I give up!

[Shine]

Well, I've given up now. He's never going to come to me and i need to accept this fact and move on.
I've tried everything to get him to wake up.
Its pretty complicated and we are at a standstill now.
I'm loosing sleep, I'm way overtired and depressed .
I didn't ask for this to happen in the first place and often wonder what i did to deserve all this. I must have made some terrible deal before coming into this life.
Ive never been so sad and depressed.
I dont see anything positive coming out of this right now.
I'm at the point where i wish i never met him!
Sorry for all the rambling on. I just feel so sad and its painful for me.
I love him with all my heart and soul but feel for my own sanity i need to move on.

Shine

[Heart]

When you return your love for him inwards towards your own heart you will fibd deep seated peace..
Know that he is a stepping stone to something even greater....... you

[Paige Ignited]

Well, I've given up now. That's a good spot!

He's never going to come to me and i need to accept this fact and move on.
Wouldn’t say never, but he ain’t coming at this stage in life.

I've tried everything to get him to wake up.
You tried everything and it didn’t work? Toss it to the Man above!
He’ll sort it, one way or another.

It’s pretty complicated and we are at a standstill now.
Everything is complicated when we don’t quite understand it. 3d barriers aside.
The standstill won’t last forever. It’s simply a space to pause, breathe and reflect.
It’s giving you once again (most likely) the chance now for surrender. Surrender to the possible fact that he is not coming back. Let him go, just as you would any man in the 3d world if he wasn’t on your ideal level or suited.

I'm loosing sleep, I'm way overtired and depressed.
That’s a good place to be, sometimes. When the candle is almost burnt both ends, something’s gotta give. Maybe now, this time round, you’re ready to surrender, fully.
The 3d mind keeps you in this stage, not the soul connection itself. Learning to distinguish between the two will benefit you big time.
Sleep, rest, be a slob. Recharge your battery.

I didn't ask for this to happen in the first place and often wonder what i did to deserve all this. I must have made some terrible deal before coming into this life.
Didn’t us all! If that was the case.
You desired it before you even realized it. It was already a part of you.


Ive never been so sad and depressed.
So cry! Shout! Scream! Put a picture of him on the wall, and have a game of darts!
Feel that heart wrenching twist as it sticks it’s blade in a bit harder.
That’s a good place to be too! Just not for too long. Maybe this time...this time now, you’ll surrender.
If not, you’ll come back around to this place again at some time, and do it all over again.
It takes as long and as many rounds as it takes.
But each time, as you feel as if your just going round in circles, your growing and getting closer to that next stage that you need to reach. And you’ll then look back and realize why.
When your ‘never been so sad and depressed’, this could be your time. Or, next time you might come back here again to this spot, and that ‘never been so sad and depressed’ will hit again big time, thus making that previous ‘sad and depressed’ time, look absolutely ‘not that bad’.



I don’t see anything positive coming out of this right now.
You can’t see it right now, but you will see it.
If you felt your way into this, despite not ‘knowing’ what exactly, you’ll surely ‘feel’ your way out of it too. Then you will understand more again.

I'm at the point where i wish i never met him!
Wishing you never met the one person that has given you a great blessing?
That’s not a good start for the surrender stage. He’s given you something here that, although is devastating in so many ways and feels soul destroying, (and it is too) it is for good reason.
Let go of your ‘wishing I never met him gripe’.
You met him for a reason, and your now living a reason for that reason, of which is for a greater reason that you will come to understand in time.

Sorry for all the rambling on. I just feel so sad and it’s painful for me.
Rambling is good. Venting is good. Emotions can’t flow when in a bottle.
Feel, release, feel, release - and over time, feel becomes less, and release is not so much needed. Then you’ll slowly or rapidly start to move into the next stage of your spiritual growth. Now that’s exciting!
Beyond this man...awaits something great(er), (may be him, may be another, may be nothing to do with a man at all) even though you can’t see it now.
You will when you get there.

I love him with all my heart and soul but feel for my own sanity i need to move on.
You can love him and still move on with your life, despite the pain this can bring for the time that it does. Nothing lasts forever in the 3d.
I do agree that not all TF are going to be together in this lifetime, but to come and re-arrange your whole mindset and reality, for greater things, that each of us will contribute to, in the name of love.

If you’re feeling that fine line of sanity, you’re on the brink of something FANTASTIC!

[CrystalSong]

Originally Posted by shine

Well, I've given up now.

Shine

You can have mine if you want.
The tf never brought me anything other than misery.
Anyone can have him, in fact, someone please take him!
LOL

Seriously though, after I got over the fetal position, heart rending weeks of crying and patched my ego back together and moved on things are pretty great! You can do this shine. Move on, rebuild, Live!!

And no I don't want another one!

Regardless of whether you think him a twin flame or not, don't fritter your life here trying to solve it. You're entitled to enjoyment and happiness so go out a bit, date people (perhaps on the understanding it's just as friends at first).

Twin flames are only a fact to those who believe in the idea and are willing to submit to the dogma. The world is full of wonderful, long-term, binding relationships without ever invoking the twin flame diktat. People meet, they grow with each other, support and appreciate each other, compromise etc. Eventually they become inseparable.

You don't have to be twin flames for that. I sometimes read here about people claiming "Don't worry, you'll "connect" in some future life," and wonder how many lifetimes (assuming reincarnation to be a possibility) people are willing to fritter on just a hope, an obsession. Is it spiritually healthy?

♥

Originally Posted by shine

Well, I've given up now. He's never going to come to me and i need to accept this fact and move on.
I've tried everything to get him to wake up.
Its pretty complicated and we are at a standstill now.
I'm loosing sleep, I'm way overtired and depressed .
I didn't ask for this to happen in the first place and often wonder what i did to deserve all this. I must have made some terrible deal before coming into this life.
Ive never been so sad and depressed.
I dont see anything positive coming out of this right now.
I'm at the point where i wish i never met him!
Sorry for all the rambling on. I just feel so sad and its painful for me.
I love him with all my heart and soul but feel for my own sanity i need to move on.

Shine

I honestly believe if someone feels in a position to "wake someone up" they do it by example so the person can see and feel the benefits of being awake. To me it's a matter of inspiration and if you're frustrated by a lack of response it's probably best to bide your time and go on setting the example.

To me, this trying to awaken someone is trying to "convert" them to a new set of beliefs. The person might ask themselves why there's this need. Can they commit to the demands of these new beliefs?
And you have to ask yourself - is your brand of spirituality better/more important/more redeeming than theirs? Unless someone willingly wants to submit there'll be resistance. With this twin flame idea that's understandable because it's a big ask. The commitment needs a huge shift in a non-believer's faith.

I think you've done the right thing giving up. Proselyting twin flame "theory" is never going to be easy with someone not receptive. It isn't something I could believe in. There's no fact to it, just one of many beliefs. And it isn't right that you go on sad and depressed. That isn't what life, living, spiritual growth and self development are about.

Just my views however.

♥

[7luminaries]

You can do this shine. Move on, rebuild, Live!!
...And no I don't want another one!

Good advice!

Regardless of whether you think him a twin flame or not, don't fritter your life here trying to solve it. You're entitled to enjoyment and happiness so go out a bit, date people (perhaps on the understanding it's just as friends at first).

Twin flames are only a fact to those who believe in the idea and are willing to submit to the dogma. The world is full of wonderful, long-term, binding relationships without ever invoking the twin flame diktat. People meet, they grow with each other, support and appreciate each other, compromise etc. Eventually they become inseparable.

You don't have to be twin flames for that. I sometimes read here about people claiming "Don't worry, you'll "connect" in some future life," and wonder how many lifetimes (assuming reincarnation to be a possibility) people are willing to fritter on just a hope, an obsession. Is it spiritually healthy?

Also good advice!

On your last Lorelyen, I don't believe in twin flame theory but I do believe in soul family, close soul family, and close soul mates, who may be anyone and who can (IMO) recur in more than one lifetime, sometimes many. Nearly everyone incarnates to learn how to better do and be the authentic love we are at centre. It's just we repeatedly fall short and screw up and fail to honor the challenge as well as we'd like. Hence all these lifetimes of rubbish and violence and meeting with bad ends.

In light of my own experiences (and many others), I certainly can say that having the experience of someone in your life, even a very close soul family member whom you love very deeply, doesn't guarantee a good relationship or a happy ending, no matter if you were best mates, life partners, siblings, or what have ye. It is *ALL* down to the desire and capacity to give love and kindness to one another, and equally to receive it from them -- no matter what your relationship is, whether fam, friends, partners, or whatever. I have had all of the above and I came to a bad end nearly every time at his hands. And in many lifetimes we were both tall strapping men. It's because I loved and trusted him that I never saw it coming. Everyone has his or her reasons and it's all water under the bridge for me. I forgave the whole thing in the moments of death, beforehand even -- though there was confusion and pain of course -- and I have never seen it in terms of blame. Every moment is a new opportunity for healing and letting go all round.

And yet after at least now 5 lifetimes together (info that we received at some point but the gist of which I felt from the start in the deep knowing and resonance), and after at least 5 years of deep communication and sharing....I thought we could be regular friends but apparently not, sadly. As of this date, he is still not able to easily give me love, kindness, or most of all, forgiveness and simple acceptance. We are physically distant from each other and communicated for years, but he never allowed for us to speak or vid chat or phone one another, or any of that. Only email.

In fact, he said he knew when we first corresponded that he loved me and we resonated deeply, but that he never wanted to speak live or meet in person -- of course I thought that was odd and later very hurtful when it was repeated...how could anyone even say that to someone else unless they despise them, and why would anyone say that like it was nothing? We'd already established very early on he didn't do relationships (not even for the queen of sheba, etc), not even for those close by, and that I was good with being his friend -- we are miles apart, after all and I just wanted to share the love in friendship.

But to have him repeat that, I felt that on some level he didn't take the friendship seriously...like his face time was only for folks nearby, such that he couldn't even spare a call once or twice a year just to occasionally connect in a more grounded way...and yet he said he talked to no one else like me and that he loved me as a person and appreciated our connection. I felt that these were sincere expressions of friendship, so I tried to live with all the mixed messages and just focus on the love and friendship and tried to cope with the email-only communication as best I could.

After 5 years, with some real courtesy and personal expressions of greeting and concern over the last year of writing, he rejected another offer of speaking live or vid chatting on some occasion, just to finally put a face to a name. I took a break for 6 months and after 1.5 years of trying to reach out to him since then, he has not forgiven me for simply being human and feeling deeply rejected as a friend. That he wasn't taking the friendship seriously -- a good friend is a real treasure IMO, and I realised maybe he didn't see friendship the way I did, despite all he'd said. While reaching out to him, I found a picture of him online so I could actually recognise his face if ever we did cross paths, and I figured that would have to do. I've actually tried to send him some final requests for forgiveness and fence-mending, since there is a significance to asking 3 times. After that, I can rest if he unresponsive and leave it to the guides. But I'll be honest, I'm not looking forward to more lifetimes with this person if he continues like this, and I was really, really trying to come to a better place, a place of sincere friendship on both sides -- one that doesn't require my silence but allows me to speak, face to face...even if it were on Skype or over the phone.

The last lifetime prior to this where I recall him (and others I know today) in my life, he was my secret partner when I'd been abandoned by my husband and was unable to get a religious divorce (I was a Jewish woman in what is now the Ukraine -- also my first other lifetime as a woman that I remember and just a brutally oppressive and marginalised one). I barely spoke. I died with my small daughter in the harsh winter, en route to trying to get a divorce after finding out I was pregnant (and would have been cast out). He felt enraged and abandoned when I left, and I feel he never forgave me for that. He thought his plan for us to run away and live like refugees would be fine and he couldn't understand my decision and my need to have both my life and my dignity (within that context).

I feel like neither he nor the others I know now from that lifetime (at least two) really even knew me in that lifetime. I felt then that they only wanted my softness and my silent touch...not me, really, just the shell. How could anyone really know me in that place, when we hardly spoke and I worried about food and rape constantly? The men I know today from that lifetime still have a tender spot for small silent brunettes (which I am not now ), but what they don't know is that in that lifetime, I was never able to be ME. And they never really knew me as I was in that one time and place -- partly due to their own blinders and partly due to my burdens and the heavy burdens of that time and place.

I think other-life rage and bitterness can create some sort of blind spot. Definitely obstacles. Things that don't come from this life. And yet, whether someone brings extra baggage like that or not, the only way forward is love and acceptance and forgiveness. Of whatever. So you can start fresh just as people. Perhaps you'll not be partners or perhaps not even friends if they chose to be hostile or violent toward you. But the fact is everyone can always choose to be kind and courteous to one another. That is always an option...and it's the only way forward to the path of peace, lovingkindness, and equaminity.

It's really up to everyone to do whatever they can to extend kindness, love, acceptance, and forgiveness NOW. This whole "I'll deal with it next lifetime" is for the birds because it doesn't work that way. Next lifetime, you'll have different challenges - who knows how well they'll be handled? And you may very well have to deal with the same anger, cruelties, indignities, unkindnesses, and lack of love and acceptance from this same soul. Hopefully you'll not be murdered by them but there's no guarantee. Yes, it's a real drag. And that's an understatement.

Essentially you'll just pick up from where you left off, with whatever was unfinished between you, just in some new context. If they despise and mistrust you now, likely they'll bring all that forward next time as well. They bring whatever they are and whatever they have, full stop...there is no magical transformation "next time", LOL.... If they are angry now and that's how they leave it, they'll likely find some context to rage on you next time as well...until and unless they grow and learn to just forgive and let it go..before they up and murder you again. However, if you can ever just meet in the middle, it could be a beloved friendship that sustains you over your lifetime, even if it is strictly platonic. At the very least, you can be on good terms, in a place of courtesy, kindness, and respect for one another as people.

Generally speaking, if you don't care for what you can in this moment, in this lifetime, you've missed your opportunity to live and do and be who you are right NOW -- and that also goes for your relationships with all the folks in your life. I'm not saying forget your close soul family, your closest soul mates. Just the opposite. I'm saying do whatever you can. Keep trying to mend fences, until you feel you must let it go. But if at all possible, keep the door open to allow for them to reach out. And meanwhile, continue on your path.

And for the OP, SHINE...I think the advice about dating as friends is the only way folks should ever date someone new, BTW...until you're both well into a mutual authentic love.

Peace & blessings
7L

[Goddessa]

Originally Posted by heart

Know that he is a stepping stone to something even greater....... you

This^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Yes. I think that this is what this twin flame thing is all about. Sounds simplistic but this may be it.

[Heart]

Originally Posted by Goddessa

This^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Yes. I think that this is what this twin flame thing is all about. Sounds simplistic but this may be it.

we look way too hard for the answers to our experiences in twin flames connections only to realize after a great amount struggle (cleansing or purification of the heart) that the very "act" of asking you are in-fact receiving, hence the biblical term "“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you." Mathew 7.7

When you question these connections you are opening up "inner" doors to another world that is neither here nor there but known everywhere

it is only complex if we make it so to our attachment to its results. in truth when we let go of him or her we are left with nothing but ourselves to turn too, best to allow loves intention to guide us to our inner truth