Love after twin flame

[sunshine]

Hi to all,

It's been a while since I've come by and the reason how I stumbled upon this forum in the first place was discovering the weird sensations after meeting what I would now call probably my twin flame. Long story short...he might as well be my soul's counterpart but I am certain none of us is ready in this lifetime and I have a strong feeling we won't meet again anytime soon. And I am okay with that. I have taken my time for spirituality, waking up, processing the process, feeling it all, grieving and leaving it in the past as a turning point for many realisations. This forum was helpful, there were some words I have read in threads that resonated with me and made clear things even clearer.

But after such a profound experience I wonder how will this affect finding a partner? Are my expectations now flawed? Will I want someone to sweep me off my feet and open the doors of the universe!?

I have taken enough time to come to terms with myself again, my priorities, goals, etc. and become grounded and connected to my surroundings again.

I just fear that no one can now "move" in a way he was able to (and vice versa). I am afraid that my expectations are now set unrealistically high regarding what "feelings" there should be in a partnership. But twin flame feelings are not real-life-everyday feelings....

How should I go about it? Will I fall in love again? Should I even strive for that? Can it even happen? And even if it does, there's no guarantee it will last...

I know these are questions no one can give a fair answer too and everyone's story and life experience is different.

Anyways, if someone takes the time to give an idea or an answer, it would be appreciated.

Thank you.

-Sunshine

[John32241]

Hello Sunshine,

My understanding and my experience(s) have been that twin flame relationships Seem To stimulate spiritual awareness more than any thing else.

I like the term soul bond for a partnership relationship. That is where the personalities resonate in such a way that the relationship is more of an enjoyable experience and not an educational awakening,

Human love is designed to be conditional as it relates to chemistry, magnetics, and the inclinations of those involved. Unconditional love where there is no compatibility can often be found with twin flames.

John

[7luminaries]

I feel it's a shame that there have to be so many either/or's.

The conditional stuff seems very unappealing without the unconditional aspect...which would seem to say it is never entirely conditional once authentic love is involved...and now where does that leave us, if we've always ascribed authentic love to non-sexual relationships ONLY? It leaves us potentially healed, rather than perennially broken, for starters.

BTW physicality with authentic love also sounds much more appealing to about 100% of the women, who literally cry tears of joy at the thought of not having to slice up their circle of being to fit into a rigid square box. BUT...there's also much, much more to soul love than just intimate partnership relationships.

I have also experienced huge growth and insights with my best girlfriend and others in my life, where the personalities are resonant.
Even when it's a trying and painful time, all soul family and soul friends are a great blessing if they relate to you from a place of LOVE versus resentment or conflict.

I am thinking of the Edgar Cayce "short list" of why souls incarnate, with regard to other souls...three reasons with endless combinations and permutations:

1. To pay off/pay back obligations
2. To resolve differences
3. To perpetuate love

Many want to cut to the end and just selfishly partake of the perpetual love of others, without ever engaging and caring for the needs of this life from a place of love themselves. They resent or loathe you otherwise (for example, you are their child and they are obligated to care for you whilst young), or else approach you with endless conflict if you differ in any way.

And yet the needs of this lifetime do include obligation (to our fellow man and woman). And they do include the need to engage, to love, to accept, to forgive, and to reconcile -- that is, to resolve differences. And moreover, to allow differences to be and to be ok, in many cases.

And whilst obligations and necessary resolution of differences do exist in this life, these are not bad or wrong per se. They can all be approached from a place of love. Conversely, without love to contextualise all else, these things become sources of negativity from which to grind others down during one's interactions or relationships.

Peace & blessings
7L

[Baile]

Originally Posted by sunshine

Are my expectations now flawed?

Your expectations are what you choose. If you expect things from others, you will very often be disappointed. If you accept what others have to offer and ask no more than that, you will never be disappointed. If you cannot go into a relationship without comparing the new to the old, the present to the past, then you haven't fully processed your past relationship. Counseling might help at that point.

Expectation baggage... essentially the undoing of every ex-relationship on one level or another.

[Tuesday]

Great question, been wondering that my self also.

The problem is, even without expectation, there is still this gap between being with your twin flame and being with a soulmate. A soulmate can understand you to some extent, but never fully.

The problem is not the expectations, the problem is the reality that no one can ever compete with your twin flame and the experience you had with them.

But yes, i think you can have a meaningful relationship with a soulmate. Expectations (here's where it comes to part), unfortunately, will not be fulfilled like a twin flame would (and wouldn't if you have expectations when with your twin) fulfill them.

Yeah, i don't know how to survive the idea that my twin flame doesn't want me. And a soulmate connection feels like... ****.

[jro5139]

Wow you are asking the tough questions:)

In short, yes you can fall in love or like other people. Since meeting my twin I have had crushes on others and even fell in love with someone else (briefly, as I was only around this person briefly, so it didn't last) but,
in a sense, I also feel that there will never be anyone that I am attracted to more, and yes that presents a bit of an issues. That's probably why, since meeting my twin, I have not gone out looking for other relationships.

The thing about realizing soul connections and what that feels like, is now I have no desire to start relationships just to have a relationship. If I ever have another serious relationship, I only want one with a sc and I only want to be serious with someone that could be my best friend. So that limits the possibilities quite a bit.

As tf's, you designed each other to be each other's perfect counterpart. That means to me, any other relationship I have will probably be at least, a bit of a settle. Unless I happen to meet another very close sc, which is always a possibility. Don't rule that out, it has been known to happen.
So yes, you can have a relationship and find someone else you are also excited about. The issue for me is, that doesn't mean that what I feel for tf will ever go away, and that could, potentially, always lead to future problems.

I think the most important thing in any relationship, is to always be honest. Just be honest and that is the best way to go about these things.
If having another relationship is something you want and that is important to you, then don't let a tf that won't commit to you, stop that. Do what is best for you and follow your heart. Go after what you want. You can meet other potential partners that will still sweep you off your feet. And always be as honest as you can with yourself and everyone else.

[BlueCat]

Originally Posted by jro5139

Wow you are asking the tough questions:)

In short, yes you can fall in love or like other people. Since meeting my twin I have had crushes on others and even fell in love with someone else (briefly, as I was only around this person briefly, so it didn't last) but,
in a sense, I also feel that there will never be anyone that I am attracted to more, and yes that presents a bit of an issues. That's probably why, since meeting my twin, I have not gone out looking for other relationships.

The thing about realizing soul connections and what that feels like, is now I have no desire to start relationships just to have a relationship. If I ever have another serious relationship, I only want one with a sc and I only want to be serious with someone that could be my best friend. So that limits the possibilities quite a bit.

As tf's, you designed each other to be each other's perfect counterpart. That means to me, any other relationship I have will probably be at least, a bit of a settle. Unless I happen to meet another very close sc, which is always a possibility. Don't rule that out, it has been known to happen.
So yes, you can have a relationship and find someone else you are also excited about. The issue for me is, that doesn't mean that what I feel for tf will ever go away, and that could, potentially, always lead to future problems.

I think the most important thing in any relationship, is to always be honest. Just be honest and that is the best way to go about these things.
If having another relationship is something you want and that is important to you, then don't let a tf that won't commit to you, stop that. Do what is best for you and follow your heart. Go after what you want. You can meet other potential partners that will still sweep you off your feet. And always be as honest as you can with yourself and everyone else.

You took the words from my mouth!I really want to met another one after the last disappointment i had lately and i feel there are more walls compared to before for the connection. I noticed most stayers/chaser people after the TF runner runs away to the hills struggle to find another soulmate/SC, the feelings or attraction last for a very short time or you aren't interested to anyone. It's for this i stopped to date and find people, i don't want to lose my time just to not having any spark towards someone, i can't fake feelings as some do just for settle. I'm just asking the universe to send another SM/SC and be attracted to that person.

[ssdm1]

Originally Posted by sunshine

Hi to all,

But after such a profound experience I wonder how will this affect finding a partner? Are my expectations now flawed? Will I want someone to sweep me off my feet and open the doors of the universe!?

I have taken enough time to come to terms with myself again, my priorities, goals, etc. and become grounded and connected to my surroundings again.

I just fear that no one can now "move" in a way he was able to (and vice versa). I am afraid that my expectations are now set unrealistically high regarding what "feelings" there should be in a partnership. But twin flame feelings are not real-life-everyday feelings....

How should I go about it? Will I fall in love again? Should I even strive for that? Can it even happen? And even if it does, there's no guarantee it will last...

I know these are questions no one can give a fair answer too and everyone's story and life experience is different.

Anyways, if someone takes the time to give an idea or an answer, it would be appreciated.

Thank you.

-Sunshine

This happened to me because my tf and I met so young. When you experience a tf relationship when you are very young it is very difficult to be satisfied with someone who comes after. I dated, but felt blah about those men. I did fall in love with a man, but I remember thinking that that love felt different from the love I had with my tf. I remember thinking it was probably more mature love. That relationship did not last, and I had very little trouble getting over the man, even though I did love him and would have married him.

What I felt with my tf is like nothing else. It is very intense and I can feel it in my soul. He is back in my life again after 20 years apart. The feeling is still intense and because I'm more advanced than he is he does not understand.

My suggestion is to just be open to being friends with men in the future and see if that leads to a relationship. I found I needed to really know someone, have spent time working with or in school with them, before I could consider dating or anything else.

[sunshine]

Thanks to all for your answers!

It's reassuring to hear that it is possible meeting other people, who you can also connect with...hearing that from others' personal experiences.

Before this connection I was definitely more open and excited for the opposite sex, now it feels more like I've matured and it takes a lot to grab my attention. But that's a good thing, I'm not jumping into every interaction I would before. Still, I have to work on my idea of perfection, which is simply meeting someone, "knowing", marrying, etc. (it doesn't help that many of my friends have had exactly that scenario play out haha). I think this is something that potentially blocks me from giving people a chance.

There is so much I could write about, but many of the stuff is just inner thoughts and ideas I have to work through. Ughhghh....

Thanks again for your help :)