Mr. Kebab and Memories of the Phase State

29/04/2011:

I woke up at 7.10am and used the toilet. I went back to bed a few minutes later and decided to induce an OOBE. Separation involved the simple movement of sitting up and getting out of bed. Vision was fuzzy as though I had sheets of cellophane over my eyes. I looked back at the bed and could make out Stacey’s sleeping body but mine was missing. For a moment there I thought I had simply got out of bed in the waking state and that perhaps my eyes were a bit wet but I noticed that nothing happened when I rubbed them and I knew then that I was in the phase state. I went through the window like a ghost in order to see what was outside. The sky was white and the landscape, which resembled the area I live in, shimmered. A fear of getting lost in that shimmering scenery and waking up caused me to go back in the house through the front door but I didn’t go through it, I pushed it open instead. I glided into the living room where I found a quasi-Stacey wearing a blue nightie and we engaged in intimacy before I regained physical awareness.

I got up, used the toilet again, and went back to bed. I fell asleep and had a dream about taking a walk with my children. A starry night sky was prominent over a mountainous and dismal landscape. We walked along the edge of a tarmac road and I realised I had someone else with me whom I recognised to be a friend of mine, but, in actuality, it was a complete stranger. In the dream, I had the memory of having killed someone in my house and I was telling my dream friend all about it. He was shocked but eager to learn about details. I requested that we walk ahead of the children in order to discuss such dire deed and that he should not tell a living soul about it. We came up to a point where the road split into two and we turned right where the road led up a mountain. Suddenly the kids called me to say that we should have turned left into the other route. We all turned around and did that. The other way led to a barren plane lit by a silver moon in the horizon. Vision became tarnished and I woke up. I wonder if the dream memory of having killed someone comes from the fact that several times I've imagined what I'd do if burglars broke in my house.

I took another attempt at entering the phase state and a shift in conscious awareness was experienced before the perception of brief unconsciousness. When I came to, I was lucid on the upper deck of a doubledecker bus. I was wearing an annoying long coat which I discarded before taking off through the windscreen to fly over a sunlit village. The view was fantastic and the blue sky was intense. In my astonishment, I thought how the environment could have been imagined and how amazingly complex my mind must be. I flew over a river with a bridge, and, apart from thinking my excitement, I decided to shout it out too. I noticed I couldn’t exactly do that as my voice sounded somewhat stifled. I saw an ocean and landed at a nearby bay, by a row of shops that reminded me of my holiday in Portsmouth years ago.

I went in a kebab shop and an Asian-looking man asked me what I wanted. I told him I was dreaming, that everything around me was mine and that he could stop with that façade. My revelation seemed to cause a brief reality fluctuation, like a glitch in the dream matrix whereby the character’s face vitiated and subtly transmuted in a split second and he suddenly stood further away from me. This apparent glitch presented a brief but massive contrast against the elaborate appearance of the ambience. I felt that the time sequence there had skipped a few frames and I wondered if my claim that it was all a dream had somehow triggered it. Mr. Kebab (as I’ve dubbed him for the sake of addressing him here) was now ignoring me and doing something behind the counter. I confronted him about his evasive manner and asked him what he had to say about my claim. He gave me a wry smile and continued to go about his business. I carefully examined his face and recognised him. Suddenly the place seemed familiar too. I realised I had been there before, earlier in the night, in another dream. I told him so and he ironically remarked that I was finally coming to my senses.

He also had a story to tell, something about a problem with the management of his shop which he now felt more confident about telling me since I stopped being silly. He told me the manager was acting strange and I was allowed to trespass behind the counter where he then led me through a doorway and into a massive kitchen where others worked. Everyone was dressed up as cooks and, while they toiled away, a colossal middle-aged man that I took to be the manager, had both his arms around two females and seemed to be enjoying it. Mr. Kebab continued to mumble about the problem and I moved closer to his face and asked him to come again because I was now way more conscious than before and I couldn’t afford him to be vague. He seemed to get a little annoyed and raised his voice to state that there was something ominously wrong about the manager and his affairs. The women looked groggy as the manager dragged them by their necks. He gave us a contemptuous look as he walked past and led the women into another room where me and Mr. Kebab had time to glimpse at a group of naked women before having the door slammed in our faces. I wondered if the manager was trafficking women and turned to Mr. Kebab. “What is a dream then?”- Mr. Kebab just shook his head.

I heard what sounded like a gathering outside the shop. I remembered that the place had been desolate when I arrived and now there was a crowd of bystanders and walkers. The bay was now seemingly fraught with life. Where had they come from? There was a naked woman with an abnormal pink complexion, like a rash all over her body, standing outside the shop. She looked unwell and disorientated. She had bubbles in certain areas of her body and her partially corroded right bosom alluded to the possibility that she had been exposed to an acidic substance. She moaned, seemingly in pain, and I moved in to comfort her. Mr. Kebab walked away indifferently in the opposite direction to where his shop was. The scenery turned insipid and I phased back to physical awareness.

I felt energised and excited as I got up. I checked the time and it was 9.15am. I jotted down all I could remember in my journal and made myself a cup of tea.