Am I a prude?

[twinkle]

Originally Posted by Nada

BTW, most men have threesome fantasy.

However, a man that you do not know very well talks to you about threesomes indicates clearly that he is not serious about you and that he is just looking for a short term sex partner.

I guess I would get mad at most men, then. Well, this man did not know me very well before he brought this up. So, I should have been mad?

[Kaere]

Perhaps not mad... but not prudish to turn it down either. Quite reasonable in fact and if he laid any kinda guilt on you for turning it down, well... who wants to be intimate with a fella like that?

Originally Posted by twinkle

I have been unlucky in love. Since I have not dated any guy I liked enough to be in a long-term or serious relationship with, I am not as familiar with what is the norm in serious relationships. Do most couples in a serious relationship engage in threesomes?

Ohlala!
Actually, when I'm in love with the guy,
and the guys who did/fell in love with me said the same thing -
I am(and they are) content and happy with the only one I/they love, so I do not see the need for a third party.
I admit I was a jealous woman when I was younger,
but now it amazes even myself to find that
I was telling my boyfriend that it's Ok,
he can have sex with another woman he wants(but not threesome with me) He told me off-thinking I just want to be told the same thing so I can be free to do it.(which we are anyway 'cause we are not yet married)
I am not jealous anymore,
but I still like being the only queen of my loveone.

[twinkle]

Originally Posted by Kaere

...if he laid any kinda guilt on you for turning it down, well... who wants to be intimate with a fella like that?

Now that I think of it, this post probably has more to do with guilt than prude. Although it might have not been intentional, he did make me felt guilty...guilty in a different sense. He made me feel like I was anti-gay in a way (against two women being together). I know I am not anti-gay. It is just that I can't be someone I am not (gay).

Originally Posted by twinkle

I guess I would get mad at most men, then. Well, this man did not know me very well before he brought this up. So, I should have been mad?

Lol. If that is your prerogative, so be it. I don't think anyone can answer that but you.

[Kaere]

Originally Posted by twinkle

Now that I think of it, this post probably has more to do with guilt than prude. Although it might have not been intentional, he did make me felt guilty...guilty in a different sense. He made me feel like I was anti-gay in a way (against two women being together). I know I am not anti-gay. It is just that I can't be someone I am not (gay).

Shoulda assumed and asked him for photo of the other fella

I would try to not fret about it... no guilt there for being you

Originally Posted by twinkle

Now that I think of it, this post probably has more to do with guilt than prude. Although it might have not been intentional, he did make me felt guilty...guilty in a different sense. He made me feel like I was anti-gay in a way (against two women being together). I know I am not anti-gay. It is just that I can't be someone I am not (gay).

That guy sounds like edit: 'Creep' to me.

Did you tell him you want to be with him and another guy? How does that make him feel? lol.

Looks to me like he was trying to manipulate you, whether it was conscious or not.

I agree any man that would feel the need to bring that up without knowing you very well is a creep, and probably not a keeper. You are not a prude in my eyes.

[Tobi]

Originally Posted by twinkle

Yes, I came across a man interested in this. I can't say if past men I dated were into this since I did not stick around long enough to find out. I got mad at this man for revealing his sexual fantasy to me. I am not sure if I had the right to be mad just because I did not like it. I did not have to participate if I did not want to. Recently, I read some relationship advice that stated not to make your man feel ashamed to tell you sexual fantasies. Just checking.

There's no harm in sexual fantasies of this kind. There's no harm in acting on them. It's a form of sexual exploration, and for some people is recreational and fun.
But in order for there to be any kind of serious relationship between two said people, they would have to have tastes like this in common. If one person is uneasy about a particular fantasy, because it doesn't happen to "turn them on", then there's a gap in compatibility.
There's nothing un-cool or prudish about having your own sexual preferences either. They do not have to match someone else's ideas of "how you should be" in their eyes

[twinkle]

Originally Posted by missrachel300

That guy sounds like edit: 'Creep' to me.

Did you tell him you want to be with him and another guy? How does that make him feel? lol.

Looks to me like he was trying to manipulate you, whether it was conscious or not.

Thanks all. I just needed to hear he was a creep.

After I expressed my true feelings, which was anger, I told him I did not think he wanted to be with another man but that was ok with me. I never heard from him again.