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Hello My name is Lewis and I am new and I'm just now discovering I am a twin flame and I want to tell my story and have an outlet to talk about this. Please review my story and offer any insight you can. Also
Feel free to reach out to me on Facebook Lewis Zyaire King Deans On facebook. Thanks
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Warning: Me and the Twin flame are of the same sex
A quick background I was born and raised in Philadelphia Pa in the usa. I moved to Burlington Vermont because I was a victim of crime and my mom wanted us to get out of the environment we were in. 3 years later We decided to randomly move to Alaska because the smallness of Vermont was getting to us. Me and my mom moved to Alaska in 2005. In 2006 I began meeting with Mormon missionaries and I eventually got baptized and became a member. In 2007 I got my own apartment and continued meeting with the missionaries and because they send them to different areas new missionaries would come and teach. This was my first contact with LEE (that is not his real name) but LEE was different from other missionaries his conviction and understanding of the word were inspiring. It was hard to believe he was so young and not starting his own church. Whenever we would meet we sat close to each other and it felt like time stood still and the other companion disappeared even though we were still doing our lessons. I didn’t know how to interpret this but I knew it felt great. I am attracted to men and consider myself bisexual with a leaning to men but later discovered I was really demisexual. But at this point in time, I just knew I liked men and felt this was the main reason I felt the way I did . Because we held most of our meetings at my apartment My mom never met LEE. Until one day me and my mom were shopping in a store and me and LEE saw each other and immediately ran to embrace each other, My mom was kinda dumbfounded and suspicious of how excited I was about this male. They met and talked and she was very receptive to him ….for a moment it felt like a family reunion. After he left I explained who he was…. Later that year there was a conference for young single adults in a nearby city . I went and there was a eat and dance thing going on and LEE was there again I ran to him him and we embraced. As we talked I walked with him and held his hand palms interlocked as if we were a couple and I didn’t care who saw or how it looked it felt right. I got his email info and that was the last time I seen him… I emailed him and it was a church email created for his mission. And told him that I miss him and that I fell off a bit with going to church . He expressed that he loves me and wants me to continue going to build on my relationship with god. I told him I love him so much and that that’s what im going to do ….few months go by I email him again to see if he will be able to visit once his mission ends and he told me He will try but he loves me and to keep on the right path . So a couple months go by and I haven’t heard anything I called the church to see if there was any forwarding information and they did have an address but it was a church address in his hometown of Tonga. Lee is from Vavau Tonga and is Polynesian or Tongan. I was sad that everytime I tried to research him or get more information it was a dead end and the church wasn’t really interested once he returned……so I had to move on the only thing I had was our brief emails and the memories of our meetings and the bliss I felt at that conference holding his hand……….So years later once Facebook really takes off I search for him again nothing I search for just his last name and a profile of him and his wife and they said they were in Alaska …..I was confused I felt omg hes been here the whole time ? I requested to be added a friend and explained who I was in messenger but no response I took that as flat out rejection and not wanting to communicate with me. So my mom passes in 2015 and I feel alone and empty and im an emotional ticking timebomb…..I declared that it was too much hurt here in Alaska and that I wanted to go back to Vermont. I had two jobs that was allowing me to save for that move but in December 2017 I was wrongfully terminated from my part time job while I was out sick and laid off of my full time job .. I was devastated and depressed and my plans for moving to vermont were ruined. I did get a severance pay of a couple thousand dollars and I used that as a downpayment on a new car that I would use to uber and lyft while I find a new job after ubering and lyfting for 2 months I did get job offer with wells fargo as a teller. Which while I was greatfull for
the job my bills were structured for the seven dollars more I was making at the last job in addition to the part time.
I felt numb, stuck and going thru the motions I started my job Feb 2018 and by late march there was internal listing for a position in Barrow Alaska that provided a 96 percent pay differential with $2500 relocation bonus and subsidized housing. I felt that was the answer I ve been looking I still get to move and make more money closer to what I was making before and have the chance to save. Everyone had negative things to say about this venture that I wanted the prices. the cold the, remoteness. But at this point in my life it was sounding good to me. My manager was supportive and it was greenlit for me to make the move.
I get the position and made the transition
I started in may and in late July LEE walks into the branch with a woman and a child
The world just stopped and I couldn’t stop staring at him but I honestly did not recognize him he was bigger than I remembered and (I was too ) and a lot of guys that look like him come thru the bank but he had me transfixed… he seemed sad and lost. I managed to say hi to him in passing and we both looked at each other but couldn’t place what was going on. I just smiled and said hi…
It wasn’t until he went to the teller next to me and the teller said his name out aloud and I lost it THAT’S HIM I said I thought that was you I remember that name I said you were a missionary in anchorage right? He says omg I Remember you now you’re here? It was terrible because I wanted to jump across that teller line and hug him but I was in the middle of a transaction with a customer and I had to contain myself and focus on them Said it was good seeing you and he left
I felt so relieved in that moment I had a smile on my face the rest of the day
I went into his profile and got his numbers and current email and I reached out to him on fb again
Him and his wife share a profile and she responded first then when he got the message he responded and we were catching up and I was explaining everything to him of how I got here .... his wifes sister works at the bank as well and I didn’t make the connection until then …. ….the reason why I did not see him right away when I arrived here was because his father passed and he was in tonga for his fathers homegoing when I started at the new branch .I tell him about my moms passing and hes the only one who actually remembers my mom so my coworker told me that he works out at the gym…….so I started going to the gym to see him………….he eventually asks me to come back to church …I start going to church as well again eventho my original goal was to not get to enmeshed in the community I loved seeing him and being close to him I felt complete and loved I was honored he embraced me and let me feel apart of his family and inlaws even though he hasn’t been able to provide a solid reason as to why he wants me in his life in this way outside that he used to teach me when he was a missionary.
Whats started me on the path to twin flames was initially buddist chanting and learning more about the practice and learning about karma and the universe. I chanted to center myself around getting this job.
Seeing Lee here made me know there was a divine purpose for everything and I started planning my life with him in it. I want to add him as the beneficiary to my insurance plans. I want to buy a house and put his name on it and he wants me to buy a house in tonga as well and help him with his business venture there. I stopped and wondered what this was why do I feel this way? Why is this bond so strong and resonant and deep and I kept digging and discovered the twin flames literature. I know ive gone ten years without seeing him but now that I ve reconnected I feel complete and I cant see my self living without him again. I feel so much peace knowing hes near. He even said I need to come to Tonga so we can be together and he started stammering like he didn’t mean to say it and I stopped him and said I know what he means…
Most recently we were on semi bad terms because one day after the gym he gave me a ride home and we sat in his car just talking and there was a lot of unspoken sexual tension. We were both aroused and trying to hide it and talk around it. After that happened he pushed me away and avoided giving me a ride home again and started hanging out with another returned missionary (we will call him Jack) a lot more and then he tried to include me on him and jacks activities..and I didn’t like it so I tried devising a plan to get closer to jack and break up their friendship but it kinda blew up in my face Lee always made sure it didn’t happen in various ways. Then Lee started using Jack to check on me and report back to him and it seemed very disingenuous that Jack would only contact me to report to him ..This made me mad…but what kinda spiraled things a bit out of control was . Jack had some performance pills I wanted to try and I went to the gym to pick them up from him and I walked in gave jack a hug and Lee came over to us and I attempted to give him a hug as well and he stopped me and just shook my hand, This made me furious I always hug him when I see him and even give the bro hug sometimes when we need to keep up our manly exteriors and him stopping me from hugging him sent the message to me that he feels whoever was around was going to misinterpret it and he wasn’t feeling that fond of me to hug me in the moment. I got the pills from Jack and left without saying a word to Lee. Again, Lees wife’s sister is my coworker at the bank I work at. So they came to pick her up from work and made me come with them for a ride home . I was still mad at LEE and was very cold to him he invited me to thanksgiving dinner and said he will pick me up . I told him a couple other ppul invited me to theirs and I will make an appearance and come to LEEs family thanksgiving later. The Thanksgiving came and I went to other ppuls house as planned and it was kind of a disaster…and I went home and laid down and then got back up to finish the thanksgiving with Lees family. I text Lee I will be there and I show up and I was knocking on the door for 20 minutes in subzero temps…Lees mother in law finally answered the door and when I walked in Lee is sitting in the garage with a few other guys drinking kava. I was very upset as I just texted him I was on my way and they clearly heard me knocking all that time . So I made a plate and sat down and then decided to join the guys drinking kava. Me and LEE did not say hi to each other or acknowledge each other. I sat and talked to the other guys as if he wasn’t there…..then after about an hour Lee asks me when am I going home? I asked him was he kicking me out and he said no. I told him not to worry about when Im going home …after about 20 more minutes I called a cab and left I said goodbye to the other guys and shook their hands but ignored Lee. I went home angry and upset thinking why is he treating me like this. And I made a random post on FB basically saying that I show only one face but he has many and I cant keep up with them . I also said that I wont be celebrating Thanksgiving any more .
He texted me on fb a couple days later asking me am I okay and I told him yes and asked him when he was leaving for Tonga again (hes going to tonga to start a business and will be back and forth) He told me eversince I had the pills from Jack hes noticed a change. I told him the pills are working fine I like the pills and he wanted me to stop taking them …I told him Iam going to miss him and Im losing my best friend. He told me Im not his friend I am his family and I told him I feel the same about him.
The time has come for him to leave and I meet him at the airport we have another akward sexual tension moment but his wife and family is there but this time we just kept touching each other and in this moment all of that other stuff did not matter. I told him no matter what pill I take it will never make stop loving and caring about you. He said I feel the same and not to refer to us as friends because we are more than that. He said he saw my post too and not to feel that way…. I said okay and we hugged and he left……..
Hes gone and I felt like apart of me was missing and it is very depressing, just seeing him and feeling him close by gave me comfort. Ive never experienced a love like this before
When he arrived in Tonga I asked him to Video chat with me . Due to him and his wife sharing the social media our conversations show up on both of their devices and sometimes she even responds as him which I hate but she couldn’t see our video chat. I told him I am coming to Tonga in February and he said no don’t come just yet hes not ready. I agreed I would wait but when I went back to review the time I would have off from work and my allotted time off , February was the only open availability until 2020.
So I booked my trip anyway and used my vacation time to go to Tonga. Hes been telling me all along about how beautiful and how nice it is but he leaves to go there and when I want to go he says hes not ready its kind of suspicious and he left his family at the worst time. It’s the coldest and darkest time of the year….. My instincts tell me hes running and needs some time to think. Hes coming back in march I want to go see him in Tonga and tell him how I feel without the family wife and kid being around or other friends Just me and him….I am nervous he wont even want to see me when I arrive
But I dream about him sometimes and he usually contacts me soon after I have the dream that’s so crazy
Guys please tell me what do you think of this twin flame story and any advice on how to proceed.
Thanks you
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