*Disclaimer: post contains some adult (explicit) content
Trying to write an essay ATM but can't seem to get a pressing personal issue off of my mind... Something strange has been happening to me for about a year and a half related to a relationship. I've soul-searched, prayed, asked spirit guides, used divination... and not arrived at a satisfactory conclusion. I decided to put it out to a few message boards and see if anyone else has insight.
Basically, I got into a relationship in spring of 2017. Met this guy on a dating app (this is a male-male relationship I'm describing). Things seemed fairly normal/standard in the beginning, albeit he seemed somewhat needy/insecure/clingy but I wouldn't say to an extreme. After probably 6 months into the relationship I noticed that certain symptoms / sensations would crop up every time we were together. They initially seemed somewhat vague and unspecific to try and explain (although felt very strong and very real), so I decided to write out a list to best describe the overall experience. Here is my best attempt to explain the feelings I get while/after we are together:
-hot
-nervy
-weak
-weak hands (similar to upon just waking up when it's difficult to make a fist if anyone can relate to that)
-very tired (need hours of extra sleep via naps for 1-3 days after spending time together)
-drained
-low brain-power
-can't think
-difficulty forming thoughts
-skin sensitive to touch (painful, nervy feeling)
-water (like from a shower) hurts skin
-loss of personality
-loss of identity
-loss of creativity
-depressed
-joints/bones ache
-feeling opposite of grounded
-burnt feeling
-my own skin/body feels like him (hard to explain... but I feel like when I touch my skin or body it's like I get the vibe from his body, like his essence??)
-extremely drained after sex (ejaculation)
...In other words, like this:
https://youtu.be/JFo6iLDNzX0
He also does this bizarre unconscious body placement. If we are sitting next to each other / cuddling / sleeping he somehow manages to automatically "hook up" to my energy centers or chakras. Like his hand / head/feet on my heart, left arm (primary nerve leading to heart), groin, feet, or top of head. One thing he does on a regular basis is in the night, I will wake up to find he is sleeping but his hand is all the way over to my side, hovering about 6" above the top of my head, palm down, like sucking the life force right out the top of my crown chakra. THAT is creepy.
Now you may be thinking, "WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS GUY FOR STAYING WITH HIM?!". First answer: I don't know. Second answer: This is all so strange/supernatural that almost every time I see him and experience this I walk away going... how can this be real... is this just in my head... this is not possible... this must be psychosomatic. But it's been going on for over a year, EVERY single time I see him. Some time passes, I forget about the severity of the experience, then I see him again and it happens all over again.
He's like a living, breathing, walking vampire (without fangs). Some of you are probably imagining this insidious emo kid or something but he is the most unsuspecting type and that's probably what throws me the most. He's Asian (I'm white), very wealthy, grew up in the USA going to the most prestigious prep schools that presidents and CEOs send their kids to; he's a pretty serious Christian (I am not), and just started medical school so very smart... lots of friends, social, well traveled. What I'm trying to say it that he isn't some dark mysterious social outcast sitting in a hole waiting to pray on me.
The best conclusion I could find was that he is some sort of unintentional, unconscious behavior psychic vampire. So I've tried a myriad of techniques to protect myself from that. Used crystals, tourmaline, white light, psychic shields, prayer... nothing really works. I've tried a cleansing ritual (without him knowing) to see if maybe this wasn't truly coming from *him* but maybe an attachment to him. Also did not work. So how is this guy like the worst psychic vampire I've ever encountered?!?! What do you call these things?
I've literally tried to break up with him probably a dozen times. He just does not take "no" for an answer. It's like boundaries and such cannot be heard or understood. He is obsessed with me. He seems to drink up my presence and it's very creepy feeling at this point. He claims he just loves me a lot but I feel like the victim and he's the predator. I also feel almost hypnotized by the situation, like I feel like I can't get out of the situation unless I move away. I've had a very difficult time breaking free because like I said every attempt to speak of such is irrelevant to him. He also brings out a storm of sad emotions and tears which has deeply effected me every time because I'm empathic. He seems to think because we've been together over a year that's it, we're meant to be, we're stuck together, because he "really loves me" and there's been so much invested.
Can someone explain what this is in metaphysical terms and in detail? Please don't just simply say "he's a psychic vampire." That's pretty obvious. Most of my symptoms around him are PHYSICAL not just emotional/mental. :( What type of vampire? Is this just between him and me, or do you think there is more at play? A spiritual factor (entitiy, curse, etc)? Is this a conflict of elements (like maybe he is fire and I am water element according to traditional Chinese medicine theory)? New theories not mentioned welcome.
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