'Happiness is a choice.'

[Emmalevine]

I'd be interested in views about this statement. Do you think happiness is always a choice no matter what happens? If so, how do we achieve it?

Many people say that no circumstances have the power to strip someone of their emotional or mental state that they choose. Is this true even in extremely difficult circumstances?

I feel there's a lot of truth in the above statements but I also feel concerned that some perspectives move away from the compassionate response towards the judgemental.

Some books I have read even state that human grief after a death is unnecessary and a sign of 'conditioning' because society loves misery. Others have said that 'negative emotions' mean we have moved away from spirit. If we're not full of joy all the time, something is wrong.

Can we choose to be happy, within reason?

I guess I really struggle to get my head around this.

I feel the more we think about happiness, the less we feel it/ experience it. Because what happens then is that we try to measure it. And how do you measure happiness? Because if it has to do with reaching a certain spiritual milestone, how do you reach it? Or how do you get all the things you want so that you can be happy?

So I feel it becomes more of a race or something to obtain rather than experience when we think about happiness.

I don't know if happiness is a choice or not. I do, however, feel that it's possible.

Yes, at least to a certain extent..Because creation seems to be all everything. therefore..Us being creation are to be a bit all everything ...I'm not very clear am I ? God made Man in his her own image..Creation being all encompassing, and to lead a full life, the tears of joy we shed will have been punctuated by tears of sorrow...and all points between.

Anyway back to my answer..Yes you can choose to be happy, but at the expense of what ?... A single minded pursuit of bliss at the expense of experiencing pain and adversity that in many cases defines us and strengthens us.

Many of us subconsciously or even collectively consciously choose happiness and pain , not only so that we might differentiate between the two, but so that we might grow from our pain and setbacks..

On the surface, it doesn't appear that we should be able to be happy no matter what happens

things happen that seem to cause us misery. death. loss. pain.

is there a way past that? yes. thats what spirituality is about. I'll share a quote of Eckhart Tolle

“The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it.”

spirituality aims at bringing us into a deeper experience of this. practicing comes into the picture because we are not used to watching our thoughts, and don't understand the effect they have on us.

this is often not brought into our awareness at all. and this is not to say that

-something bad happens
-you have specific thoughts
-and then the suffering comes

rather, its often due to our thought system, which is a result of our beliefs

to answer the question directly, yes, happiness is a choice
but that doesn't mean we shouldn't be compassionate towards those that are experiencing suffering

it wouldnt do much good to look at someone who is suffering and say something like, "you just dont get it. youre doing this to yourself."

this is not helpful at all, you have to speak the language of the person you're talking to, and most of the world is just not ready to hear that. there is no use in showing off your spiritual progress. to be compassionate is to communicate with them in the most loving way that they will understand.

Originally Posted by Starbuck

I'd be interested in views about this statement. Do you think happiness is always a choice no matter what happens? If so, how do we achieve it?

Many people say that no circumstances have the power to strip someone of their emotional or mental state that they choose. Is this true even in extremely difficult circumstances?

I feel there's a lot of truth in the above statements but I also feel concerned that some perspectives move away from the compassionate response towards the judgemental.

Some books I have read even state that human grief after a death is unnecessary and a sign of 'conditioning' because society loves misery. Others have said that 'negative emotions' mean we have moved away from spirit. If we're not full of joy all the time, something is wrong.

Can we choose to be happy, within reason?

I guess I really struggle to get my head around this.

I hear you Starbuck.

For me, it has always come down seeing the importance of the Results of my choices, more so than the choices.

If I am dealing with a situation that gives me only grief and pain, then I take into account what I have to do, in order to best serve those who depend on me. Those are the people who I love and live for. What choice will serve my loved ones best, is More important than how I feel about it in the moment. If you think in a future orientated way and give yourself a goal, it can often help with the search for happiness.

That's what helps me, anyway.

[God-Like]

Hi

Live life in a particular way and one will be happy from the inside out . Choosing to be happy whilst living in a way that produces happiness from the outside_in ...

then one's choice to be happy will fall upon deaf ears .

x dazzle x

[Xan]

'Happiness is a choice.'

Happiness, or any other feeling state, is a choice we may make when we see that we can, and not before. In other words, we don't have choice until we recognize an alternative.

As long as we feel we are on the receiving end, at effect of what other people do - or situations, or our own mind patterns - we will be reacting automatically from conditioning rather than choosing.

It takes some steps in self-awareness to see just how we are affected in our minds... and more, just where in ourselves the happiness feeling lies hidden, and just how to shift our attention into that energy. Then we begin to live 'at choice' rather than in reactivity.


On the other hand, one might choose to develop their inner awareness, in our universal true nature, where happiness increasingly arises on its own... and where contentment is always our natural condition.


Xan

[Emmalevine]

Thanks everyone I am really going to ponder over these replies. This issue, and ones very much like it, have tied me up in knots for a long time. I totally agree about thoughts affecting our emotions and so a situation changes according to how we look at it. But to my eyes some situations are just horrible and this is where I struggle.

I guess this issue has personal roots for me because I feel guilty on some level for feeling 'bad.' When I'm experiencing a negative emotion there is a part of me that beats myself up for having it. Not good, really.

I am going away on retreat tomorrow and this issue is going to be on my mind a lot me thinks! I'm back on Thursday so won't be online until then.

Thanks again for sharing your thoughts on this. I will be back..

Originally Posted by Starbuck

Thanks everyone I am really going to ponder over these replies. This issue, and ones very much like it, have tied me up in knots for a long time. I totally agree about thoughts affecting our emotions and so a situation changes according to how we look at it. But to my eyes some situations are just horrible and this is where I struggle.

I guess this issue has personal roots for me because I feel guilty on some level for feeling 'bad.' When I'm experiencing a negative emotion there is a part of me that beats myself up for having it. Not good, really.

I am going away on retreat tomorrow and this issue is going to be on my mind a lot me thinks! I'm back on Thursday so won't be online until then.

Thanks again for sharing your thoughts on this. I will be back..

Good luck with everything, starbuck. lol

I know what it's like to feel bad for feeling bad. Don't be too hard on yourself. If it was such a terrible thing to feel what we call "negative" emotions, then even the holiest men we hail today are God awful. It's natural and normal to feel low.

Good luck!

Originally Posted by Starbuck

Thanks everyone I am really going to ponder over these replies. This issue, and ones very much like it, have tied me up in knots for a long time. I totally agree about thoughts affecting our emotions and so a situation changes according to how we look at it. But to my eyes some situations are just horrible and this is where I struggle.

I guess this issue has personal roots for me because I feel guilty on some level for feeling 'bad.' When I'm experiencing a negative emotion there is a part of me that beats myself up for having it. Not good, really.

I am going away on retreat tomorrow and this issue is going to be on my mind a lot me thinks! I'm back on Thursday so won't be online until then.

Thanks again for sharing your thoughts on this. I will be back..

All the best on your time away. Hope you enjoy! See you when you're back home again.