Not taking an Action to help

[Lucyan28]

Originally Posted by Moonglow

Hello,

Would say that even being sensitive towards others shows to me that one has a good heart and is at least aware of another.

Helping another can be a bit tricky at times. At times feel it is the others responsibility to take care of their business and if felt being pulled into "drama" that he/she has set upon themselves, then is it really helping or giving him/her a way out of taking care of what he/she may have to do?

OK, that"s one side. Another side looks at the situation and whether I am able or (yes) even willing to help. This can be a little sticky to deal with and seems to vary. Sometimes, just jump in and give a hand and if not appreciated or thanked, just go on with it.

So, for me depends on how the situation is evaluated and what my gut may tell me. At times there is nothing I can do. Other times can give support and be a sounding board for the other to express his/her feelings.

It is easy to look at in hindsight the should, could, and would, but do these really help?

Sometimes, just have to live with what is decided and try not to beat the self up for it, if no intentional harm was done. Do the best to learn from it and in a way such experiences can help raise awareness of others and the self. At least they have been that way for me.

Hello Moonglow,

It's important the point you said, about helping others and if it is not received then just let it be -well something like that

I'm gonna give it some thought, usually this kind of thoughts takes my will to help away: "what if it is not received in a good way"

I'm afraid I always listen to my brain first rather than my gut, I'll try to follow my "goat" (gut) ;)

[Lucyan28]

Originally Posted by naturesflow

Expectations in this way in self lead to expectations in others in the same light..or it can.

We receive in feeling what we are reaching outward for...its called reflection of your own illusive pain body.
The many ways we feel are opened when we reach out or don't reach out, any feelings not in aligment to our true source of sharing and giving to others will become known to balance themselves out.

Care for self, reach to you first, fill up the hole your seeking to fill for another.

Fear is a tricky one, because you can be caring and want to reach out with good intentions, but if fear is in the mix, your fears will be upstanding for you to release and just care and act naturally without it affecting the return.

When you don't help another or help another your learning how it feels on both sides of your creation.

The nature of wholeness in giving is that you own how it feels fully in you.
Then you can just be yourself, give to your hearts content, and feel the love and joy of being you in this way with fear no longer taking over that care of others or sharing of you.

Hello Naturesflow, thanks for your posts I think I'm gonna need some days or even weeks to understand this one!

Why am I feeling (projecting) this fear -which is more suitable to call worry? I think that is the root cause of my problem here.

[BlueSky]

Originally Posted by Lucyan28

That's right Ivy, it's curious how "life" has an incredible sense of humor to show us what is the stuff that could be stuck within ourselves.

I accept that I'm an introvert, it has its perks, like contemplation, abstract thoughts, reading, enjoying loneliness, spirituality, etc.

I'll see how to get the maximum advantage of this kind of personality.

With this event I realized that I have a small problem with the fear of being embarrassed in public. I guess I should do some kind of work and healing to fix it.

You might find it helpful to research what Carl Jung has to say about "shame".
I did some searching and it seems like it might help you understand your reaction better.

[Lucyan28]

Originally Posted by Capacity

You might find it helpful to research what Carl Jung has to say about "shame".
I did some searching and it seems like it might help you understand your reaction better.

I'll do it right away, thanks Cap

[QuantumKev]

Originally Posted by Lucyan28

This morning I had the opportunity to help someone but I didn't take the necessary actions to do so.

It was nothing that important but a guy missed his bus because of it.

Now I feel awful and regretting for not doing anything. Terrific way to start the week

This regret is similar to when we hurt people, I don't know why I feel that way, I know is not the case but it feels like that.

I think that for introverted people sometimes to help others, in little things, in front of strange people is a big challenge. I guess that the fear of being embarrassed is too strong for us.

Well that is my silly introverted mini-me.

Hi Lucyan :)

I have had that same experience and can totally relate to the way you are feeling. I think the fact that you have a little regret, that you see how your personality style can make things like that challenging and that you want to do it different next time says a lot about you spiritually. It shows a lot of self-awareness, and that instead of just beating yourself up about it, you can use it as an opportunity to learn and grow and maybe make a different decision the next time a situation like that comes up.

Be gentle with yourself, ok? It is something I need to remind myself of often, as I am typically much harsher on myself than anyone else is when it comes to "grading" my actions and thoughts lol.

Many Blessings...

Qkev

[essvass]

Originally Posted by Capacity

You might find it helpful to research what Carl Jung has to say about "shame".
I did some searching and it seems like it might help you understand your reaction better.

Thank you, Capacity. I looked at that info. Shame is very dear to my heart too. Your good idea was put to some use.

[Lucyan28]

Originally Posted by QuantumKev

Hi Lucyan :)

I have had that same experience and can totally relate to the way you are feeling. I think the fact that you have a little regret, that you see how your personality style can make things like that challenging and that you want to do it different next time says a lot about you spiritually. It shows a lot of self-awareness, and that instead of just beating yourself up about it, you can use it as an opportunity to learn and grow and maybe make a different decision the next time a situation like that comes up.

Be gentle with yourself, ok? It is something I need to remind myself of often, as I am typically much harsher on myself than anyone else is when it comes to "grading" my actions and thoughts lol.

Many Blessings...

Qkev

Hello QuantumKev

Oh my god ! We're alike :) I'm also too harsh on myself.

It's curious, years ago I was too harsh to everybody -when I was a teenager- judging their actions, conducts, etc. That behavior ended with some experiences and comprehensions, now that I think about it I'm really surprised that is has ended for good lol

Maybe in some years I will not be that harsh on myself.

[BlueSky]

Originally Posted by essvass

Thank you, Capacity. I looked at that info. Shame is very dear to my heart too. Your good idea was put to some use.

Awesome! That's great to hear.

[naturesflow]

Sensitive caring types tend to like to *be nice*...and often in the niceness of being, you reveal what houses your *nice* aspects. Often it reflects so much placed in you around expectations to be a certain way for others. *Programmed patterns, not clear in intention*

*The done thing*...:)

Yet being you open and free of fears related allows you just to BE.

[naturesflow]

Originally Posted by Lucyan28

Hello Naturesflow, thanks for your posts I think I'm gonna need some days or even weeks to understand this one!

Why am I feeling (projecting) this fear -which is more suitable to call worry? I think that is the root cause of my problem here.

Yes that would fit. Worrying about how you need to be versus how you can just BE you, however you need to be!