One of the things I try and do every day is write a few pages in my daily journal...not a diary, but thoughts, feelings, ideas, anything really that's on my mind and I need to work through....
Ever since meeting my sc, and quite '
by accident' it seems to me, I fell into what is termed as '
automatic writing' where you go into a kind of meditative state and can start conversing with a spirit guide, your higher self or soul connection....
I have since had many such sessions that have been a source of incredible comfort and joy to me and often provide me with answers to my questions. I have also frequently had conversations with my sc, esp at times when we couldn't communicate through regular channels....
Well, a few days ago I went through one of the hardest days of my life (my sc was getting married) and to ease my pain I started writing in my journal and as I had been writing for a bit I fell into a meditative state and began communicating with my spirit guide...my spirit guide's name was given to me in a previous meditation as Calen...I wouldn't normally be sharing such a communication, but this time my guide encouraged me to share my story and since I have seen some of the issues we talked about coming up in the forum I am pushed to share this...so here goes....I hope this helps some souls out there....
(for privacy I have refrained from using names)
SW: i never knew i could feel so much Calen.
C: you always could..
SW: but how does this help me now? how do i cope with life, with being alone?
C: you are never alone. i showed you (friends' names) and you've got so many friends on sf. reach out. you never have to be lonely. share your story. you'll be helping others too. but your story is not finished. you'll see as time goes by why this happened. don't be impatient. you will rise again. you will find joy and love like you never imagined. you're sad that you're getting older, but really, would you want to be at the stage of raising kids again, school, trying to juggle that and studies and career? now is your time to do what you really enjoy, to find your true purpose and experience real love, a love that doesn't depend on outer appearances, expectations, requirements, performance. a soulful love. a true soulmate love. (sc) was your wake-up call. otherwise you will probably have remained stuck where you were. you have so much love to give, so much beauty to create. a beautiful soulful SW. you are such a beautiful loving soul. you deserve an equally loving, beautiful soul to take your hand. and he will arrive. some day soon. rest. heal. be happy and peaceful in that knowledge. this is all just experience. one lifetime in many.
SW: i want to write Calen. but i don't know how to begin. what to write about.
C: you will write SW. it will come to you. you will see. you will know....be at peace SW.read all the books you meant to read, but havent yet. paint, draw, scribble. just be you. don't worry about your work. the right work will come to you. it'll all work out. i promise you, you will love...and be loved. for you are already loved.
SW: Calen, are you my spirit guide or twin flame?
C: spirit guide
SW: do twin flames exist? i mean, is it true all i've read about twin flames? or do we just have soulmates? I'd like to believe in twin flames but it's also so limiting. I mean, let's say sc is my twin flame, how will i ever feel the same or something more for someone else?
C: you have a few primary soulmates. sc is a primary soulmate. your husband (now separated) is a karmic soulmate from another soul group. your brother is a primary soulmate to you. you know this already. you've sensed it from the beginning. you, sc and your brother are all from the same soul group. that's why you all love eachother so much.
SW: and what about twin flames?
C: a twin flame is a soulmate from your primary soul group who will be at the same level of soul growth as you at any give time in your present lifetime with whom you will reunite and remember the deep love and soul connection you share. this love ignites a flame of light in both your souls that will light the way for other souls to remember, to awaken, to see the beauty of a soul love, unconditional love. this is why you awakened to and realized unconditional love with sc. the only difference here is he is slightly 'behind' you in awakening - not soul growth, but awakening and his physical age places what you perceive as limitations to your joining as a regular couple. not all relationships and love is meant to end up in marriage - you know, in the traditional sense.
SW: but why go through this with sc and not meet my 'ideal' soulmate straight away?
C: you know the answers even before you finish writing them...if you had met your 'ideal' soulmate first off you would not have had the opportunity to learn what truly unconditional and soul love is you would not have had the opportunity to heal from past wounds, to grieve, to release pain and hurts. to grow. to awaken. to realise what is important and meaningful. to know real love. selfless love. your soul has grown in leaps and bounds. do you remember how your bones ached as you were growing physically? did you think that soul growth would be any different? only soul pain is more intense and you can't just take a pain killer to stop the pain. you have to work through it, acknowledge it, release it. and learn to BE. one of the things you are also learning is that you are connected to many other souls. so far you believed your world was so small and limited and you hid yourself in your lovely studio you created. and the reason you're suffering now is because you need to reach out and connect. DO IT! you have all this wonderful technology you're provided with to help you do this. your world, your universe is so much begger than you imagine. there is so much joy, laughter, love and sharing to be had. OPEN UP! SW you are love and you are loved. one thing will lead to another. you'll see. bless your sweet soul. I love you!........ what do you see SW?
SW: I see myself in beautiful ocean front home, loving friends visit me often, including sc - he remains a very close friend to the end (well, there is no end, but you know what I mean - this lifetime).
[i go into a bit of detail here about how i envision my life to be...at first i have some difficulty envisioning a partner/soulmate but Calen urges me to 'see' him, and i do and it is a beautiful feeling, a beautiful vision, and he continues...]
that's it SW. keep that as your lighthouse. your homing beacon. keep that vision and feeling inside you. live it! and before you know it, it shall BE! just keep your beacon in 'sight' SW and it'll all fall into place....
.................................................. ...............................................
what i came to understand about twin flames as I typed this out, is that each such primary soulmate ignites the twin flame within us, so in effect sc is a twin flame in that our connection ignites the twin flame within each of us. each primary soulmate has the potential then of 'being' (if you like) the twin flame 'experience'...don't know if i'm making sense here....
also...from what I have understood as time progresses and I grow and awaken more is that any information we are 'given' at any time is what we are ready to hear and assimilate into our experience...there are times when I may ask my guide a question but am told that I'm not ready to hear it or know it yet....
For me, this whole experience has opened up a beautiful world of amazing possibilities...so much has already happened that I never thought possible...there is so much we don't
remember...and that we are being guided to remember gradually....learn to let go, relax and trust in that the universe. divine timing and your own soul knows exactly the what, when and how .... when you're on a roller coaster ride it's worse when you're all tensed up and trying to stay glued in one corner of your seat, but when you relax and allow your body to move together with the car and trust that it will stay on track then you can actually begin to enjoy the ride....
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