I think I may actually be clinically depressed ?

Originally Posted by amy green

Well...if this has left you feeling how you look in your photo....!

One word of caution though - an epsom bath is not advisable for anyone with a heart condition.
I was surprised that this was not mentioned in the video.

What's been cut out from the photo is my 3 grandsons crawling over me.

I take your point about the baths - I am a bit surprised (if there is a danger) -as he's a well qualified scientist and therapist - and knows his stuff; but I will ask him (Chris Hyslop).

My wife's blood pressure has gone down, after a few days use of the Aura Cleanser (approx 2 hours use a day).

I will keep on testing the machine- but it could be something very 'extra'.

[samantha]

Hi bella, you sound like me and i thought i actually had avoidant personality disorder. I am introverted and sensitve, my whole life i couldnt talk about feelings, hated attention it even made me ill, i was never a cuddly person and if anyone stands just a bit too close i didnt like it. I felt abnormal and felt like folk were constantly judging me for this, i couldnt even talk to my family about my feelings for fear of being laughed at. I also spend alot of time alone wishing i could be different, well just like everyone else. Relationships were a no no for me because i felt different and not normal i didnt think any male would ever like me let alone love. All these things we kept in deep down never got dealt with and they stay there but eventually with life and other things our body cant take anymore and can cause alot of different things like depresion etc. You dont really sound like you are depressed but symptoms vary. It is usually characterized by a lack of energy and motivation and feelings of hopelessness, guilt, low self-esteem, feeling helpless, difficulty concentrating, crying and sleeping more. Have you tried to be different? I did but it can make things worse.

[Saggi]

Hi Bella,

Here is what I kept getting, when I was in the place you are,,,

Made in a factory that handles nut ingredients. May contain traces of nuts or nut derivatives

Along with,,,

Approaching landing level, please take care

This was on a visit to Tesco, on opening up, I was directed to the store and told to focus,,, So I walked around reading the labels,,, each time I read those words, the voice on the travelator got louder, so I heard the landing level message really loudly

There are 2 of us in my family, without a diagnosis,,, Try going down your route thinking you aren't mentally ill, especially after being told by someone that you are in a derogatory manner,,, From my post the other day, it seems people still consider me to have issues

I grew up with the stigma attached to mental illness, heard all the jokes, was subject of conversations because I am my Dad's and Mum's daughter, because I am my brothers' sister,,, Now, probably because I am my sisters' sister,,, shrugs

If there is a history or even herstory, there are fears, stigma, conditioning of some kind,,, These are to be let go of,,, Brought to the forefront,,, trampled on if need be,,, For your own peace of mind and sanity,,, The support is there for you, you yourself know when you need support, etc,,, To the point where this is as much of the journey,,, not everyone approaches for medical advice because of the stigma involved too,,,

Walk your path Bella, whatever it is you have to walk, so be it,,,

If the medication helps you enjoy life more than without it, it's doing good,,,

All the best

Jo

XxXx

[Michelle11]

We are not doctors and as such none of us can advise you to take or not take meds. It sounds like you have some sort of psychological issues going on that seem to indicate a depressive state of mind at play. But I think beyond whether or not you should or shouldn't be taking meds it is of the utmost importance that you seek out counseling so you can work through your issues at dealing with life. The fact that you have things that trigger your moods indicates that there are some cognitive things going on that can be worked on that may help you to work through what you are struggling with. A good therapist can help you to pinpoint what ails your mind and help give you tools to work through it. If you can't afford a therapist try and contact your local hospital and see if there are any free support groups or programs that you may join to help you but the important thing is to take steps to work through your thought processes rather than simply covering them up with meds. You may need the meds for a real disorder but you will still benefit from some cognitive therapy to help you learn how to cope with life. Please stay strong and find some help because you deserve to be happy.

Originally Posted by Bella

Depression, Anxiety and Mood Swings run in my Dad's side of the family. All my half nieces on his side have it, including my half sister. It's very common. My mom, brother and her side of the family don't suffer from any of that. They are very calm, practical and reliable.

Ever since I can remember I've had a habit of avoidance.
I'm not sure what started it. I can only recall what I avoided, I avoided unwanted attention, I avoided school, I avoided being close to my mom, I avoided being open and 'vulnerable' to my parents, I avoided letting anyone in on how I felt or thought deep down. I avoided high school & having a normal life while in it. Finding new friends happens but the connection never stays strong because in my perspective life happens and once I realize I haven't seen them in a while, I just don't try too. I've avoided the day time as far as I remember, and lately I've consistently have avoided facing my life.

To sum this all up. ... Last year I tried an anti depressed perscriped to me while at a walk in clinic, I was fine with it until a trigger set me off while attending my boyfriends birthday with his family ... the trigger was an interaction with his mother that wasn't suppose to be harmful or intended to make me feel bad but she managed to set me off with how I perceived and took it in.

I was set off into a spiral of high vulnerability, ... feeling alienated and closed off, a sinking feeling, a feeling that I needed to run far away and never trust again. A fight happened with my boyfriend and I once we left to go on a walk, I broke down in tears due to the chemical. Another fight happened later than night his mom ignited, I refused to react. I closed off and took it all in. My boyfriend and I repaired our trust in one another, but I never went back on the drug.

That was back in September, and just a week ago I went with his mother to a walk in clinic and she got the doctor to prescribe me a anti-depressant, anti-anxiety she believes would be a good choice. I received it in 10MG, but am suppose to cut it in half. Taking it daily for a week.

The thing that is setting me back on trusting this whole ordeal enough .. trusting that I need medication whatsoever ... well ... I can't seem to decided .. wether or not if it's external circumstances that are making me so unhappy and unmotivated, or if it's my brain chemistry.

Even without being on any meds, there are still triggers I have with my boyfriend .. but they aren't irrational. Only in the sense that if I kind of trigger him when seeming like I want things done right away and that triggers him considering he works full time and I consistently avoid daily life ..

It's irrational when I speak and say something and he doesn't have much of a response since he isn't very extroverted with speech, it drives me nuts and I cause myself to mentally & emotionally shut off. When he tries to get a hold of me around the same time I'm already far gone inside, and that triggers him into anger.

Should I just take the chance with this medication? Do I sound clinically depressed? from thinking it over causes me to be afraid the medication will only cause disasters. I'm afraid of clinical drugs that alter anything. I wish I wasn't so afraid of just going with it. My boyfriend has told me forever now, ever since we got together & that was eight months ago .. that if I don't get a daily routine, we won't last as long as we want too because he will eventually have to break it off.


I have a question I hope I can find an answer too. If it's not depression, but deep set life long anxiety causing depression ... is it safe to even take anti depressants if it's anxiety at the root of it?

Please do not label yourself with mental illness. I have so many relatives and friends who look up on various types of mental illnesses and found a lot of them relating themselves to the illness that they have just read. They say that they are experiencing these symptoms and some of them even take it seriously and look for professional help even though in reality there is nothing wrong with them. Self-labelling is very dangerous because it can put you into a mindset that you are a victim. Don't treat yourself as a victim, maybe you have anxiety, you may feel depressed sometimes, but that is normal. Just don't sink into the idea that you are mentally ill, whenever your anxious, just feel that anxiety, don't fight it because you are much more than just that stupid feeling. You have to toughen up once in a while, these feelings are comforting, which is weird but we sometimes can not let go of them because of various reasons, but you still have to drop them once you feel them because you clearly don't want it to stay with you for long, right?. Here is just my two cents, meds won't help you, it will create some sort of relief, but that's just temporary, it's dangerous once you develop dependance because it's hard to stop. You have to work your way into becoming the person you really want to be. All you need is strong intention and dedication. I can guarantee you that spiritual practices can tremendously help your progress into being emotionally free. Love and light!

[psychoslice]

But still we label ourselves with heart disease and the rest, so mental illness is no different, its just a label.

Labeling yourself with mental illness often cause you to think that you are fated to live as a victim of the illness. The truth is, you are much higher than this. I am not saying that the path to recovery is simple and easy, it takes time and it often causes even more confusion but everything is worth as long as you know you'll make it. Have faith! Do activities that bring you joy, at times, these feelings of joy will help you widen your perspective. You may feel motivated and realise that it is possible to get rid of the idea that your life is governed by a label that serves you no good. Best of luck! Love and light....

[Gem]

Do your research and consult a professional, find a strategy that you feel comfortable with and also suits you.

Best wishes

[carol09]

Hi "Bella", I am sorry to hear all the suffering you are taking. I have been in a deep depression in years, as well as physical problems. From what I learned, medication might stop the pain temporarily, but it can also cause you some other problems in the mean time if you take it with a long term. Self-adjusting on thoughts, and life styles can be one of the best ways. Otherwise, herbal medicine might help better as well. Try to be more participate with people or a group. If you really hate being with people around, you can try at least read or paint in the public or nature. However, it is hard I know. I wish you all the best! love