Scam marriage

[HopeForever]

Context: I’ve been single for a long time.

A few nights ago I dreamt I was married to someone and there was a whole story I could see where he seemed really in love with me and super nice, then we got married and he just disappeared. I felt intense feeling of being deceived and duped because I realized he wasn’t who he had said he was. I then decided to get divorced. Couldn’t remember his name but I found him online using a name of a famous character in a movie whose a very good man and sent him a message I want to get divorced. Then I hired a private investigator to find him to get divorced.

My interpretation: either intense fear of being duped by someone in love and/or wanting to divorce/get rid of an energy that is bad hurtful and unrequited.

[Baile]

You got married, he then left, after which you got a divorce... all in one dream? That's a lot of activity, maybe you're too busy in waking life and need to slow down! Private investigator sounds like your higher self (hired self?) showing you how to fix the issue. Helping you to jettison the excess life-trash so as to clear out some you-space.

[HopeForever]

Originally Posted by Baile

You got married, he then left, after which you got a divorce... all in one dream? That's a lot of activity, maybe you're too busy in waking life and need to slow down! Private investigator sounds like your higher self (hired self?) showing you how to fix the issue. Helping you to jettison the excess life-trash so as to clear out some you-space.

Those are some interesting thoughts! I hadn’t thought about the fact that so much happened in 1 dream. Thank you.

HopeForever - this is so spooky because what you saw in your dream is what happened to me in real life!

Even the him disappearing and me having to get a private investigator!

The guy did what he did (and he did other abominable things) for immigration reasons. I thought I was married but had to find out that I wasn't. He even used a fake identity, complete with fake name, fake birth certificate etc.

I was thoroughly scammed by this creature.

I wonder if you either picked up on my story as empaths often pick up on what goes on in someone else'e life, or if this dream is a warning. Immigration marriage fraud is very common and especially women in the West are being targeted online for this. The scammers target lonely and vulnerable women - not only older or unattractive women. In the media, victims of this heinous crime are often portrayed as stupid, naive, gullible, unattractive and old. This is not the case, of which I am living proof, and indeed anyone can fall victim to this scam - in fact such scammers target women who are professionals as the scammers are usually not only after visa/passport/status, but also after money. They disappear once they have what they wanted - and then try to get half of the victim's estate. This is what I am currently experiencing.

I have been single all my life so I was the perfect victim as I had no experience with men, never had a boyfriend, never even been on a date. I still haven't and I'm in my forties. I'm by far not desperate, nor am I unattractive, overweight or depressed, so no, it isn't just such women who fall victim to this type of scam.

I see you have also been single for a long time. Please be aware that this makes you vulnerable, and if any man from a Third World country approaches you online - cut all contact, as horrible as that might sound, block him, don't engage in any conversation. This is nothing to do with racism but everything to do with protection from being targeted by criminals. These people are master manipulators, they are masters of deception, they fool the most intelligent of us! There is no man in any Third World country - or otherwise non-Western country - that is suddenly going to fall head over heals in love with you just from seeing your picture somewhere or something like that! No matter how beautiful you are (and, not wanting to show off but to tell facts, I'm considered unusually attractive), they are not going to fall for you - they are after visa and money! They are usually married already (most of them are, certainly the guy in my case was), they will introduce their wives to you as their sister (this is very common and also what happened to me) and they will disappear on you (or do much worse such as false allegations, which is also what happened to me!), claim half of your estate and bring their wives over! They might even steal your identity and give it to their wives whilst leaving you with her identity stranded in their country of origin - this is not really possible if you are of a different ethnicity than them, but if you are of the same ethnicity then this is what they do (this also nearly happened to me). These scammers are always also involved with other serious crime, often involving human trafficking - always!

I am a member of a support organization for victims of this despicable crime and so know about this type of scam, also I have been the victim of it not once but twice. In my culture women are easy victims due to the tradition of arranged marriages.

Your dream contains too much detail as that it could just have been about how you feel or a coincidence - it seems to be a warning, please take that warning serious. Dreams often warn us. I have ignored them in the past at my peril and now I know better than to ignore warning dreams.

[HopeForever]

Originally Posted by Ankhesenamun

HopeForever - this is so spooky because what you saw in your dream is what happened to me in real life!

Even the him disappearing and me having to get a private investigator!

The guy did what he did (and he did other abominable things) for immigration reasons. I thought I was married but had to find out that I wasn't. He even used a fake identity, complete with fake name, fake birth certificate etc.

I was thoroughly scammed by this creature.

I wonder if you either picked up on my story as empaths often pick up on what goes on in someone else'e life, or if this dream is a warning. Immigration marriage fraud is very common and especially women in the West are being targeted online for this. The scammers target lonely and vulnerable women - not only older or unattractive women. In the media, victims of this heinous crime are often portrayed as stupid, naive, gullible, unattractive and old. This is not the case, of which I am living proof, and indeed anyone can fall victim to this scam - in fact such scammers target women who are professionals as the scammers are usually not only after visa/passport/status, but also after money. They disappear once they have what they wanted - and then try to get half of the victim's estate. This is what I am currently experiencing.

I have been single all my life so I was the perfect victim as I had no experience with men, never had a boyfriend, never even been on a date. I still haven't and I'm in my forties. I'm by far not desperate, nor am I unattractive, overweight or depressed, so no, it isn't just such women who fall victim to this type of scam.

I see you have also been single for a long time. Please be aware that this makes you vulnerable, and if any man from a Third World country approaches you online - cut all contact, as horrible as that might sound, block him, don't engage in any conversation. This is nothing to do with racism but everything to do with protection from being targeted by criminals. These people are master manipulators, they are masters of deception, they fool the most intelligent of us! There is no man in any Third World country - or otherwise non-Western country - that is suddenly going to fall head over heals in love with you just from seeing your picture somewhere or something like that! No matter how beautiful you are (and, not wanting to show off but to tell facts, I'm considered unusually attractive), they are not going to fall for you - they are after visa and money! They are usually married already (most of them are, certainly the guy in my case was), they will introduce their wives to you as their sister (this is very common and also what happened to me) and they will disappear on you (or do much worse such as false allegations, which is also what happened to me!), claim half of your estate and bring their wives over! They might even steal your identity and give it to their wives whilst leaving you with her identity stranded in their country of origin - this is not really possible if you are of a different ethnicity than them, but if you are of the same ethnicity then this is what they do (this also nearly happened to me). These scammers are always also involved with other serious crime, often involving human trafficking - always!

I am a member of a support organization for victims of this despicable crime and so know about this type of scam, also I have been the victim of it not once but twice. In my culture women are easy victims due to the tradition of arranged marriages.

Your dream contains too much detail as that it could just have been about how you feel or a coincidence - it seems to be a warning, please take that warning serious. Dreams often warn us. I have ignored them in the past at my peril and now I know better than to ignore warning dreams.

Hi Ankhesenamun,

You’re message is shocking to me - I can’t believe the same thing happened to you and that you happened to read this post. The experience you describe is very scary! I can’t imagine going through that in real life. I remember feeling intense things during the dream.

I am very sorry to read about your experience. You’re right about anyone can fall prey to such scam/crime, at the end of the day no matter who we are we want to love and be loved.

I am definitely an empath and I’ve picked up on things that don’t belong to me before. You made me realize though that maybe this is a warning - could be on a less extreme level a warning about being more careful/protective about who I let in my life! I hadn’t even thought about that. Thank you.

Wishing you recovery and a better future.

Hi HopeForever,

Thank you for your good wishes - I have probably recovered as well as I ever will, but the scars will last a lifetime. I don't think I'll ever be able to trust someone enough again to want to get married. I went through absolute hell, I've come out the other end, but the damage this guy did with his false allegations and all will also be with me forever.

I fully agree, we all want to love and be loved. I want that very much, but after what happened and with there being so many fakes around nowadays I put the thought of finding someone to the back of my mind. I can't bear the thought of someone coming into my life and having who knows what intentions.

Someone at work said something to me today though that struck a cord with me: "you don't want to get to 60 and be single".

I had thought about that too, that I don't want to be here in another 20 years single, I'm not even cut out for always being alone - I'm scared in the dark, I would love to have someone to care for and to talk to...

It's a dilemma, but given that no one has ever been interested in me I suppose I don't have to worry about that as that's not going to change.

There is no doubt that we have to be extremely careful who we let into our lives. Nowadays there are so many fakes and liars about it's beyond ridiculous, people lead fake lives, pretend. At the same time though we all want to make friends, and in the end find a partner... Just be careful as I would not want anyone else to go through what I've been through. Victims of this heinous crime usually end up suicidal and on medication, I haven't but I have certainly reached rock bottom through this and I'm not the same person as I was before.

Maybe you have indeed picked up on my story because there were such strong emotions associated with what happened - the extreme betrayal, the fear when I was confronted with the false allegations (very serious false allegations), the fear when I was subsequently hounded by police, my despair when the guy concerned committed adultery whilst denying me any and all marital relations, me having to find out I was never married... the emotions I went through were very strong and I wouldn't be surprised if another empath would pick up on that.

I'm not bitter over what happened but I do feel anger, if not even rage, over the fact that there was never any justice - on the contrary this guy - and the other one since this happened twice - both got a British passport out of it whilst I was stuck all alone in a strange country (the UK - I was brought to the UK against my will for the first scammer as he wanted to use my European nationality to get British nationality - which he did) and never had chance to go back, and the second time I was (and still am) stuck with the aftermath of heavy financial loss, loss of reputation, and all the other damage this guy did. And my emotions still run high over that, no matter how much I have left this to God to deliver justice. I have made it my mission to speak the truth about this subject, and narcissism, to raise awareness. This is therefore always with me and hence could have been picked up by you, but we empaths often have dreams warning us of something so it could be that too.

Take good care of yourself and be careful who you deal with, these scams are becoming more and more common because here in the UK the government don't deal with this issue but instead throw British passports at these criminals like confetti (whilst deporting decent folk), and because these people are absolutely desperate to get to the West. In every major city in Pakistan you can't turn for seeing advertisements for immigration advisers that promise to help with visas to the UK - and it's not just Pakistan, though it is extreme there how people are willing to do anything to get to the West.

I'm glad I had chance to tell my story on here to raise awareness, it's not a subject that would normally come up on a spiritual forum but whenever I get chance I like to make my story known to warn others and to prevent anyone else from falling victim to these criminals.

[Michelle11]

I'd say in some way someone may have cheated you. You connected with a person or even a mindset only to find out it wasn't real or it did not support you the way you expected so you are in the process of divorcing yourself from the thing. I wonder if this relates to your ptss. Some hurt caused you to marry some idea that wasn't in your best interests and now you are trying to investigate the situation so you can free yourself from your trauma. When hurtful things happen to us we can start to make assumptions about ourselves that undermines our self worth. Sounds like you are looking to weed out anything in your life that no longer serves your higher good. It's a difficult process but worth it