A question about twin flames.

[SMT3Master227]

Originally Posted by FallingLeaves

um i think we are on completely different pages? I never said I had a partner, and I did say I had a whole lot of twin flame experiences enough to make my head spin, then you argued with me for a long time about the validity of those experiences?????

I guess I just totally don't 'get' what other people are saying...

sigh...

Yeah im thinking we are thinking two different things since at first your saying they arent a twin flame and now they are again lol? And your talking about two different people now? I thought one was your partner and one wasnt. I dont get whats going on. But also your getting mixed up on what a false twin was. You cant really get your twin flame mixed up unless the person your dealing with is manipulative and is mirroring you to get something out of you, hence why they will seem like they have a strong connection to you but in reality they are just saying what you want to hear for whatever selfish reasons.

And like I said before, I question things since anyone can say whatever and then be like "oh everyone is my twin flame!". No, your dog's neighbors pet goldfish's aunt isnt your twin flame. No, the codepnedent relationship your in isnt a twin flame. No, your grandma isnt your twin flame. There are certain elements that make it what it is, but it requires some decent logical reasoning skills to get to that conclusion and its not just based on emotions.

If you got a good theory behind how someone is your twin flame, I like to hear it. But it has to make some sense. It has to have a reasonable amount of evidence that isnt just based on feelings since if not the whole thing falls apart.

[SMT3Master227]

Originally Posted by FallingLeaves

um i think we are on completely different pages? I never said I had a partner, and I did say I had a whole lot of twin flame experiences enough to make my head spin, then you argued with me for a long time about the validity of those experiences?????

I guess I just totally don't 'get' what other people are saying...

sigh...

Yeah, not sure what your saying at this point to be honest lol. First your telling me someone is your TF, then they arent, now they are again? And are you talking about two different people? Also, I think you werent understanding that there is no such thing as a false twin unless your dealing with a manipulative person that is mirroring you. The only kind of false twin is a typically a narcissist who is using you and is cloning your personality, hence why they can feel like a TF but they really arent since they just want something you have.

And yes, I argued since like I said before, I think people need to have some logical reasoning skills to form a decent theory behind if they really have a TF or not, since if not, nothing is stopping someone from saying anyone is their twin flame. If you can back up a theory decently, I like to hear it, but if your rational behind someone being a twin flame is "oh I just know" or "oh well, my dog told me" or just something that just isnt really that measurable, then, whats the stop me from just saying the same stuff?

My situation with who I think could be my TF has some plausibility. If your situation doesnt have any plausibility, then its probably not a thing. I dont know what your actually experiencing or what the deal is, but so far Im personally not seeing it based on what your telling me. I could be wrong and maybe you can prove me wrong, but thats just my honest opinion.

[FallingLeaves]

hm i never said either that I think the person who was then wasn't was back to being a 'was' either????????

I'm quite happy she's gone it makes my life so much better!

But yeah i think we confuse each other lol!

[Gem]

I think there's real feelings, and then there's a story about a twin flame. That story can be used to keep the feeling alive, so the story becomes mixed up with the feeling. That's why to a flamer it sounds like their 'experience' is being denied when people only have doubts about the story. My view is no one is 'your TF'. That's only a story, but once the story is entwined with the feeling it's very hard to separate them. You'd have to drop the story to see what is really there, but that's scary because without the story, would the feeling continue to recur?

[FallingLeaves]

actually in my own case, I went through the 'feelings' that are described by many twin flame aficionados for a good 25 years before I even heard the phrase 'twin flame'. I was a massive chaser for a very, very, very long time. If only in spirit.... this time i remembered not to be pushy to the other at some point after only a couple of years... but the synchronicities that keep me attracted are hard a hard thing to get rid of...

In fact I didn't find out about twin flames until I came to this very forum, in 2014.

It was like a totally new concept to me, that other people might suffer with this affliction too?????? so that is why I know the story didn't come first and then attract all sorts of other wants and desires. At least for me. lol..

[Gem]

Originally Posted by FallingLeaves

At least for me. lol..

If I have feelings for someone and they don't reciprocate - it's actually pretty simple. The answer is no.

[FallingLeaves]

Originally Posted by Gem

If I have feelings for someone and they don't reciprocate - it's actually pretty simple. The answer is no.

yes that is pretty simple, but for some reason I am not wired not to be able to accept the simplicity of it at face value. I just get obsessive...

I so wish I could have gotten over it and I even tried to forestall it before it even happened, but got dragged in anyway sigh.... and there have been *so* many times I just wished I could be over this already as obviously it can't go anywhere lol...

what is the point of going through something so pointless? I knew that for a very long time but it still didn't help me get past it... ughhhh....

there is always the hope, that something will be different... tomorrow... than it was... today... and even when I know enough to know with my mind that that simply isn't true, I still FEEL like it could be true and it is like a fast-moving train trying to stop itself. And whenever I tried I just got hit with so many synchronicities so fast that I just immediately wanted to go back to believing in tomorrow again...

But I can't just set stopping in motion either and then go back to autopilot like everyone seems to, I have to concentrate on holding on to the brakes hard for a very long time. It takes time, and effort, and what a mess while it is happening! And to make it worse I don't even WANT to do it, and the only reason I'm doing it at all is because I'm finally at the point where it hurts more to keep going than it does to try to stop... but it is a lot of hurt either way.

And for all this effort I've done to get past it even to the point I'm at now, all I get to hope for is having to face the whole thing yet again, at some life in the future... and there is absolutely nothing I can do to prepare myself for that or soften the blow either. More of this horror. On top of all the times and ways it has played out in the past. Just so frustrating.

BTW it makes it even worse that in just talking about it I've wished for it again. The LOA being real in my mind but it stings me rather than being pleasnat... but i'm so very tired of holding my tongue all the time and it seems better at this point just to hurt. And I guess I'm gonna have to anyway sigh...

[SMT3Master227]

Originally Posted by FallingLeaves

yes that is pretty simple, but for some reason I am not wired not to be able to accept the simplicity of it at face value. I just get obsessive...

I so wish I could have gotten over it and I even tried to forestall it before it even happened, but got dragged in anyway sigh.... and there have been *so* many times I just wished I could be over this already as obviously it can't go anywhere lol...

what is the point of going through something so pointless? I knew that for a very long time but it still didn't help me get past it... ughhhh....

there is always the hope, that something will be different... tomorrow... than it was... today... and even when I know enough to know with my mind that that simply isn't true, I still FEEL like it could be true and it is like a fast-moving train trying to stop itself. And whenever I tried I just got hit with so many synchronicities so fast that I just immediately wanted to go back to believing in tomorrow again...

But I can't just set stopping in motion either and then go back to autopilot like everyone seems to, I have to concentrate on holding on to the brakes hard for a very long time. It takes time, and effort, and what a mess while it is happening! And to make it worse I don't even WANT to do it, and the only reason I'm doing it at all is because I'm finally at the point where it hurts more to keep going than it does to try to stop... but it is a lot of hurt either way.

And for all this effort I've done to get past it even to the point I'm at now, all I get to hope for is having to face the whole thing yet again, at some life in the future... and there is absolutely nothing I can do to prepare myself for that or soften the blow either. More of this horror. On top of all the times and ways it has played out in the past. Just so frustrating.

BTW it makes it even worse that in just talking about it I've wished for it again. The LOA being real in my mind but it stings me rather than being pleasnat... but i'm so very tired of holding my tongue all the time and it seems better at this point just to hurt. And I guess I'm gonna have to anyway sigh...

Im curious but did the person you think is your TF tell you no, they arent interested? Since if thats the case, lol yeah I mean, how do you think this is a TF then? Or better yet, how personal do you know this person in the first place? You cant really have a TF connection if there is no previous bond in the first place. Its like the people that say a celebrity is a twin flame, no they cant be unless you actually know them. Its not just "oh i feel their energy", its way more than that.

[SMT3Master227]

Originally Posted by Gem

I think there's real feelings, and then there's a story about a twin flame. That story can be used to keep the feeling alive, so the story becomes mixed up with the feeling. That's why to a flamer it sounds like their 'experience' is being denied when people only have doubts about the story. My view is no one is 'your TF'. That's only a story, but once the story is entwined with the feeling it's very hard to separate them. You'd have to drop the story to see what is really there, but that's scary because without the story, would the feeling continue to recur?

Yeah thats what I was thinking too. If you just think someone is your TF and there isnt really a good narrative to back up your feelings, then what do you really have? Ive read about how people think people they dont know are their TFs and I just dont get how people are thinking that. If you dont know someone on a somewhat deeper level, then what connection do you really have with them? It was like the one lady who kept trolling this professor that kept telling her to go away that she thought he was a TF...and she was married, like lol what are we even talking about? How do you have a connection with someone that you dont really know on a personal or emotional level?

The only reason I think some girl might be my TF is our 3 year history together. And as a dumb high school kid, things just flew over my head lol. I also had low self esteem back then and didnt realize this girl would have probably went out with me if I asked her. Since then, alot has changed, both for better and worse. My interests have caught up with hers and we live close by, but she had a terrible relationship that really messed her up. Like her brain is like soup at the moment and shes highly intelligent. If I ran into her again back in 2018, we would probably have been married by now, but sadly thats not how things played out.

Normally if a girl doesnt want to mess with me, I just move on, but I think the bonds we formed in the past makes this way different. We both understood each other in an emotional level, but trauma sucks. Its crazy how traumatic events can change us deeply. She went from being so sweet, bubbly, friendly, to withdrawn, cold, and probably mad at the world for how she got screwed over. I get it though since I went through a similar phase in 2013 after getting messed up with the wrong people. I hope some day I can find this girl again, but Im kind of just letting the universe do its thing since ultimately, she has to heal. We cant really be together in her current state. She needs to have a revelation like I did (or spirtual awakening some call it) that she doesnt want to be alone anymore like I did and we could meet up again, but until that day comes, Im just working on me.

Sides, I cant contact her, (could try again but obv bad idea since it wont go anywhere) not going to her city (since she would just get scared away if she saw me, even though would be very hard to find her), not looking at her social media, not chasing her friends (even though i need to call one of them at some point), sides daydreaming, not really putting much effort into this situation at the moment. Do I think she could really be my TF? Maybe. The TF theory makes sense here. We both kind of reflect each other in alot of ways, but im not even close to 100% certainty since Im just speculating based on the info infront of me.

[FallingLeaves]

no they never actually did tell me go away. Their mother told me they didn't want me. And that is what I listened to in the physical reality because I knew by now that if I didn't I would end up in the situation certain other people around here end up in.

But there is an awful lot of room for ambiguity in terms of what is 'true'. Because I wasn't told explicitly by her, I could have gone off in all sorts of fantasies about why we should be together anyway if I'd wanted to do that again. Or I could have done exactly what I did and said wait a minute, I can be such a nag maybe she wouldn't tell me directly because she didn't want to deal with me?

to me a key component of twin flames is that one doesn't want the other... so it all fit perfectly...

as far as being personal, I knew a lot of people I've met only briefly in this lifetime, in other times, other places, some pretty well. I guess next you are going to tell me my memories aren't any good just because they aren't from this one specific life I currently happen to be in?

I think that is like telling me only my memories of the last week are valid and every memory beyond that is made up. Which maybe you would have a valid point though as some people seem to live life in similar ways? But still...

Sigh.