No such thing as an unattractive physical appearance

[Still_Waters]

Originally Posted by purplefinch

Myself, I am not actually physically attracted to a person when I first meet them, it hasn't been possible for me. Must form a bond with the person. Even then I focus on the inside, and if good? they are radiant on the outside.

But, one thing I have realized for myself, is that I don't find anyone unattractive at first glance. I believe that everyone has a redeeming quality of their physical appearance. You know you can find a small gem in just anyone. I mean, at least for me it would be great to know other people who do too.

I vehemently oppose the action of people rating others physical appearances on a scale of 1-10. Humans should evolve from this. As you begin to know the details about someone and how they behave, the true test begins.

I have always found that physical appearance is no use for me to judge someone. It saddens me that many say it is 'human nature' to judge by appearance or the first step in falling in love with someone is if you are attracted to their physical self. As humans we should use other ways to feel the other person, such as feeling what sort of vibes they emanate. If most humans would shut down the primitive judgment of "physical appearance tells all", then all humans or most can focus on increasing their good vibrations, intuition and their inner self, and in the end, harmony for the whole world!

Well that is idealistic, but it would be great.

By not focusing on the physical appearance of another human, you work on using different senses and tap into the deeper parts of that person which is far more important, especially if you are to work/be around that person for a long period of time.

What a beautiful post !

[Somnia]

Originally Posted by keokutah

What you're describing is the characteristics of someone who is asexual.

I don't think what the OP is describing is asexuality, but rather, desiring to bond with someone on the deeper level *before* engaging in sexual intimacy...

There is nothing wrong with waiting and/or feeling out the compatibility level of another person before engaging in sexual intimacy...and personally this is my preference...I want to know if someone is willing to be with me for the long term for the right reasons and not just using me for sex/pleasure...That is a *major* deal breaker for me if someone wants to "play around" with me when it pertains to sexual intimacy...

But yes, people shouldn't worry about their physical appearances because there is going to be someone out there who will be attracted to not only your physical self, but primarily your inner beauty if you radiate self confidence, love, and positivity...

[Unseelie Queen]

I agree completely, though I personally am fascinated by our culture's obsession with beauty, and how we automatically associate beauty with goodness, and 'ugliness' with unworthiness or even evil. (Fairy tales and various films demonstrate this perfectly) We do all tend to, to an extent, unconsciously associate certain physical traits with goodness and sexual attractiveness. It does irritate me, as well--- for instance, I'll often hear a relative or acquaintance remark about someone (a perfectly decent person, usually) being "creepy" or unattractive. I'll ask them "Hmm, why do you think that?" and they can never give me a very good answer.

[Rozie]

Looks do matter, as does grooming. I don't judge a book by it's cover because it is the combination of how you feel about the person and their appearance that makes the package. Somebody could resemble a greek god but if you don't like them they don't appear attractive. Their features might be nice but they don't look good. If somebody is physically not attractive but I like them, then they appear to be good looking as a package deal. However, there have been people who I really like, but they are ugly in appearance and I wasn't able to get past that. I can overlook a lot but really ugly is hard to take. I could be friends, but not romantic partners...Another time I met this guy and it was for a completely platonic reason and it was just a meeting. He was very very very very ugly...That made a difference. I noted that. The really ugly factor does matter. That is not shallow, it is fact, at least for me. It was an observation.

[TheGlow]

Originally Posted by keokutah

What you're describing is the characteristics of someone who is asexual.

I don't think that's true at all.
I have more drive than most men when I'm in love and it has proven to be permanent. But I'm the same about attraction.

Celebrities, men I see around or know have no effect on me no matter how they look. The ones I've fallen for suddenly became the sexiest men to ever breath air on the face of the earth. Added benifit since the heart remains after the body changes they will remain sexy till the day they leave this earth.

I've been told that I'm physically out of their league but that's not reality to me. When you love someone to their soul even tiny things like how their beard hair reflects light become intensely attractive.

[purplefinch]

Originally Posted by keokutah

What you're describing is the characteristics of someone who is asexual.

There are asexuals who would agree or think similarly to me, however it is possible to be non-asexual in the way where one looks beyond the physical.
In my opinion, this deals with something like... graduating inner sexuality from the 'base' or primal level to a higher level, possibly towards the spirit. In which case, one will realize that physical appearances won't bar them from enjoying and sharing experiences with another human being.

Speaking of graduating inner sexuality, I would suppose that turns it into something different than sexuality, perhaps it evolves into something else. In any case, I think primal sexuality is one of the major causes of a lot of inner and external strife within humanity; the suppression of women for thousands of years, separation of masculinity and femininity ... it goes on.

[girlsearching]

Originally Posted by purplefinch

Myself, I am not actually physically attracted to a person when I first meet them, it hasn't been possible for me. Must form a bond with the person. Even then I focus on the inside, and if good? they are radiant on the outside.

But, one thing I have realized for myself, is that I don't find anyone unattractive at first glance. I believe that everyone has a redeeming quality of their physical appearance. You know you can find a small gem in just anyone. I mean, at least for me it would be great to know other people who do too.

I vehemently oppose the action of people rating others physical appearances on a scale of 1-10. Humans should evolve from this. As you begin to know the details about someone and how they behave, the true test begins.

I have always found that physical appearance is no use for me to judge someone. It saddens me that many say it is 'human nature' to judge by appearance or the first step in falling in love with someone is if you are attracted to their physical self. As humans we should use other ways to feel the other person, such as feeling what sort of vibes they emanate. If most humans would shut down the primitive judgment of "physical appearance tells all", then all humans or most can focus on increasing their good vibrations, intuition and their inner self, and in the end, harmony for the whole world!

Well that is idealistic, but it would be great.

By not focusing on the physical appearance of another human, you work on using different senses and tap into the deeper parts of that person which is far more important, especially if you are to work/be around that person for a long period of time.

Such a Beautiful post I whole heartily agree with everything you typed out. I have tried to see the outer beauty in people that I necessarily don't find appealing , for someone who is struggling with learning to see her beauty and appreciate her facial features too. I think it's also human nature to not find particular physical assets attractive out of having a preference , but even that can change epically when you get older. Nobody likes to think of themselves as unattractive (I try to refrain from saying Ugly) I'm not perfect though I slip up sometimes. I would love for someone to see me with their Naked Eye seeing beyond my outer shell.

[Somnia]

I found this lovely quote on Facebook and thought I'd share it here :3

"Everything has beauty but not everyone sees it" - Confucius

"Everyone has their own ideas about what makes something beautiful. But, beauty is not all about appearances. You have to look deeper than just the outside of something or someone to find the true beauty within. If you choose to just look at surface beauty, you will truly miss out on some wonderful relationships and opportunities."

[jojobean]

Originally Posted by Somnia

I found this lovely quote on Facebook and thought I'd share it here :3

"Everything has beauty but not everyone sees it" - Confucius

"Everyone has their own ideas about what makes something beautiful. But, beauty is not all about appearances. You have to look deeper than just the outside of something or someone to find the true beauty within. If you choose to just look at surface beauty, you will truly miss out on some wonderful relationships and opportunities."

love it. I may borrow it from you for my daily inspirational for tomorrow.
thank you!

[Justme1981]

Originally Posted by purplefinch

Myself, I am not actually physically attracted to a person when I first meet them, it hasn't been possible for me. Must form a bond with the person. Even then I focus on the inside, and if good? they are radiant on the outside.

But, one thing I have realized for myself, is that I don't find anyone unattractive at first glance. I believe that everyone has a redeeming quality of their physical appearance. You know you can find a small gem in just anyone. I mean, at least for me it would be great to know other people who do too.

I vehemently oppose the action of people rating others physical appearances on a scale of 1-10. Humans should evolve from this. As you begin to know the details about someone and how they behave, the true test begins.

I have always found that physical appearance is no use for me to judge someone. It saddens me that many say it is 'human nature' to judge by appearance or the first step in falling in love with someone is if you are attracted to their physical self. As humans we should use other ways to feel the other person, such as feeling what sort of vibes they emanate. If most humans would shut down the primitive judgment of "physical appearance tells all", then all humans or most can focus on increasing their good vibrations, intuition and their inner self, and in the end, harmony for the whole world!

Well that is idealistic, but it would be great.

By not focusing on the physical appearance of another human, you work on using different senses and tap into the deeper parts of that person which is far more important, especially if you are to work/be around that person for a long period of time.

Perfect synchronicity with this thread, Purplefinch. Up until a week ago I was too cynical to think you were being authentic; I would have thought you were just being, "Politically Correct," whatever that term means. I would have given you an absurd pedantic lecture about beauty and love all rooted in cynicism. But, no you are correct based on this experience I had last week.

Here is what happened. I went to my favorite gas station to buy soda and as I was walking from my car to the store I had just the most blissful intense feeling of love I have never felt before. Instinctively, I looked in the direction of a woman walking in my direction. The moment was peaceful and bliss, intense like nothing I have ever felt before and the first thought I had in my head was, "this is the most beautiful woman in the world."

There was no nervousness or anxiety, no feeling of fear in me. The only thought I had was, "I have to get to know her," it was just this peaceful, relaxing, calming feeling of confidence and bliss. Needless to say, I did not go up to her because I have nothing to offer her, I am disabled. Well, she did ask me which direction she can go (she was an out of towner) and I said, "go north," with some unknown voice of love I had never heard before. [I wrote this part later because I didn't find it relevant]

But was she the most beautiful woman in the world? You would say no. But to me at that moment, with that intensity of spiritual loving and bonding she was the most beautiful woman in the world. It wasn't about looks, I felt her spirit before I got to see her; it was just this intense, spiritual bond.

Trust me, romantic love was purely theoretical to me before this experience. Now that I have experienced it I know it, I feel and I still feel it to this very day. If I am more relaxed on hear is because I experienced true love, the spiritual feeling of. It exists, it is the most blissful feeling in the world and once you feel it remains with you for the rest of your life.

So what, if all the world religions are wrong and, yes, there is this weird guy lingering here called by Christians Satan....but no matter what he tries to convince you otherwise, there is a True God out there that loves us and every soul will one day be in his presence, shake hands with him.

I just wish I could do more to get souls to this sanctuary before I pass on. The spiritual feeling of intense, relaxing love is something you can never get over; I imagine the intensity of Love God has for us is even greater than this one experience.