How to keep the power in this situation

Guff779 · #1 13-09-2023, 09:09 AM

I've been bullied, abused, ostracised by relatives

They only ask my sister for info

THIS:

How do I keep the power from my uncle asking my sister for info so he is kind of discrediting me, he just thinks he can play people about

To keep the power:

-never be there
-keep my distance
-be away
-be silent
-dont engage with them
-dont care
-dont think
-be quiet

Bluto · #2 13-09-2023, 02:57 PM

He who cares less holds the power.

iamthat · #3 13-09-2023, 05:35 PM

Ah, Guff779, what can we say?

You have made this same post many times before, raising the same issues in your life.

Are you expecting us to give you different responses this time round?

Have you actually tried to apply any of the advice you were given previously?

You were bullied and abused. So forgive, forgive, forgive.

You seem to live in a constant state of resistance to your life and your family. No wonder you are so dissatisfied with your life.

Why not try doing something different? How about loving your sister and your uncle, however they are, whatever they do.

If you do not change then your life will not change. But if you do change then you might just find some peace and happiness.

Peace

Unseeking Seeker · #4 14-09-2023, 03:31 AM

View toxic people with the same nonchalant curiosity as when viewing a poisonous reptile in a zoo ~ from a safe distance! Nurture innate joy of aliveness ever aglow in the heart.

TheCosmicLeo · #5 17-10-2023, 04:57 AM

It all starts with your mental fortitude and understanding that people will do things that you might not like or appreciate.

But when you practice strengthening your mental fortitude you will be able to show them that you are unphased by their careless actions.

What you are doing is viewing a situation on how you can control others rather than focusing on how to bringing power back into what you CAN control.

Rethink it as what you can do that will be better for yourself so this cycle doesn't keep negatively affecting you.

hallow · #6 06-11-2023, 01:53 PM

Make light of the topic, make fun of yourself. You seem to know how there going to respond so respond first. You're in control. Like this comedian. https://youtube.com/shorts/cFqNN5EJv...7GPG4D7GgjLlNf

vortex · #7 06-11-2023, 05:41 PM

my list if it was me

why am i making this my problem
what else is possible here
what am i not seeing
send love to all inducing the self
why do i feel this way
who am i making wrong
how can accept all that is in this situation

i use this all the time in situations to get my power back

hallow · #8 09-11-2023, 03:49 AM

One thing to think about, no one is perfect. Own everything you do, even your "faults". Like the comedian, he is old and just fatherd twins. A lot of people can find flat in this. But he owns it. Buy owning that situation it makes it difficult for someone else to. He is saying yes I fatherd children at an old age, that's my choice I am very happy with. How can another person really argue that unless there a total douchbag and who cares about them anyway.

Gem · #9 09-11-2023, 06:04 AM

If bullied, abused and ostracised you'd usually have to get clear, but family is complex, so you gotta set boundaries for them and make sure they aren't crossed - no matter what. If people come at you, say, "What you're doing is unacceptable and it has to stop". They will then try to test your mettle, so once you draw the line, you have to back it up. When people learn that how they treat you is dictated by your consent, they'll know where they stand and you'll be respected.

If Uncs wants to go to sis and leave you out of it, that's up to him and you've no right interfering. If that leaves you out, no worries, waddya gunna do? But if their convos result in some actions against you, that's when you draw the line.

The last thing is, this is an exertion of your power, so you have to be completely ethical, stay within your rights, and make sure you aren't overreaching into anyone's space.

That's the secret sauce, dude.

vortex · #10 09-11-2023, 05:00 PM

because this is family it has to be worked out more than walk away
simply you cant change anyone, forced builds resentment
the simplistic way is acceptance of the situation

the hardest is to see how you be in the dynamics of the relationship and change how you be in it
this will change how they be to you or react to you and change to whole dynamics of the relationship

this is what i would do because i could not put up with all the drama it would create in my head