Am I expecting too much?

[Wandering_Star]

When I was learning to read tarot cards, I did a lot of free readings for online acquaintances. They were short, 3-card, past-present-future readings, and if the querent wanted a more detailed reading I charged a small fee--only $5, since I was still new at it.

I didn't get thanked for most of those free readings, and even when I did they were often lackluster. I did get a few people who were appreciative and gave me positive feedback, and/or paid for a full reading, but most? Nothing.

It took me a long time to realize that the reason I wasn't getting thanks from most people was because I hadn't said anything that helped them. They looked at the results of their reading, thought, "That's it?" or "That's nonsense," or "That wasn't worth the bother, was it?" or "Yeah, whatever." They didn't feel they'd got anything out of it--so they didn't see any need to thank me. Or they didn't want to hurt my feelings for getting everything wrong, so they'd offer tepid thanks and say no more about it.

And yeah, I probably was dead wrong, a lot of the time. Or I said something the querent was already fully aware of and thought was obvious. Or the cards were all about money, while the querent was preoccupied with love. Or I talked about spiritual growth when they just wanted to hear about money. Or I didn't predict the future they wanted. Or I saw an issue they were steadfastly avoiding. Or they didn't find the reading either interesting or accurate. Or they didn't believe in this tarot cards woo-woo nonsense, and only took me up on the reading because it was free.

Whether the reason--be it my inexperience as a reader or their hopeful expectations as querents, or both--those free online readings I did for practice weren't helpful or interesting enough to them to merit a word of thanks. I'd offered them something for free--and it turned out to be useless and a disappointment.

Sure, politeness would dictate at least thanking me for my effort, but they didn't feel obligated because I had made it clear I was giving free readings in order to practice and improve. They'd given me that much; I hadn't delivered anything worthwhile; they didn't feel obligated to thank me for that. Pretty simple, really.

I kept doing the readings for a while longer, accepting the fact that I wasn't going to get thanked unless the querent felt they'd actually been helped. I did get better, but ultimately I just wasn't very good at giving people online what they wanted from a reading, so I stopped. But I did get a lot of practice in, and that improved my readings for myself and face-to-face querents immeasurably, so it wasn't wasted effort at all.

just some random thoughts that came up reading this thread.

When I pay for a reading, I often don't give feedback. I say thank you because I am in the habit of it, and I am grateful, even when I pay, for a person making their time and talent available to me.

Online, I am not as "faithful" about followup because of the time, distance, anonymity factor. I may not check in for a few days (or weeks), may not be in a position to respond. Get involved in 160 other things in my life, etc.

When I pay for a reading, I am there, at the time, with the person doing it, in a position to respond. It's in context.

I've also discovered that some people who offer free readings (not unlike those that request them) REALLY don't want anything less that positive feedback.

And I don't feel like dealing with their blowback. If someone hit the nail on the head it's easy to say "thanks! you were right!"

When the reading they give me seems to not have anything to do with me...I've told some people that and they start telling me that I'm too skeptical, or that maybe it was actually for my aunt as they saw a ball of energy off to the right, etc etc...rather than accepting that none of what they said made any sense to me. So...there have been times I've been silent because I don't have the time and energy to soothe someone's ego.

I do readings and I totally understand liking feedback and a thank you. I have never done readings for pay (not gotten to that point yet), so I am not sure how it would be different if someone was paying...

For me, If I pay, I don't "owe" the reader anything else

[blackraven]

I'm big on a "Thank You" even if it's a quick one, those two words mean a lot to the giver. This summer I sent a lot of monetary gifts out for weddings and graduations. One person never cashed the check, not sure why, or sent a "Thank You" and another one cashed the check immediately and also never sent a "Thank You". For those who did, regardless to how long it took them to send it in the mail, it meant a great deal to me. It's just that simple acknowledgement that makes all the difference whether it's thanking the cashier in the grocery store, for a gift or a service such as a reading. I believe in this hustle bustle quick communicating world of texting and tweeting, people have lost the art of writing down a note and sending a "Thank You" card in the mail. When someone does take the time to do that, it tells me they have appreciation and aren't just taking things for granted. Even so, how much time does it take to text or type back online a quick "Thank You"?

Blackraven

[wanchain]

Hi Puggy,

My first impression is that perhaps you have not made a deep enough connection with the querent, to know what exactly they need. It may also be that they themselves are not sure what they were looking for, hence you would not be able to satisfy them with your readings.

I agree with Wandering_Star, that unless the reading is truly helpful to the querent, they cannot really appreciate it.

I also agree with OftheSun, that I do not feel comfortable giving feedback if it is not a positive one. In fact, I was debating whether to tell my channeler that I found some of the things she said quite revolting. But really, what's the point? Honestly, I don't know if I should give her this feedback, and if so, how should I deliver it nicely?

So I think it could be a question of relevance and quality.

W.

[froebellian]

Originally Posted by blackraven

I'm big on a "Thank You" even if it's a quick one, those two words mean a lot to the giver. This summer I sent a lot of monetary gifts out for weddings and graduations. One person never cashed the check, not sure why, or sent a "Thank You" and another one cashed the check immediately and also never sent a "Thank You". For those who did, regardless to how long it took them to send it in the mail, it meant a great deal to me. It's just that simple acknowledgement that makes all the difference whether it's thanking the cashier in the grocery store, for a gift or a service such as a reading. I believe in this hustle bustle quick communicating world of texting and tweeting, people have lost the art of writing down a note and sending a "Thank You" card in the mail. When someone does take the time to do that, it tells me they have appreciation and aren't just taking things for granted. Even so, how much time does it take to text or type back online a quick "Thank You"?

Blackraven

I agree so much, it is the thought that counts. Even to send a quick text is polite and shows consideration for others. It sends out positive vibrations and it counts!

Addressing the other points in the thread, I am a little perturbed that some may consider a free reading as only wanting positive feedback. Not necessarily, it maybe that the reader saw something and it was too sensitive to bring up, but would make sense when there was feedback.

When I pay a reader, I always say thank you. Only one has been off the mark and I still thanked her.
Let me tell you why you should say 'Thank you' even if you did feel you go the answer you wanted, or it addressed something you didn't ask for. Quite simply, you are not thanking the reader, but Spirit for giving you the message.

Those who do not thank Spirit, will not get messages again until they have learned that they must listen to the good and the bad. By not 'thanking' the reader or Spirit, you are sending out negative thoughts that will prevent further messages to be received.

Readers always thank Spirit when they read, some say it out aloud and other say it quietly in their head, therefore for the respondent not to do do the same is disrespectful IMHO and maybe why they will not get Spiritual assistance they asked for?

[Gem]

Expecting more than a 'like' on face-book is expecting too much.

[002 Cents]

I dunno, I personally feel gifts are given for us to help others. I would see charging as a big no no but then again I would see promoting your ability as a big no no as well. I prefer to allow things to unfold in a purely organic nature. I understand the desire to help others but I feel it should be on a close, personal one on one level. There are tons of people out there looking for readings just for the sake of getting one and they aren't in a place where they need it. I personally prefer to conserve my energy and just allow what is meant to flow through me do so when the calling comes. Otherwise you are expending yourself largely for entertainment purposes. IMO

Also consider that once you start charging you will be limiting your help to only those who can afford it.

If you are giving unique services, and you think that you can handle the demands of those people who are taking your paid services so definitely you should do that. Everybody knows that there is nothing free in this world. Most of the people think that if somebody giving something free of cost it means he is promoting himself or he has any big mean behind it, but if you are taking money for your services then you will get a real person with lots of demands and expectations.

[froebellian]

I do give free readings, but only to people I feel need them or who I'm drawn to. The thing is you can do it in your spare time, but when they take up your time, then you have to decide what to do.

I haven't done any for a while as I wasn't able to continue my own work and those I did I offered. Most real psychics offer a donation service so people can pay what they can, so people can get readings regardless of cost. It's up to the reader's discretion.

Originally Posted by froebellian

I do give free readings, but only to people I feel need them or who I'm drawn to. The thing is you can do it in your spare time, but when they take up your time, then you have to decide what to do.

I haven't done any for a while as I wasn't able to continue my own work and those I did I offered. Most real psychics offer a donation service so people can pay what they can, so people can get readings regardless of cost. It's up to the reader's discretion.

What do you mean by REAL psychics?

They are all real to someone in their space of need...no matter what they are reading....the connection is real for those involved until it changes in need and connection.