I think I messed up

[OnceInALifeTime]

About two years ago, I moved to a new city/country to start my first job after college. After a few days, I noticed someone at lunch break. He was a local working in a different department. He caught my attention and I did his since he came up to me to talk. We would often bicker, but come back around. After 6 months, he quit and I never saw him after that. We remained friends on FB but no interaction.

Fast forward, last year I ended up moving to another country, where I studied in college, three hours away by plan from where I was. A few months later, he ended up moving to the same city for graduate school. I was shocked. I never forgot about him and had actually been thinking about him a lot.

I had removed him from my friends and one day, I get a message on FB saying 'X accepted your request'. I had never sent him a friend request! This was odd. I do not remember sending him anything.

Anyway, we started talking everyday, all day. Our first date was amazing. The second one, we had a fight and he walked out on me. Then, he got in touch three weeks later with an apology. I was still mad/hurt, but I agreed to see him.

We saw each other. He tried to kiss me and I froze. I was still hurt and was not feeling it. I explained to him I was nervous/wanted to take it slow. He understood, and said we'd see each other when he gets back from holidays.

He went home for a month and a half. I didn't hear from him once! I reached out to him, he replied right away but ended the convo after I replied.

He hasn't contact me since. I understand he lost interest when I turned him down, I would have. The thing is despite his issues, I still care and I'm not sure how to proceed.

He's three years younger and inexperienced with women (a lot of rejections + low self esteem), so my rejection didn't help as he knows I have options (which I have no interest in).


What should I do? I really do care about him.

keep in touch as best you can. If he doesn't respond you may have to move on. Two years is a long time with little to show for it - a couple of nice dates, a couple of fights.

Would you consider yourself assertive? Asking whether that's why he "walked off".

Anyway, life is too short. Best to move on unless you can get something amicable going soon. Do you think it would work as a friendship? Do you think he has someone else on the go?

...

[jimrich]

Originally Posted by OnceInALifeTime

What should I do? I really do care about him.

I'd read a couple of relationship books or google: relationship skills and LEARN HOW to to make one work.

[OnceInALifeTime]

Hum, thanks but this issue is now sorted.

[Claireanneh]

Sounds to me like you are interested in having him on hold until you really get attracted to him. I think that he doesn't see it as a fair deal.