Ascension

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

Over the last week, I’ve read your words half a dozen times or so as there was a lot of quite profound things in there.

You need to get out more.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

I tried that line of thinking fairly early on but no impact on the physical level.

To be honest I don't know what the answer to this one is, I think sometimes there are parts of us that aren't 'meant to be' healed because they're an integral part of who and what we are. Healing them would be like taking away a part of ourselves, a part of what brought us here.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

I get that but sometimes a trauma to the physical body, no amount of positive or negative thinking and everything inbetween makes a difference. A medium once told me I’d got PTSD so I think the fact that I’ve got on top of the experience mentally and emotionally, as far as I’m aware of my own feelings about it, that’s significant progress. When I think of the first couple of years where I experienced episodes of overwhelming anger (still have a hole in the bedroom door that needs repairing!) I can see the progress I made. I’ve chipped away at it year after year with EFT, TAT, meditations, forgiveness, and many things and the intensity of it emotionally, isn’t there anymore but obviously the physical healing is yet to take place. I’ll keep trying, I’ll never give up on myself.

What a lot of people don't realise is that Life itself often gives you PTSD, usually it's only associated with being in a war zone but often Life itself is just that. Just when we think we've moved on all we've really done is buried it a little deeper, only for it to come back even stronger than before - and with sharper teeth. Sometimes the physical damage is simply too much.

I was a very angry young man after years of.... and it all started bubbling to the surface. It happened, I moved on but the latent effects were there just the same. When I think about it I was heading for prison until my friend started judo classes and got me to join, and that's what turned me around. There were times when I was downright reckless but most of the time I was with people who were far more experienced than me, and yes I was slapped around some but never gave up. One day the fight was gone, I just didn't have the stomach for it any more. One night I landed badly and hurt my hip, it was painful for a time but I got on with it. Now it's playing up and I put that down to that night so many years ago. And yeah I know how that sounds, hip replacement is for old guys.

It's all been a part of that Journey, the scars and other damages I have because I've been stupid but each one catalyses a memory and y'know, I've come to admire and Love that kid.

I have a friend who has PTSD from tours in Afghanistan, along with a metal plate in his head that resonates with a stone circle at Solstice. Seriously. He's gone all suicidal on his wife a couple of times, she'll buy a bottle of scotch and invite me over and we'll sit and talk of old times, comrades and the like. But it all comes down to the same phrase - without all of that happening Darren wouldn't be Darren, he'd be a different Darren.

No you won't give up on yourself, if you did you wouldn't be Patrycia, would you? That's the bigger picture.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

That really made me laugh. It’s pretty spot on as to how I feel on certain days.

It might be a silly thought but it might just be the right one on a day when you feel like that.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

I’m really trying to hold that in my mind.

Sometimes you've just gotta surrender to the inevitable, or find lots of patience.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

The overwhelming hunger is something else. I was only out mowing the lawn a few days ago and by the end of it I was shaking with hunger, so had a huge bowl of oats and yoghurt and then promptly ate another one! My guides tell me this is something to do with storing energy. I know I get particularly hungry immediately after a significant healing session.

I used to get that when I was doing rostrum work or having had a particularly heavy session but it was wine gums with me because of the sugar hit. Some days are more intense than others though and for the last few weeks I've been shoveling it down. I don't know where the energy is going but sometimes it feels as though I'm just pumping it into the surrounding area, it's probably something to do with the leyline that connects to the major European gridline.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

I definitely feel the connection with my father, who’s saved me from a few close shaves whilst driving and the way he sends me songs on my MP3 player. I do feel connected to spirit in a good way; especially when I see words in my third eye in response to wondering about things generally, the numerology, blue flashes of light.

It#s that warm, fuzzy feeling. My father was killed just before I was born, and those who say that you can't miss what you've never had are talking out of their backsides. I know when he's around and for some reason he's never been far away recently. The Universe is echoing back at me in its own strange way too, so it's all OK - and that's all it needs to be.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

No, but then I don’t think I meant to. It occurred to me yesterday that this is an experience where I have to feel my way rather than think my way through it.

Do what feels best for you, personally. However, don't forget intuition rather than thinking and remember that you can put the puzzle together by feeling. It's also called Gnosis and that has a few definitions; one is knowing without knowing how you know and the other is experiential knowledge, which is knowledge gained through experience.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

That was a really helpful comparison. It's early days for me in managing emotionally the high and lows of the frequencies. It's a little early to call it a pattern as something slightly different happens each time in the healing but the deep heat in the body and the hunger happen immediately after a significant healing session and then both ease off back to normal after about 10 days. Also, I don’t get prompted to use crystals until about four days after. I had thought that last time I used crystals with the kundalini/my healing energy, I was energising the crystals, so when I used them after the four days, maybe they were reflecting back a little of that original energy.

The other curious thing I've noticed is that when I get the deep heat at night, I wake up and notice the time, it's always 11.11, 12.21, 12.34 etc, a significant number, and then about 15 seconds later, I get the deep heat for a minute or two and then go back to sleep before the next one. Usually after a significant healing, it happens up to six times a night.

And the rather extraordinary thing in Matt's book, which I’m getting through slowly, only due to time constraints, there’s several pages which describe his life and experiences, communicating with guides - I’m finding that the most interesting thing – but many of the words and phrases he uses to describe his experiences are the same words I’ve been using of late. At one point it was like having my own experience reflected back to me.

Sometimes it's best just to allow things to happen as they will, but I think there seems to be a pattern with you but with variations on a theme if you like. It probably depends on what's being healed and how. One of the things that could be happening is you're adjusting to the healing energies, and obviously as you heal your perceptions will change. If you're emotionally highly strung that would contribute to how you perceive them as well. If you're trying to manage your emotions you might well be fighting a losing battle if not hindering the healing, emotions are energy in motion and if they're not in tune with the healing energies then that might not help. Yeah I know, the last thing you need is a session of tears or anger but sometimes it's best to contain it rather than fight against it and let it all go when you're in a position to. Sometimes what's needed is a pressure release valve.

Crystals can have an energy of their own and you yourself imprint energy onto them as you use them so they end up with a bit of a mix. It's not so much a 'store' of energy but more of a reference point if you like, and when your own energies have been flying off the charts and into orbit sometimes you need an energetic reference point to return to. It's kind of a safety, comfort thing.

Have you ever thought about naming your crystals? I've always liked 'Charakis' is a great name for a crystal.

It's really cool when the Universe reflects back at you, whether it's the clock or Matt's book but it's all shades of the same thing. Someone once told me that Old Souls don't integrate as well into this dimension as well as other Souls, I'd never thought about it before that but it's very true. There was always a feeling of being at odds so it's really soothing to find the Universe reflecting back finally.

Originally Posted by Patrycia-Rose

I’ve been doing this in the last few days; care of the technique in the book about ‘whatever arises/love that’. We’ll see what happens with it. Acceptance seems to be a new word in my thinking.


For the moment, the deep heat and hunger have settled and I've a feeling I'm going to get the call to hold another healing session this weekend.

Thank you Mr G for your support and wise words.

Yeah, whatever arises Love that - including what's left after the trauma to the physical body. If you don't Love and accept every part of you - warts and all - what then? If the Universe is reflecting so much back at you, doesn't that tell you that it's OK with you being the way you are regardless?

Again the question, what are you trying to heal and what are the reasons? And no, it's not obvious.

Take it as it comes Patryicia, and remember that the Universe has your back either way. Love your emotions too because they are a part of you, and often the reason we feel them so intensely is that they're the children seeking attention.

You're always welcome, Patrycia.