I have had years of trying to digest different theories and I keep coming back to TF. I'm not saying I have a TF though I have experienced something that resembles it.
From runner/chaser
Turning my world upside down, inside out
Changing me as a person
Growing me
Hate/Love - both very intense, more than what one can endure at times
Crushing me
Cat/mouse games
Obsession
Becoming numb to it all
To finding clarity, then confusion which repeats in a cyclical manner
None of what I experienced resembles 'love, stability and comfort' like a soulmate gives.
Which leads me to think, that perhaps this person is not my LO (limerent object) or perhaps a combination of TF & LO. Perhaps the reality is that I suffered ambivalent attachment as a child and they have come into my life to trigger this notion, so as to put me on the path of healing?
The odd thing about my experience with this person is that we have never had a physical relationship (and never will). Not even a close or intimate relationship. Just a very intense attraction which makes me wonder if it was just a limerent experience (LE) because I am not entirely sure if they ever felt the same way given I was never able to pin them down for 'that discussion'.
I had a strong sense of a two-way attraction and flirting, though at times wasn't sure if it was all in my head. Hence tossing up between 'was it TF or LO?'
I guess it doesn't matter because if it was my TF then their work is done. I can now question, and face, my own fears of intimacy.
"The truth is that these relationships reflect an unarticulated struggle that exists within the participants. They are both fearful of intimacy and their cat and mouse game allows them to engage in this unspoken dance, where each of them participates in maintaining a certain distance in the relationship. The truth is, unconsciously, the cat is interested in the mouse because it flees, and the mouse is interested in the cat because it chases. As long as one is fleeing and the other chasing, they can each be reassured of a connection between them, but also that a certain distance will be maintained" (thepocketpsychologist.blogspot.co.nz/2009/09/the-fear-of-intimacy-cat-and-mouse)
And to throw the spanner in the works of my questioning mind, I would like to ask you...
Could my TF be here to help steer me onto a path of learning, or are they meant to do more than that?
What I do know is that this is about me, with my TF being the trigger. Your thoughts would be much appreciated
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