Difficulty with Listening to my thoughts

Hi I am new here.

Many years ago I read Eckhart Tolle's books on finding the present moment and listening to your thoughts. It's this last part I wanted to ask about. At the time I was going through some terrible experiences and finding the power of now only made them worse. I couldn't listen to my thoughts and I ended up blocking out my thoughts.

These days I can't really think properly at all and feel terrible a lot of the time. Things are better than they were but I still ocassionally try to meditate and listen to my mind and see if I can do it. Usually when I do this I am successful the first time and feel elated. Then subsequent attempts on different days rended my attempts at this meditation useless. What's going on? Please could someone shed light on what's happening? I really need help on this.

Even more importantly, what are your views on listening to your mind? Is it a healthy and good practice or a dangerous ocult practice!?

I think it is good to have an "inner listener" but it has to be non-judgemental. I don't think it is a dangerous "occult practice", why would it be? They're your thoughts after all.

The "inner listener" is just the start. We listen to hear how our mind insists on taking control and stops us being quiet. Our mind doesn't like silence so it fills it. Once you see this happening you can let see how most of the thoughts are pointless and let them go. It's between the thoughts that the meditation happens.

I think you will find that to get long silences where your mind is truly quiet takes a LOT of practice. From my experience, and from what I have read it can be months before that silence lasts any length of time. For the rest of the time you are simply watching your mind doing laps, bouncing up and down shouting "listen to meeeeee"

How long did you try to meditate for? They do say, for the first while only try to do it for 5 mins so as to not push yourself too hard and feel that you have failed.

Personally I prefer to do visualisations rather than no-mind style meditation, maybe you could try that instead?

[Xan]

Fenweruha... Listening to your thoughts isn't the actual teaching from Tolle and others... it's stepping back and becoming the neutral witness of the fact that you are thinking.

Besides, there are many other methods he recommends for learning to be in the Now that might suit your better. Tolle's little book, "Practicing the Power of Now" is a treasure house.


Xan

[Gem]

Originally Posted by Fenweruha

Hi I am new here.

Many years ago I read Eckhart Tolle's books on finding the present moment and listening to your thoughts. It's this last part I wanted to ask about. At the time I was going through some terrible experiences and finding the power of now only made them worse. I couldn't listen to my thoughts and I ended up blocking out my thoughts.

These days I can't really think properly at all and feel terrible a lot of the time. Things are better than they were but I still ocassionally try to meditate and listen to my mind and see if I can do it. Usually when I do this I am successful the first time and feel elated. Then subsequent attempts on different days rended my attempts at this meditation useless. What's going on? Please could someone shed light on what's happening? I really need help on this.

Even more importantly, what are your views on listening to your mind? Is it a healthy and good practice or a dangerous ocult practice!?

Thoughts and emotions and feelings come up, but 'you' make no reaction to them. Never crave for wonderful and never be adverse to hard feelings... being quiet is not reacting.

[Xan]

This is so, Gem.

For the benefit of others who may not know, it's also not trying not to react because that's just a struggle against feelings... inner conflict rather than accepting it all, which frees us from conflict.

Instead of avoiding reactivity we find the quiet space in ourselves where reactions just don't happen.


Xan

Thanks for all the answers so far.

Originally Posted by tilia

I think it is good to have an "inner listener" but it has to be non-judgemental. I don't think it is a dangerous "occult practice", why would it be? They're your thoughts after all.

The "inner listener" is just the start. We listen to hear how our mind insists on taking control and stops us being quiet. Our mind doesn't like silence so it fills it. Once you see this happening you can let see how most of the thoughts are pointless and let them go. It's between the thoughts that the meditation happens.

I think you will find that to get long silences where your mind is truly quiet takes a LOT of practice. From my experience, and from what I have read it can be months before that silence lasts any length of time. For the rest of the time you are simply watching your mind doing laps, bouncing up and down shouting "listen to meeeeee"

How long did you try to meditate for? They do say, for the first while only try to do it for 5 mins so as to not push yourself too hard and feel that you have failed.

Personally I prefer to do visualisations rather than no-mind style meditation, maybe you could try that instead?

What I struggle with so far is knowing what is and isn't a thought. Sometimes it's like I'm trying to listen to a bit of me because I don't know where the thoughts begin and end. Trying to do that results in some sort of psychotic terror where I feel like killing myself. I contemplate (and have) turned my back on the whole thing because it's so awful I'd do anything just to feel right again.

[Xan]

Fenruwha... I think you're misunderstanding Tolle's teaching. It's just about being present and aware with whatever you're experiencing... thought or no thought.


Xan

Originally Posted by Xan

Fenruwha... I think you're misunderstanding Tolle's teaching. It's just about being present and aware with whatever you're experiencing... thought or no thought.


Xan

How can I be aware of it if then I need to be aware of the awareness and then be aware of the awareness of the awareness? You see my problem with this? I just get into an infinite loop..

[Xan]

Yes, you get into the endless loop of the mind when your aim is to experience the Now beyond the mind. How frustrating!

But you don't need to do all that complexity in your mind... in fact being present is very simple.

Try this:

* Take a step back from what you've been doing in your mind by focusing your attention in your breathing... down in your belly.

* Keep breathing and notice how your thinking begins to slow down.

* Then, whatever feelings and thoughts come and go just accept and allow and let go of each one, as you consciously breathe.

As you do this you are being present.

At some point you spontaneously will notice that you are aware, but it comes without trying.


I saw a Tolle video the other day where he begins with this teaching --- with conscious breathing you bring yourself into the present --- and it's in his books too.


Xan

[Vashtia]

I understand where you're coming from, Fenweruha. I tried to meditate that way and felt like a failure so I quit trying. Years later I accidentally discovered that playing my flute put me in the zone - the here and now - a place of peace.

It's kind'ave like visualization but I don't initiate the visuals. The music just transports me through these enlightening mindscapes.