Why all of a sudden do I feel this strong want to be with her???

#1 15-02-2011, 11:14 PM

Okay. I've known her for 23 years (this Spring). I've loved her that long as well. Since she is also a very close friend of my family, I see her from time to time. Sometimes, years can go by without us seeing or speaking to each other. However, when we do see or speak to each other, its as if we just saw or spoke to each other yesterday. So with that said, I can honestly say I've gotten used to the sporadic communication between us.

But now, all of sudden, over the past couple of months, I've been having this growing need/want for more interaction. And over the past few weeks since we spoke last, its gotten really strong. Like, i have this feeling that i want to be with her RIGHT NOW. I mean, not in a stalkerish kind of way, it's just that I really miss her a lot and its beginning to bother me that I'm feeling this way because it wasn't like this for me before.

I know we can't be together right now since we are both married (to the wrong people) but man, this is tough! I've been angry at myself for not being able to stop thinking about her. My stomach has been hurting so bad that my muscles have been aching around my solar plexus. Out of nowhere they just started hurting. I've even considered letting it all go so i can stop feeling this way because its too much. It feels like I'm involuntarily being pulled to her. What in heavens sake is going on????

#2 16-02-2011, 12:17 AM

At least you have someone you can "claim" to love. You should be grateful for that.

Adrienne · #3 16-02-2011, 12:52 AM

Perhaps this strong need to be with her, is partially caused by your feeling of being married to the wrong person? Not asking you to give an answer, but how long have you thought that ( being married to the wrong person ) ? There is a saying .....Grass is greener on the other side of the fence

#4 16-02-2011, 01:09 AM

Dream Angel, my relationship with my wife started out fine but she ruined it. Its complicated because we have small children. TF has small children too. I tried to leave a few years ago and it was the worst experience of my life. Ill be smarter the next time I leave.

It doesn't take much for any grass to be greener than the grass I'm in. I dont think this feeling of wanting to be with her has heightened because of my bad marriage because their have been worse times in my marriage and my feeling to be with TF remained the same as it has always been. My feelings for TF aren't in anyway connected to my marriage. I make sure of that, I keep them separate.

Adrienne · #5 16-02-2011, 01:12 AM

Spring, I am sorry for misunderstanding your situation

Life can be so complicated at times, I was speaking without knowing the " rest of the story ".

Best wishes to you and your TF

blessings,
Dream Angel xx

#6 16-02-2011, 09:20 PM

Maybe you need to be on your own. Sounds like you need to be in the best place for YOU in order for you to grow and be ready for your purpose in life.
Maybe this is what shes telling you. Maybe she wants you to make the first move.I say 'maybe' a lot but one thing I'm sure of is you love your children. So to have a dad who has become all he needs to be is more important isnt it?

but YOU KNOW whats right,I dont know you situation better than you obviously so if I'm getting it all wrong I do apologise.

Spiritlite · #7 16-02-2011, 09:31 PM

I can't and won't give you advice on this matter, but I say follow your gut, don't do anything very quickly, and take time to think things over.
Spiritlite.

#8 17-02-2011, 01:26 AM

Hey...
Im not sure if i have any words of advice.. just wanted to say, I understand, I am in a similar situation and its so hard.. and I have also had certain times when its alot harder, I want to be with him so much, and others when i am content with how has to be..
my tf and i talk on the phone or text everyday but that is all... we keep it plutonic, its always there under the surface though.. its really really hard for me, sometimes i wonder if cutting off communication would be better, but that is next to impossible because of the work we do together makes really good money.. then there i times i just want to go to him.. forget everything else, I so wish i could, but I cant...

awakeningheart · #9 17-02-2011, 10:54 AM

I am in a similar situation, although I wouldn't say I'm married to the 'wrong' person. I am married to my soulmate but I do have a tf in the picture. I figure that is what the whole TF experience is about - separation and learning through love that there is no 'true' separation. Maybe you both have to work through your karma with your spouses and come out the other side as stronger, wiser, more 'awakened' human beings. Then, and only then, can you both be together. I agree with Spiritlite - follow your gut instinct and don't do anything too quickly. If it feels to 'messy' to attempt to be together,then it probably is.