Patterns or maybe just me?

Hi all,

I'm new to this forum and I'm going to do my best to share the experience of my current challenge so that maybe you will be able to help.

I am very much in love with a good friend of mine, and I think I always have been. I've known him for 8 years though it's an odd story that maybe some of you might be able to relate to (stragenly enough).

I'm not sure where exactly we became friends, but it definitely started over the internet and over MSN messenger and then we spoke on the phone allll the time too.
We lived in completely different states, and one year apart in age. Completley different types of people, came from different worlds and never really considered him to be anything other than a friend.

A few years ago I moved to the same state with my partner at the time. We never crossed paths, we didnt even speak at that time either just due to me not being online or in contact via phone.
The feeling realisation happened last year, when I broke up with my partner and moved back to my home state, logging onto my MSN account for the first time in 2 years. Alas, my friend was there! We spoke for ages, caught up on everything that had happened and then he realised something was wrong. He called me to console me, a couple of nights after the break up. I never realised how smart or spirtual he was until then. and I had known him for 7 years.
I thought that maybe I was just rebounding and that I'd get over it. I haven't. I saw someone last year for 6 months and during that period we stopped talking for whatever reason... The situation get's more complex. When I told him about this man I was seeing he tells me that he's hurt and that he thought we had something.

The last time I saw him was roughly a month ago, and he was very drunk and I bought a friend along. He told me that he "misses me". He hasn't instigated contact with me since, I asked him if there was anything wrong and he said no.

I don't know what to do. I've tried to condense this story as much as possible but I don't know if it's possible. I want to be with him. My healer told me that if I wanted to be with him, I could be. I don't even know how though when he doesn't seem like he wants to. Please help!

With much love,
MysticalPuffin

[Silver]

Hi.

It seems a little odd to me that for someone who doesn't have a real and/or physical relationship with you, that he expresses feeling hurt when you told him about the fellow you'd been seeing. Doesn't it? That's a bit of a red flag to me, and as they say...there's a lot more fish in the sea. Shrug...do you have plans for going to college or vocational training or anything at all in the way of what you want to do in your life? I'd say spend a little extra time getting to know yourself and what you see in your future that you'd like to do. Friends / men will come and go, but you're always having to live with yourself in the meantime. Best of luck.

[Avilucis]

Hi MysticalPuffin,

I like your name :-)

My advice would be to just enjoy each other, who cares - just let it happen.

Whatever you love about him, concentrate on that because otherwise you're just concentrating on your own insecurities, and you're missing out on him.
Same goes for him, but guess I can't tell him that cos he's not here :-)

But, totally know what you mean, hate that confused feeling lol.

ps If he misses you, that sounds like he wants you to contact him

Thanks for the help you guys, just thought I'd put it out there and see what others thought about this crazy situation.

[Xan]

What I think is, the situation calls for some heart-to-heart communication. A little raw truth could clear things up, one way or another. Otherwise the confusion could go on and on.


Xan