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08-08-2014, 06:12 AM
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Master
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Purgatory
Posts: 2,467
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how do you cope with Rejection?
We have all been there before. How do deal with the object of your affection doesn't want you. ?
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08-08-2014, 06:46 AM
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Experiencer
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 477
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Realize it's not meant to be. They have their own issues to deal with in life. There are so many reasons for them to reject you that have nothing to do with you at all. It's not you, it's them!
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08-08-2014, 07:07 AM
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Master
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Australia
Posts: 22,132
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With some difficulty.
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Radiate boundless love towards the entire world ~ Buddha
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08-08-2014, 07:21 AM
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Ascender
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 783
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i figured the reason why being rejected hurts, because it mirrors the way we reject ourselves. sometimes we do that by choosing the wrong person over the right one because we are rejecting something in us that makes us believe this person is better off without us.
being rejected hurts yes, but after a while, it was that same rejection that made me learn to love myself, not so he would love me now that i love myslef, but because i have fallen in love with who i am that needing an external validation from another person is not needed.
of course expressions of love from another are still very much appreciated but if they dont love me, all is well, i still love myself. and it is this love that needs no form of validation. i somehow find that when we seek other people to love us it is because we feel like something is lacking inside. and usually what we feel is lacking only we ourselves can fill in.
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 "Three things cannot be long hidden, the Sun, the Moon and the Truth. " - Buddha 
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08-08-2014, 08:42 AM
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Deactivated Account
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,748
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I brush it off. It's not as much of a problem to me anymore as it used to be.
Love your post Renessme, very well described.
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08-08-2014, 12:11 PM
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Master
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Central Ohio
Posts: 1,016
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Recognize that someone who does not value you is not worthy of your attention.
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08-08-2014, 12:52 PM
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Master
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Lowell, Massachusetts
Posts: 4,129
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Hi,
You could grateful with a sincere inner 'thank you'.
Relationships where the mutual interest is not present can be a big waste of time and energy.
John
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08-08-2014, 07:50 PM
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Experiencer
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 379
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When someone rejects us, it is not because we are bad or they are unappreciative of our love.
I think rejection hurts, when we have some underlying beliefs, such as " I am not good enough, if he(she) rejected me", " I am not able to manifest falling in love with someone, who will love me back (aka -I am a lousy manifester), etc.
We can try to find those beliefs, and then question them (Katie Byron has a great method to do that), and then replace them with new beliefs "I am good enough" , "I am manifesting better every day", etc, by using them as an affirmation the whole day as a mental loop. I think it takes 1-3 months to install new belief, if you use this intensive method.
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08-08-2014, 07:54 PM
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Experiencer
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 379
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Renessme
of course expressions of love from another are still very much appreciated but if they dont love me, all is well, i still love myself. and it is this love that needs no form of validation. i somehow find that when we seek other people to love us it is because we feel like something is lacking inside. and usually what we feel is lacking only we ourselves can fill in.
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Yes! Exactly. The most important skill, that we can learn is to love ourselves and to focus on things we want(not the ones we don't.) |
08-08-2014, 09:41 PM
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Master
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Purgatory
Posts: 2,467
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Renessme
i figured the reason why being rejected hurts, because it mirrors the way we reject ourselves. sometimes we do that by choosing the wrong person over the right one because we are rejecting something in us that makes us believe this person is better off without us.
being rejected hurts yes, but after a while, it was that same rejection that made me learn to love myself, not so he would love me now that i love myslef, but because i have fallen in love with who i am that needing an external validation from another person is not needed.
of course expressions of love from another are still very much appreciated but if they dont love me, all is well, i still love myself. and it is this love that needs no form of validation. i somehow find that when we seek other people to love us it is because we feel like something is lacking inside. and usually what we feel is lacking only we ourselves can fill in.
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@ resenessme that was beautiful. I
do need to love myself more and I don't.
@ R
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