceptualised and identified as things it is not. The true understanding of love is not something the mind can comprehend on its own, as it can only experience life through consciousness, as an artificial perception of reality.

The experience of perceiving oneself as shallow can only exist from the mind, on behalf of how the mind interprets what it wants to believe that love is. It may or may not start with an emotional connection between two parts, in which the latter case, the foundation of the relationship is based entirely from a mental perspective, by defining what the perfect mate has to look like and be like, and then chasing the fulfilment of realising this story, of what the mind has come to label "the perfect love".

The reason why one may become prone to living by such a perception has to do with a self-love imbalance. In human society, there has always been the definition of social status, as rejection of that which does not conform to certain norms. One strives to become the ideal image of the persona one has defined oneself to be, and what the definition of success looks like from this perspective. This concept, as a way of living, can, however, only exist from a perspective of feeling insecure about oneself, as one's perceived value of self will appear to be inferior, due to distortions caused by emotional imbalances.

What I would recommend for you to do, to begin to move beyond this experience, is to look up a video on YouTube, titled The pulse Technique, by Deb Cummings. This video features a source energy clearing transmission, that will assist you by clearing away all unwanted programs that are related to any subject of your choice. All you have to do is simply focus upon and think about everything that bothers you about the subject, during the 3 minutes of the transmission, and the energy will initiate a process to progressively clear all of it over time, until the root cause has been permanently terminated.

In preparation to using this healing tool, I recommend that you write down a list about the subjects that bother you, and additional subitems for the most persistent and undesired experiences related to them. It is important that you are completely honest with yourself, and that you allow yourself to feel the entanglements as they are. All you have to do next is then to address each item with the clearing transmission, one by one, and the energy will simply take care of the rest for you, allowing you to continue about your life and experience an exponential unfolding of becoming more of who you really are.