Some things are better left unsaid, or to clear the air?

[froebellian]

I am opting for the former.. he the latter.

Some things cannot be unsaid and some times it is better not to hear the truth and to tell it if it is going to cause pain.

Am I afraid.. yes that I will be provoked into saying hurtful things. That he will say hurtful things yes too.. either way I don't see the point of creating more pain.

To be honest froe it could be best to do either. With relationships it's generally better to get it all out in the open so you both know where you stand. Just my point of view

Good question!

I am more for getting it all out there...my boyfriend is sometimes more the one wanting to let it be if it may cause pain or drama. What I have told him is, when it comes to telling me things...even if he is telling me something I don't want to hear, it doesn't mean that I don't need to hear it :)
I would rather we both be open and honest, and deal with the issues, than to hold things in - that just causes stress, which won't help anything, either, lol!

[froebellian]

I think its about control.. when I am happy to clear the air then fine, but right now it would cause more stress than he may realise..

leaving things unsaid is a safe option and less stressful..

Without wanting to be sexist, it's usually other way around isn't it? ie she wants to talk, he thinks it's resolved.

[innerlight]

Originally Posted by froebellian

I am opting for the former.. he the latter.

Some things cannot be unsaid and some times it is better not to hear the truth and to tell it if it is going to cause pain.

Am I afraid.. yes that I will be provoked into saying hurtful things. That he will say hurtful things yes too.. either way I don't see the point of creating more pain.

This is actually something that is common in a relationship not saying the "truth" because they are afraid it will hurt them or it will cause an argument.

Perhaps it may cause an argument. However, in my experience, it is better to say the truth then to ignore it to prevent an argument. If there is a problem with something one can not work to correct it if they do not know what it is.

Now that does not mean one needs to just be mean to the other and tell them how stupid they are. That is not really going to help anything. Being tactful with what you say can also help.

Most times when the truth is not said eventually it will hit a breaking point where everything is said and anger is said with it.

[froebellian]

Originally Posted by innerlight

This is actually something that is common in a relationship not saying the "truth" because they are afraid it will hurt them or it will cause an argument.

Perhaps it may cause an argument. However, in my experience, it is better to say the truth then to ignore it to prevent an argument. If there is a problem with something one can not work to correct it if they do not know what it is.

Now that does not mean one needs to just be mean to the other and tell them how stupid they are. That is not really going to help anything. Being tactful with what you say can also help.

Most times when the truth is not said eventually it will hit a breaking point where everything is said and anger is said with it.

Wise words and if I was looking on the outside I would agree..

Yes it may cause an argument and bad feelings.. I am hoping time will let the anger subside and become less intense..

[Teal]

I personally like truth. Find a good way to tell me whats up.

[sensitivesoul]

Looks like you've had some help here already , though thought would give my opinion anyway. Truth is always best, even when it does cause someone pain. At least then it's not staying inside and not progressing.

All you can do is tell the truth and hope for the best. Trust and honesty are very important aspects of a relationship in my opinion.

[Sapphirez]

I am definitely an advocate for the truth too.. but then I can say I've gotten bitten for it many a times ohhh well