i'm scared about my next life...

i have really bad self esteem issues in this life n wear makeup constantly which makes me feel better,, but now i think everyone thinks i'm fake,, and i'm scared that i'm going to be ugly in my next life,, and if i'm worse looking than i am now,, i know i will be unhappy in my next life,, because my appearance means alot too me,, ive always wanted too be naturally beautiful and because i'm not it affects my relationships really bad and my happiness.. And every aspect of my life actually,, is there a way of controlling what i'm going too look like or will i just have too wait and see?? Also i'm scared i'll be born into a poor family (into a life of violence and crime and benefits) which is what i was born into this life. I would love too be born into a hard working loving family,, who will help my too achieve my dreams and reprogramme me into a strong, independant, stable, disciplined, hard working person...xxx

[figaromelting]

Originally Posted by Tiffanyy

i'm scared that i'm going to be ugly in my next life

Focus on THIS life NOW. Don't focus on things that are completely out of your control. Focus on loving who you are, no matter how you look, the more you love who you are and accept yourself as being imperfectly perfect, the more you will see that things you see as problems are not problems at all. What people think of you is none of your business. Focus on your life purpose and creating a happy, peaceful and joyful life for you and those around you and don't be negative, be the change you want to see!! Live in the NOW always or you may just miss out on the beauty around you.

[Samana]

Originally Posted by Tiffanyy

i have really bad self esteem issues in this life n wear makeup constantly which makes me feel better,, but now i think everyone thinks i'm fake,, and i'm scared that i'm going to be ugly in my next life,, and if i'm worse looking than i am now,, i know i will be unhappy in my next life,, because my appearance means alot too me,, ive always wanted too be naturally beautiful and because i'm not it affects my relationships really bad and my happiness.. And every aspect of my life actually,, is there a way of controlling what i'm going too look like or will i just have too wait and see?? Also i'm scared i'll be born into a poor family (into a life of violence and crime and benefits) which is what i was born into this life. I would love too be born into a hard working loving family,, who will help my too achieve my dreams and reprogramme me into a strong, independant, stable, disciplined, hard working person...xxx

Hi Tiffany,

My suggestion would be for you to focus on the here and now and to investigate Samatha meditation (samatha=tranquility/calm abiding) If you meditate regularly, your mind will gradually become more peaceful and have less worries.

Check out local Buddhist groups to see if one has a weekly meditation class that you can go to.

with best wishes

S.

Originally Posted by Tiffanyy

i have really bad self esteem issues in this life n wear makeup constantly which makes me feel better,, but now i think everyone thinks i'm fake,, and i'm scared that i'm going to be ugly in my next life,, and if i'm worse looking than i am now,, i know i will be unhappy in my next life,, because my appearance means alot too me,, ive always wanted too be naturally beautiful and because i'm not it affects my relationships really bad and my happiness..

It's a great start that you are aware of this issue and that the actions you've been taking to try to control it are excessive!

Let me ask a few questions for you to think about that might help you sort out your feelings.

--What is so bad about being ugly? What will happen if you are truly ugly? (What's the worst thing that could happen, the worst thing you are afraid of?)
--What makes you think you are not beautiful? How are you defining beauty, and how are you not living up to your definition?

Often, we find that our expectations of ourselves do not match up to others' expectations at all. It turns out that what we are obsessing about as a failure on our part is something that no one else even notices! And remember that everyone has some issues with themselves; no one thinks they are perfect! (I struggle with these issues too, so trust me I know how it feels!)

Is it possible you are dealing with Body Dysmorphia?

And every aspect of my life actually,, is there a way of controlling what i'm going too look like or will i just have too wait and see?? Also i'm scared i'll be born into a poor family (into a life of violence and crime and benefits) which is what i was born into this life. I would love too be born into a hard working loving family,, who will help my too achieve my dreams and reprogramme me into a strong, independant, stable, disciplined, hard working person...xxx

The important thing is for you to feel empowered in this life. Empowerment is something you take back for yourself. It isn't something given to you by a hard-working family, a different budget, a different appearance, a different life. A new life isn't a chance to escape your problems. It's just you facing those same problems in a different way. You'll never escape low self esteem by having a different body, because your body isn't the problem. It never was.

So try, if you can, to sit down with yourself and get to the root of your discomforts with yourself. Maybe even explore your past lives if you can to see if this issue stems from a past life event (wherein, say, your appearance had a certain effect on your life or you carry a wound regarding your appearance that is manifesting out of context now as low self-esteem).

I think it is time to redefine beauty and stop excluding yourself from it. :)

[Dragonfly1]

Originally Posted by Tiffanyy

i have really bad self esteem issues in this life n wear makeup constantly which makes me feel better,, but now i think everyone thinks i'm fake,, and i'm scared that i'm going to be ugly in my next life,, and if i'm worse looking than i am now,, i know i will be unhappy in my next life,, because my appearance means alot too me,, ive always wanted too be naturally beautiful and because i'm not it affects my relationships really bad and my happiness.. And every aspect of my life actually,, is there a way of controlling what i'm going too look like or will i just have too wait and see?? Also i'm scared i'll be born into a poor family (into a life of violence and crime and benefits) which is what i was born into this life. I would love too be born into a hard working loving family,, who will help my too achieve my dreams and reprogramme me into a strong, independant, stable, disciplined, hard working person...xxx

Aww, tiffanyy......you as a being of light, chose this existence before you were born, you have chosen as you have for the experience of living this lifetime and all the trials and good things that come from it.....Don't be afraid, when its time for you to go back home, you wont feel the same as you do now.....learn to love who you are, what others think of you and your looks is irrelevant...as they too have their own crosses to bear in some way...live your life for yourself, i know it isn't easy when you are young (well im assuming you are young)....we all have to go through these things.....as time advances, you will start to see life in a different way...and hopefully perhaps you will start to see your own beauty shine.....we are all children of the universe, loved equally and we are perfection, we just have to learn to realise this........take heart, you chose this lifetime and your body for a specific reason.......even if you can't remember or don't believe this, its truth....many many blessings to you xx

[alamode]

We have free will to choose which bodies to incarnate into and we choose our parents so we actually choose our lives.

[Emvee]

(Hugs)
Tiffany I feel for you. I'm very insecure about my looks too... Sometimes I wonder: why didn't I get my moms looks? why did she have to marry a not so good looking guy (shallow I know). But like others have said I believe we chose our lives before we were born, because we have certain lessons to learn.
I'm currently going through this low self esteem phase too. It's hard when you're young, physical appearance seems to be so important. But I believe that we are meant to learn lessons about self love. I believe that what we see as a curse in our lives can sometimes be a blessing in disguise for some crazy reason. Like they say 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Don't you worry about your future lives...All that counts is now. What's the use of living if all you do is worry about your future lives. Life will pass you by & boom! Before you know it, it's gone. So enjoy this crazy, wild and at times difficult ride called life.

[Rena]

Tiffany, I also am afraid of what is gonna happen in my next life.
I'm not thinking about appearance or anything....
it's just that i worry about my next life being bad like this one.... lol
or being worse than this life!!!
Life is hard!

[Lucid68]

Awww I'm sure you'll be as attractive in your next life :)

[Tobi]

Originally Posted by Tiffanyy

i have really bad self esteem issues in this life n wear makeup constantly which makes me feel better,, but now i think everyone thinks i'm fake,, and i'm scared that i'm going to be ugly in my next life,, and if i'm worse looking than i am now,, i know i will be unhappy in my next life,, because my appearance means alot too me,, ive always wanted too be naturally beautiful and because i'm not it affects my relationships really bad and my happiness.. And every aspect of my life actually,, is there a way of controlling what i'm going too look like or will i just have too wait and see?? Also i'm scared i'll be born into a poor family (into a life of violence and crime and benefits) which is what i was born into this life. I would love too be born into a hard working loving family,, who will help my too achieve my dreams and reprogramme me into a strong, independant, stable, disciplined, hard working person...xxx

Tiffanyy, don't be scared. Do your own thing. If you want to be creative with your face and wear make up just do it, and don't bother about what people think or say. Go for it. It's your style.
But one night when you wash it all off, please take a look in the mirror, and you will probably see something that's beautiful....the colour of your eyes?.. The nice skin?....the shape of your eyebrows?....I don't know but there will be something. Try to find it, and when you do, give yourself a lovely secret smile.

Then look at yourself with the eyes of your Heart. Imagine you are a kind Spirit-guide who sees the heart inside you and sees great value in that.
Then realize that your next incarnation will be based on inner things, things which are learned in this life, and in the next world, after your "death". It will depend on what your Soul most needs to grow and develop, and you most likely -by the end of your Earth-life- won't even have the same needs you have right now. We are living, changing Beings, every breath we take.
Blessings