Dark Night of The Soul

It never ceases to amaze me how a little light thrown on a subject can bring profound understanding and with it, renewed compassion.

Thanks for this goes to Loving_Soul, who, with her loving, insightful and kind words, magically (unbeknown to her) invoked a massive, sleepless, night of research, discovery, revelations and realisations.

TF, as it turns out, is going through a 'dark night of the soul' (or 'dark night of the ego' - an apt description I read somewhere), right down to feeling as though he's dying, which I might have understood much sooner had not my ego been ruffled, indignant and consumed with going through my own 'dark night'.

Some of the definitions of this 'dark night of the soul' dug up from various and sundry sources, were:

Lengthy and profound absence of light and hope;
feeling profoundly alone;
leading to the gift of illumination in higher consciousness;*
an avenue for reintegration first through disintegration;*
generally comes late in the kundalini process;
is a precursor to self realisation, often lasting several months,*even a year or more;*
a sense of loneliness, desolation,*with feelings of wanting to die/expecting to die;
sometimes feelings of insanity;
a common phenomena experienced on one’s soul journey of becoming spiritual, or of going from bodily identification to union with one’s higher self.

All of which he's been experiencing intensely for just over a year now.

Then, as if giving me a little 'nod' that I was on the right track, life handed me a beautiful and most unexpected gift:

Several times today, once research was exhausted, his name began appearing everywhere – in books, on websites, the names of others, etc. (you know how it goes).

Then, just a couple of hours ago, out of the blue, I received a brief email from him, saying, “I don't know about anything else, but I do love you.”

One word: wow.

[immortal coil]

I've been through several dark nights myself, but nothing is as bad as before I came into contact with my TF (or who I think is my TF).

I went through a point where nothing went right and felt pretty small and worthless. A month or two before I met my TF, my father got gravely ill, put into the hospital and now permanently in a nursing home. Now for me because of all this there are financial concerns which will leave me having to pick up a second. job.

I believe it's to put you through complete hell and dissolve ego completely because your TF relationship is going to a 100% test of ego.

Several times today, once research was exhausted, his name began appearing everywhere – in books, on websites, the names of others, etc. (you know how it goes).

Then, just a couple of hours ago, out of the blue, I received a brief email from him, saying, “I don't know about anything else, but I do love you.”

One word: wow.

I'm smiling wide and happy for you MM!!! that's all it takes...a little faith that opens the doors to understanding and messages that will come to you in the way of information giving you even more clarity and understanding...I'm soooooo happy for you!

Originally Posted by MorningMist

It never ceases to amaze me how a little light thrown on a subject can bring profound understanding and with it, renewed compassion.

Thanks for this goes to Loving_Soul, who, with her loving, insightful and kind words, magically (unbeknown to her) invoked a massive, sleepless, night of research, discovery, revelations and realisations.

TF, as it turns out, is going through a 'dark night of the soul' (or 'dark night of the ego' - an apt description I read somewhere), right down to feeling as though he's dying, which I might have understood much sooner had not my ego been ruffled, indignant and consumed with going through my own 'dark night'.

Some of the definitions of this 'dark night of the soul' dug up from various and sundry sources, were:

Lengthy and profound absence of light and hope;
feeling profoundly alone;
leading to the gift of illumination in higher consciousness;*
an avenue for reintegration first through disintegration;*
generally comes late in the kundalini process;
is a precursor to self realisation, often lasting several months,*even a year or more;*
a sense of loneliness, desolation,*with feelings of wanting to die/expecting to die;
sometimes feelings of insanity;
a common phenomena experienced on one’s soul journey of becoming spiritual, or of going from bodily identification to union with one’s higher self.

All of which he's been experiencing intensely for just over a year now.

Then, as if giving me a little 'nod' that I was on the right track, life handed me a beautiful and most unexpected gift:

Several times today, once research was exhausted, his name began appearing everywhere – in books, on websites, the names of others, etc. (you know how it goes).

Then, just a couple of hours ago, out of the blue, I received a brief email from him, saying, “I don't know about anything else, but I do love you.”

One word: wow.

Wow is the only way to describe that...what a wonderful warm fuzzy :):) I am glad and humbled that whatever words I spoke resonated within you MM...most of the time I'm fumbling my way through things too and I'm trying to let my intuition reign over words I speak rather than emotions!

I posted on another thread about our SCs being responsible for their own spiritual pathway - this rang true for me as for so long I felt the weight of his darkness and felt incapable of "making it better" for him...I know now I don't need to...I just send him love...MM I really am so happy for you...it just confirms to me how special this forum is for finding our way through this and supporting one another - much love and light to you today...u have had a big night - go gentle on yrself today xox

[Teal]

I am so happy for you soul_whisperer.

I have had these moments. Recently I want my tf to be happy. I want him to find someone to be with. Basically, if i know hes ok. I am ok. So in finding a newer form of a dating profile. I know what i said in a email to him. (anonymously, but I know he knows who its from.) I mention tf type stuff and told him find what makes you happy. I know i did the right thing cause I got confirmation.

[immortal coil]

Originally Posted by MorningMist

Then, as if giving me a little 'nod' that I was on the right track, life handed me a beautiful and most unexpected gift:

Several times today, once research was exhausted, his name began appearing everywhere – in books, on websites, the names of others, etc. (you know how it goes).

I had the same thing happen to me a couple days ago. Her name kept popping up every where (ex. coworker who has a daughter with her first name, contestant on Wheel of Fortune with her first name, customer at work with her first name, etc.). It's a strange, but nice phenomenon.

[twinkle77]

Originally Posted by immortal coil

I had the same thing happen to me a couple days ago. Her name kept popping up every where (ex. coworker who has a daughter with her first name, contestant on Wheel of Fortune with her first name, customer at work with her first name, etc.). It's a strange, but nice phenomenon.

I see his name on car numberplates, billboards, tv adverts etc, everyday without fail, thing is i see my name too..

This has now become a daily occurrence, and as much as it shocks me every time...it is cool!

Originally Posted by soul whisperer

I'm smiling wide and happy for you MM!!! that's all it takes...a little faith that opens the doors to understanding and messages that will come to you in the way of information giving you even more clarity and understanding...I'm soooooo happy for you!

I know! Still grinning like an idiot myself! Lol

Thank you so much again, Loving_Soul

Originally Posted by MorningMist

I know! Still grinning like an idiot myself! Lol

Thank you so much again, Loving_Soul

Omg you are so welcome it feels so great to be able to help another in the "madness" of it all lol keep smilin hun xo