I dont know what to do!

My husband and I have been together for 4 years! Since our last holiday in December I slowly started to question myself about the emptiness I stil feel and about my purpose here on earth and that I really should do something productive. I slowly got into finding my spiritual side and pathway. I started yoga and meditation, living healthy and mostly organic, my health improved, I started looking at mantras and so on... One after the other. My husband was quit supportive and understood, even though he never had that urge and really apart from yoga and healthy living, doesn't care about anything like religion or spirituality. But he accepted me wanting to discover all this. He in fact does know nothing about religion and also doesn't want to know anything about it religion and spirituality.
Anyway, I always was interested in Tibet as a country and I always have been a human right supporter and feel very strong about people in the world suffering. In a documentary about Tibet I saw a lot about buddhism about a month ago and even though i have known about it's existence since I am 6 or something, I Only discovered my interest now after being so involved into other spiritual practices and meditation. I am reading like a mad woman and I think it really is for me. I feel like I might have found what I looked for so long. I am keen to visit a temple in our area and I am looking to recieve teachings and I wanna learn more about Buddhism. I have a few friends from Nepal and india and they are really happy to involve me.
Now, even though it doesn't take any time away hubby has with me, he seems very unsupportive now. I am exited and try and talk with him about it all, he shows no interest. He even makes fun of me and thinks it's just a silly idea in my head. He has no idea what Buddhism is, he thinks everyone is a monk, vegetarian and gets reborn and doesn't hurt animals. That's all!
I feel like we are on so different pages at the moment and I feel happier at work then at home for the last 2 weeks. He seems full of anger and frustration and I already learned so much and I just wanna feel happy and positive. My boss admires how much positive energy I am spreading at work for the last 2 weeks. As soon as I come home I get anger and similar as return. He gets angry at me and the cat very quick. He is suprised that I dont want to have sex either. Of course I dont the way he behaves. I don't expect him to read those books or become a Buddhist. I only want him to be less ignorant and to accept me the way I am and wanna be, a better person!
I want him to listen when I talk about Tibet and what's in the news and what concerns me. All I want him to give me, is support, just like I support him with his stuff! I don't know what to do. We are not talking about anything much at the moment. Nothing meaningful at least.
Sorry about the English again!

You might want to slap me for saying this but

Give the man some sex.

I read I want in your post a lot and quicky brushed over the big bit here as to why he is so grumpy and negative.....he's not gettin laid!!! Of course there is more to life than sex but you are his wife and this whole journey you are on may be mistaken for it drawing you away from him and his needs. He might need to know you want him as passionately as you want to follow your spiritual journey and what better way to show it than to get under the covers with him.

When i got on my spiritual buzz i lost all mojo for sex. I lost my husband too(more to it than but it didnt help).
Besides you may not be 'in the mood' initially but once you allow yourself to go with it...well things will heat up.

Mega awesome by the way that you're heart is hungry and wakening up your spiritual self.

Bright Blessings

[astralsuzy]

It is good that you have new interests. About your husband you need to calmly sit down together and talk things over. You have to work it out. You cannot go on like this as it is only tearing you both apart. It is not good for both of you. Tell your husband what upsets you and try to resolve it. He may have things that make him angry about you. That is why it is very important to talk it over with him.
You may have to accept that your husband does not take your interests or ideas seriously. Think of an interest that you and your husband will both enjoy together.
My husband and I have grown apart in our interests. We still have the love for each other but over the years we have different interests. There are certain things that I will not talk about with him anymore because there is no point. He thinks it is ridiculous. He may not say it. I just have to accept that is the way it is. My husband has other good qualities and no one is perfect.
As I said you have got to communicate with your husband and work it out together. Do not let this destroy your relationship.
I do not agree with Tinks. You have to work this out before you have sex. How can you have sex if you are both angry. That would be the last thing you want.

[astralsuzy]

One more thing, having sex will not solve the problem. The problem will still be there. You have to solve the problem.

Originally Posted by Tinks

You might want to slap me for saying this but

Give the man some sex.

I read I want in your post a lot and quicky brushed over the big bit here as to why he is so grumpy and negative.....he's not gettin laid!!! Of course there is more to life than sex but you are his wife and this whole journey you are on may be mistaken for it drawing you away from him and his needs. He might need to know you want him as passionately as you want to follow your spiritual journey and what better way to show it than to get under the covers with him.

When i got on my spiritual buzz i lost all mojo for sex. I lost my husband too(more to it than but it didnt help).
Besides you may not be 'in the mood' initially but once you allow yourself to go with it...well things will heat up.

Mega awesome by the way that you're heart is hungry and wakening up your spiritual self.

Bright Blessings

I agree with this advice about sex. As wrong as it may appear, to tackle this you have to go one of two ways: sever your ties so that you can follow your path alone, or, remain with the person and do what you have to do in order to still follow your own path.

[Asrais]

Sounds like your hubby is scared you are pulling away from him. Maybe you have been so involved with your new found spirituality that you have neglected your marriage a little?

Actually I kind of agree with Tinks - I don't think you should have sex if you feel bad or mistreated, but I do think that some intimate/ romantic time together would help. Spend some time doing things you both like.
If he doesn't want to be involved in your spirituality, that's fine. My husband and I have been happily married for 6 years and together for 11, and we rarely discuss anything related to my spirituality. He accepts that I have an spiritual side, I accept that he has no interest in it.

Originally Posted by BeautifulWorld

Now, even though it doesn't take any time away hubby has with me, he seems very unsupportive now. I am exited and try and talk with him about it all, he shows no interest. He even makes fun of me and thinks it's just a silly idea in my head.

It would definitely seem that there are more concrete motivations of his that are lurking beneath the surface here, especially since there were a whole list of other things that didn't particularly interest him, but was quite accommodating in supporting your own decisions.

Is he worried about what other people might think of him or you if they knew you were a practicing Buddhist? Is he afraid that it might be something bad for you? I definitely think that it'll be necessary to seek out some honest communication to get his true thoughts and feelings out.

Write him a letter expressing exactly how he's making you feel, without judgement, and also explain in-depth all of the things that draw you to Buddhism like this. Give him the chance to express himself freely without negative reactions, and work together to arrive at something that works for both of you.

Thanks guys!
I guess I should of give more info! We are stil having sex but within our relationship it always has been the way that he is more into it then me. I am stil young and certain things I discovered are not for me, like for example swinging. Sorry for going into detail. We do have sex twice a week, even though I am not in the mood lately, as I am missing all the romantic and stuff. He on the other hand is all about it only. I don't know why, but it never has been so extreme. In the beginning we had sex every day and of course it slowed down to twice a week during the next years. He seemed fine with it for a while. Sometimes I feel like there is nothing else what's important for him though.
We never had many same interests apart from travelling. We stil do that. My path doesn't even interfere with his time. Saturdays he plays footy and I went with him all the time, he knew I never liked it, but I had nothing better to do, I was happy he was with his mates. Now I stopped going, as we moved to a more convenient area, I got my own friends and generally go to yoga and so on. Once or twice his footy got canceled but I already had plans. Can't really cancel my friends last minute.
Sundays is always our day, we exversize together, do yoga (he enjoys yoga), watch the footy, cook together or sometimes do a day trip.
Nothing there has really changed. During the week I am a bit over eating and watching tv though.
He also has children from first marriage, even though the ex and I are ok, the kids are extremly spoiled. I do understand this, but they do not listen at all and use words wich I do not like and chatting back. I love them dearly, but I think both of the parents are feeling to guilty to parent the normal way. I totally understand this though. We don't see them very often, but lately the son and I are having problems. He is making a lot of racist comments and comments against gays. I am really irritated by that, of course he isn't listening what I have to say. He is a teenager lol ...
Anyway all I am is just concerned about the way he is taking. I do try really hard but I also don't want to interfear with their parents of course. I know what its like, my parents divorced aswell.
Now this all got worse too since last Christmas and the family holiday became a disaster. Everyone was in a bad mood including my husband and the kids. I just wanted to walk away and catch the next plane home. The next holiday I did stay home for starters. So I feel I terribly fail as a stepmother! Not sure if dh thinks so too, but I do not want to spend time with his children as often. But I think it's good for him to have time with them by himself aswell. I don't mind to take out his daughter, but I am struggeling with his teenage son. He called me a spastic on the last visit. Anyway I think this might be a problem too!
Now I don't know about what he thinks about all this. He thinks I am silly I guess, as he always makes fun of everything spiritual.
He won't talk to me about what's wrong. I tried so many times. He just ignores the issues!

Hahaha I was thinking the same exact thing. It is the number 1 complaint that I hear guys that I know talk about.

Originally Posted by Tinks

You might want to slap me for saying this but

Give the man some sex.

I read I want in your post a lot and quicky brushed over the big bit here as to why he is so grumpy and negative.....he's not gettin laid!!! Of course there is more to life than sex but you are his wife and this whole journey you are on may be mistaken for it drawing you away from him and his needs. He might need to know you want him as passionately as you want to follow your spiritual journey and what better way to show it than to get under the covers with him.

When i got on my spiritual buzz i lost all mojo for sex. I lost my husband too(more to it than but it didnt help).
Besides you may not be 'in the mood' initially but once you allow yourself to go with it...well things will heat up.

Mega awesome by the way that you're heart is hungry and wakening up your spiritual self.

Bright Blessings

While I do agree with the sex thing. Give him more, but be more expressive in what you want sexually. Tell him that making fun of you is not doing a good job of turning you on though.

On the other hand, I'd say, also tell him that you accept him for who he is and what he chooses to do, he needs to accept you for what you choose to do. He may also be uncomfortable with the fact that you've become pretty immersed in this new thing and it could be bothering him. Ask him how he really feels.

They say that women are a pain in the *** but at least we say what is on our minds. Men either avoid subjects altogether or they do a poor job of expressing themselves leaving us to go crazy trying to figure out what the heck the deal really is.

Originally Posted by BeautifulWorld

My husband and I have been together for 4 years! Since our last holiday in December I slowly started to question myself about the emptiness I stil feel and about my purpose here on earth and that I really should do something productive. I slowly got into finding my spiritual side and pathway. I started yoga and meditation, living healthy and mostly organic, my health improved, I started looking at mantras and so on... One after the other. My husband was quit supportive and understood, even though he never had that urge and really apart from yoga and healthy living, doesn't care about anything like religion or spirituality. But he accepted me wanting to discover all this. He in fact does know nothing about religion and also doesn't want to know anything about it religion and spirituality.
Anyway, I always was interested in Tibet as a country and I always have been a human right supporter and feel very strong about people in the world suffering. In a documentary about Tibet I saw a lot about buddhism about a month ago and even though i have known about it's existence since I am 6 or something, I Only discovered my interest now after being so involved into other spiritual practices and meditation. I am reading like a mad woman and I think it really is for me. I feel like I might have found what I looked for so long. I am keen to visit a temple in our area and I am looking to recieve teachings and I wanna learn more about Buddhism. I have a few friends from Nepal and india and they are really happy to involve me.
Now, even though it doesn't take any time away hubby has with me, he seems very unsupportive now. I am exited and try and talk with him about it all, he shows no interest. He even makes fun of me and thinks it's just a silly idea in my head. He has no idea what Buddhism is, he thinks everyone is a monk, vegetarian and gets reborn and doesn't hurt animals. That's all!
I feel like we are on so different pages at the moment and I feel happier at work then at home for the last 2 weeks. He seems full of anger and frustration and I already learned so much and I just wanna feel happy and positive. My boss admires how much positive energy I am spreading at work for the last 2 weeks. As soon as I come home I get anger and similar as return. He gets angry at me and the cat very quick. He is suprised that I dont want to have sex either. Of course I dont the way he behaves. I don't expect him to read those books or become a Buddhist. I only want him to be less ignorant and to accept me the way I am and wanna be, a better person!
I want him to listen when I talk about Tibet and what's in the news and what concerns me. All I want him to give me, is support, just like I support him with his stuff! I don't know what to do. We are not talking about anything much at the moment. Nothing meaningful at least.
Sorry about the English again!