The pull when things are going well

dragoneyes · #1 20-08-2015, 12:57 AM

I haven't been on here in a while, I've really been trying to move on and focus on school and bettering myself, and it's going really well.

I've noticed a trend though, and I was curious if it was just me.. When I feel my happiest and things are going well in all areas and I am much more at peace with myself, that is when I feel like reaching out to my twin the most.
It should be the other way around!

We haven't spoken in a few months, which is usual, but every time I go through the exact same steps.. first I avoid him completely and I am absolutely terrified to have any contact or hear anything about him, then it starts to subside but I still don't want to contact him, THEN i start becoming really satisfied with my life and myself, I feel happier and much more social and attract many new connections, and that is when I want to reach out to him.

It's like I feel that I am now strong enough to handle just being in each others lives for whatever reason, or that I want to show him who I am now and that I am happy, or just feel more confident in myself to not fear a rejection from him.

But after so many times, I've realized this is an on-going trend. I thought that the minute you became happier and more at peace you didn't want to contact them anymore..
hmm... is it a lesson of discipline?
In my mind I can see myself meeting him casually now just because I miss him and want to share my new found happiness with him and then go on with my life.. but obviously every time I try it fails, so how to know when it really is time?

QT Pie · #2 20-08-2015, 03:13 AM

It is a lesson in unconditional love. You are challenged to find a peaceful place to put this. Can you be best connect friends weather you are talking and getting along or you are arguing and need to not talk a while? As humans we see endings to people. There are endings to things, not people. We get that confused. This relationship, I find, will not allow you to do that.

Liz614 · #3 20-08-2015, 04:44 AM

My twin behaves in the same way. I notice when things are going well and he feels good about himself, he reaches out to me. Usually a month or two has to go by, though that time is lessening with each separation. When he feels bad about himself he doesn't contact me. I'm more the opposite for sure.