The secret of letting go

[Gem]

Originally Posted by iamthat

forgiveness. grudges, betrayals or injustices need to forgive others. shame need to forgive ourselves. Forgiveness happens when we let go of our resistance.

I think if you do something wrong and there's no way to right it, it will be burden, so one has to be careful about what they do or you end up carrying a lot of baggage in life. The notion that you can do a bunch of wrong stuff and later live as if it didn't happen is flawed. That doesn't mean you can't forgive yourself and be happy - you probably can and should - but it does mean you pay the price regardless.

Grudges are heavy to carry. The problem is, you can't simply decide to forgive someone, or if you really want to, a bunch of stuff has to be untangled. It's a process that indeed involves a cessation of resistance, and if you are prepared to go through the process then you could be free from the grudge, but it's usually stuck fast because the mentality is chaotic, and it takes a long time to unwind since it mostly plays out in its own time.

If there's nothing to forgive, it wasn't really an issue, and we probably all have minor petty grudges that resolve without incident, but if the wrongdoing was prolonged and/or extreme, it's not going to pass easily because it's tangled in knots inside. If you can really just leave it alone (which might not be possible yet), it will start to untangle, but that process is hard and it's very unlikely that it will resolve without resistance along the way.

[OldChap]

Originally Posted by Gem

The burdens we hold on to can be dead weight in our lives, and anyone who has carried a burden in life will know the feeling: 'I want to let it go, but I can't'.
We know in ourselves that it does no good to carry old weight, but everyone comes with baggage, and just like a tree doesn't drop fruit until it is ripe, the crosses we bear have to mature before we're done with them.
If it is a choice and just let it go - that isn't a burden.

Good post!

To have the wisdom to let go of our burdens is truly great.

And it would even be better when we do not have burdens or less burdens to begin with.

We have burdens because things don't go the way we wanted, bringing confusion, turmoil, anger, frustration, judgement, and vengeance to our minds courtesy of a pre-installed software called our ego.

Gratitude is a pre-requisite for us to having peace and joy. Gratitude is needed first before we could truly have sincere love and compassion for oneself, for others, and for everything.

And when we sincerely have love and compassion in heart and mind, we see everything from a benevolent perspective.

No longer will we see the person who drove fast on the road and cutting us off as an a**hole, but as someone needing to go somewhere urgently for whatever reason and hoping that the driver will get there on time.

No longer will we see the person who scammed us as deserving of a good beating and harsh punishment, but as someone who purposely cross our path to help us gain greater wisdom so we won't be scammed so easily again.

No longer will we see our spouse as nagging and constantly complaining, but as a spouse who help us to learn about cooperation and patience.

Nothing in life is ever random, coincidental, lucky, or unlucky. Everything happens with purpose, and that purpose is mostly about helping us learn to grow up to greater wisdom and benevolent maturity.

As we see more of the big whole picture and have more understanding of why things unfold the way they are, we won't get our buttons pressed so easily by others and ourselves. With more peace and joy, we will complain less and blame less. And it all started with having immense gratitude for life and everything.

It's all part of our very long term adventure here as humans of learning to grow up spiritually and return to our true nature of love, compassion, benevolence, and joy. Then we will be in a much better state to do what we came here to do as bearers of light in this dark young world.

[Miss Hepburn]

Couple things to remember - the Admin wants us to only quote 2-3 sentences - you can refer to the post #.
Also, we need to say things are either our ''opinion, our belief or we have read''...
something like that, so we are not saying things as FACT.
Thank you.

[pixiedust]

Originally Posted by OldChap

It's all part of our very long term adventure here as humans of learning to grow up spiritually and return to our true nature of love, compassion, benevolence, and joy. Then we will be in a much better state to do what we came here to do as bearers of light in this dark young world.

This is an amazing post, thank you.

[pixiedust]

Gem, I like your thread and the cause it creates to reflect on this topic. I do believe some people do spiritual bypassing - they pretend they aren't angry/offended/feeling anything negative or put on some projection. It feels fake.

But then I do see and know people who carry no offence at all; no grudge, no negativity and it is my belief that these people are those we can consider truly wise in this world.

OldChap's post reminded me of a point I have seen in Buddhism. And that is antidote.

In Buddhism, metta is considered our highest pinnacle of truth. Compassion.

Meister Eckhart once said if we were truly grateful, that would be the only prayer that is required, did he not?

Gratitude, love, compassion, perhaps these heart qualities can help meld the pain of our own hurts, which we hold beceause we do not see a wider picture yet.

But the promise is always there.

Blessings,
pixiedust

[JustBe]

Originally Posted by Miss Hepburn

Oh, really?
We disagree again.
The power of Grace is profound.
.

At times in my process I’ve received an external intervention of ‘something’. Some might call it grace or a blessing, peace..what I recall through my process was that it never came at a point, where I hadn’t already done a lot of letting go. The place it came was from a bigger ongoing letting go process that was unravelling to this point. I’d ‘reached’ into myself enough to feel this burden in me and it was in a place where I felt ‘there was no way out’ . Where I’d backed myself into a corner of sorts. One of those places where I felt I couldn’t resolve it. My mind was caught up in feeling “How do I resolve this”..”I don’t know how” in having no way out, I still found that point of ‘surrender’ in myself, just by acknowledging this entrapment. And as I see it now, it was a bigger process that was leading me to feel and see (inwardly and outwardly) the state of true peace in me that was ‘still fragmented’ but healing deeply through this deeper process I was immersed in.


My sense in reading through your response is that there is no order in how we open to the nature of our own ‘receiving’. Many people I know have had experiences as children where they have felt what I’ve felt. An intercession of sorts. When and how you receive, whether spontaneously or after a deeper gutsy process, this is simply a ‘recognition’ of peace, love, light, bliss, whatever one experiences, to remember one’s true nature at those intersections of one’s life.

To remember your own wholeness, so that within your life experience, you’ll never lose that memory ‘in feeling’ of how you can be, even in the face of difficult life experiences.

Where I met my intercession, was after a deep process through the unknown, I needed in this way to break through fear and control issues in myself.

So in my experience of others and myself, it doesn’t eliminate your life experience as it unravels and as you need to be in your process, but rather it’s a intersecting moment supportive to you where you are and where you’ve come from and where you moving too in the future.

And for each process that is different.

[kris]

The way I see it, the burden we carry is the result of our past actions, or our accumulated karma. We cannot run away from it. What we can do is live in a way that we increase our burden. In other words, we need to watch our karma. As for past karmic burden, my way is to make it bearable by increasing the understanding of how karmic burden is generated. My chosen path to increase my understanding is yoga. It has helped me in my life so far.

Originally Posted by Native spirit

I was told many moons ago that what ever you carry on your back
is a dead weight that should be left for someone else to Discard for you

Very true Native....

I am trying to get back friends I love deeply....... It has been really affecting my life for 3 years now.......

I dont wanna let it go,the way they treated me before this happend was like a family and I just dont understand it!!

[Miss Hepburn]

Originally Posted by Dude111

I am trying to get back friends I love deeply....... It has been really affecting my life for 3 years now.......
I dont wanna let it go,the way they treated me before this happend was like a family and I just dont understand it!!

If I drop a friend, for me, it is never because of one thing....
there's a 'straw that breaks the camel's back'.
Then something happens and it's the last straw, it just takes the cake as they say.
Don't know if that can help you to understand.

[AngelBlue]

Originally Posted by Dude111

I am trying to get back friends I love deeply....... It has been really affecting my life for 3 years now.......
I dont wanna let it go,the way they treated me before this happend was like a family and I just dont understand it!!

Dude, I feel that at this stage you HAVE to let it go.