I don't like myself

[essvass]

Originally Posted by Esmatt

Hello there fellow spiritual seekers! I hope you have a great day and I wish you all the best. Here is my question. Is it possible to change?
The truth is, I dont like myself, at all. I dont like my body, I dont like face, I dont like my personality, I dont like any of it. It ruins my life. My entire life I have always wanted to be a good person, that wants to love others and have others love and care for me back. But the thing is, I just dont get along with people. Im not an ******* or anything like that, its just that I find myself in social situations, people find me so boring, or so bland that they dont even bother talking to me. And it doesnt even matter where Im at or whom Im talking to, my "vibration" or whatever you wanna call it always triggers that respons in people, they always lose interest immediatly, this is why I've had depression for so many years, people dont like me, my social status is as low as it can get and I am incapable of satisfying societys expectations. I've tried liking myself, but changing is so hard, I dont know what to do. I hope any of you could shed some light into this, thank you.

Hi Esmatt,

Are you still here? You haven't answered any posts and I don't know if you read them. I have something to say too, but I don't know if you need it.

Blessings,

[Akc1213]

Esmatt- I have been thinking about you a lot today. Are you okay? To all of you that commented... has anyone heard from Esmatt? Lets all send love and light Esmatt's way....

[Emmalevine]

I'm sure Esmatt will come back to the thread if/when the time is right for her/him. I don't always feel like responding straight away especially when the subject matter is very personal and/or the responses have been thought provoking.

[Akc1213]

Originally Posted by Emmalevine

I'm sure Esmatt will come back to the thread if/when the time is right for her/him. I don't always feel like responding straight away especially when the subject matter is very personal and/or the responses have been thought provoking.

Thank you Emmalevine- you are so right.

[Solarian]

Originally Posted by Esmatt

Hello there fellow spiritual seekers! I hope you have a great day and I wish you all the best. Here is my question. Is it possible to change?
The truth is, I dont like myself, at all. I dont like my body, I dont like face, I dont like my personality, I dont like any of it. It ruins my life. My entire life I have always wanted to be a good person, that wants to love others and have others love and care for me back. But the thing is, I just dont get along with people. Im not an ******* or anything like that, its just that I find myself in social situations, people find me so boring, or so bland that they dont even bother talking to me. And it doesnt even matter where Im at or whom Im talking to, my "vibration" or whatever you wanna call it always triggers that respons in people, they always lose interest immediatly, this is why I've had depression for so many years, people dont like me, my social status is as low as it can get and I am incapable of satisfying societys expectations. I've tried liking myself, but changing is so hard, I dont know what to do. I hope any of you could shed some light into this, thank you.

Listen to me! I was the exact same way, and I am still dissatisfied with myself, but I have progressed and come a long way. I am growing. And you will too.

However what helped for me was having a child. Don't go and just make a baby, ok haha! But I want to love my two year old. I want the best for her. But first I had to change myself and how I saw myself. They say to love others, you must love yourself first. And I did not even know what it meant until she came into my life. But the value of my love, it's worth, was nothing if I did not love and care my self first. It did not happen right away...but I realized how much I want to love her, the worth I want to put in the love I have for her. It unravels on its own after that.

Take time to embrace yourself. Do not change yourself just for yourself, but for others as well. Do not change yourself for others only, but also for yourself. Appreciate and admire the beauty in daily things in life. Find something to love, let that love grow and allow yourself to be nurtured. You are a beautiful soul and you already have some self love for seeking answers and advice.

You ARE a master piece. Art is not meant to be beautiful. It is meant to make you feel something.

[seekerAK]

Originally Posted by Esmatt

Hello there fellow spiritual seekers! I hope you have a great day and I wish you all the best. Here is my question. Is it possible to change?
The truth is, I dont like myself, at all. I dont like my body, I dont like face, I dont like my personality, I dont like any of it. It ruins my life. My entire life I have always wanted to be a good person, that wants to love others and have others love and care for me back. But the thing is, I just dont get along with people. Im not an ******* or anything like that, its just that I find myself in social situations, people find me so boring, or so bland that they dont even bother talking to me. And it doesnt even matter where Im at or whom Im talking to, my "vibration" or whatever you wanna call it always triggers that respons in people, they always lose interest immediatly, this is why I've had depression for so many years, people dont like me, my social status is as low as it can get and I am incapable of satisfying societys expectations. I've tried liking myself, but changing is so hard, I dont know what to do. I hope any of you could shed some light into this, thank you.

Esmatt, there is no reason for you to change to please other people or get them to like you.

Each of us is meant to be unique and doing things or behaving in a certain way so people like us or accept us means we will always be a slave to their judgements/opinions about us. Once you go down that road there's nothing you'll be able to do to please everybody. Even if you are 'perfect' in the eyes of some, others will find something 'wrong' with you. Remember that to be like that means you are like them or their image of what a person should be like and in most cases their image of the 'perfect' person is actually a distorted image based on what today's society look for in people such as having the perfect body (that of a model), being handsome/beautiful, having a very high IQ, being very rich and 'successful' in life, being popular with the opposite sex, driving a fast car, being able to be charming at a social gathering and making people laugh by cracking jokes and entertaining them with stories (sometimes false or exaggerated), etc.

Understand that there's nothing wrong if anyone possesses some or all of the above qualities, but it is not necessary for us to present that image to please others because to do so would mean we are not being our true selves. You, as an individual, are perfect since you are exactly what or who you are supposed to be at this point in time due to the needs of your spirit.

Being true to yourself does not only mean to admit what you believe to be the truth at any time but to let your real self shine. The beauty that each of us have inside us is the real beauty and we should not hide it from others because of what others may think of us. You are love and possess the divine goodness inside you. Let it blossom. People may even be able to notice how beautiful you really are as a person and not someone who is fake/artificial, or someone having physical beauty but being rotten inside. Their respect for you will then grow and it will not be based on superficial qualities/achievements. They will then love you because they have recognized the divine beauty within you and not because you drive a Ferrari.

Peace and blessings

[Oraclm]

Hi esmatt

I am new to this forum but have been involved in spiritual work for much longer.
I discovered that unblemished self honesty is all that's needed for change. It takes patience and persistence but is also enjoyable.
Hope this helps

[manishk012]

Originally Posted by Esmatt

Hello there fellow spiritual seekers! I hope you have a great day and I wish you all the best. Here is my question. Is it possible to change?
The truth is, I dont like myself, at all. I dont like my body, I dont like face, I dont like my personality, I dont like any of it. It ruins my life. My entire life I have always wanted to be a good person, that wants to love others and have others love and care for me back. But the thing is, I just dont get along with people. Im not an ******* or anything like that, its just that I find myself in social situations, people find me so boring, or so bland that they dont even bother talking to me. And it doesnt even matter where Im at or whom Im talking to, my "vibration" or whatever you wanna call it always triggers that respons in people, they always lose interest immediatly, this is why I've had depression for so many years, people dont like me, my social status is as low as it can get and I am incapable of satisfying societys expectations. I've tried liking myself, but changing is so hard, I dont know what to do. I hope any of you could shed some light into this, thank you.

You are neither the mind or body. Being in that awareness might help you to overcome.

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by Esmatt

Hello there fellow spiritual seekers! I hope you have a great day and I wish you all the best. Here is my question. Is it possible to change?
The truth is, I dont like myself, at all. I dont like my body, I dont like face, I dont like my personality, I dont like any of it. It ruins my life. My entire life I have always wanted to be a good person, that wants to love others and have others love and care for me back. But the thing is, I just dont get along with people. Im not an ******* or anything like that, its just that I find myself in social situations, people find me so boring, or so bland that they dont even bother talking to me. And it doesnt even matter where Im at or whom Im talking to, my "vibration" or whatever you wanna call it always triggers that respons in people, they always lose interest immediatly, this is why I've had depression for so many years, people dont like me, my social status is as low as it can get and I am incapable of satisfying societys expectations. I've tried liking myself, but changing is so hard, I dont know what to do. I hope any of you could shed some light into this, thank you.

You too eh?

I discovered, why bother trying to change for other people when they just ignore me anyway? They aren't worth changing for! If you change to please others, you'll only end up hating yourself even more because you aren't being true to your own nature.

I don't hate myself and I don't like myself - I have no self-image whatsoever.

However, if people cannot accept me for who I am...well, that's their loss and you may only end up with a few good/true friends, but that's better than hundreds of 'hangers on'.

Contrary to popular belief, you don't need to like/love yourself, you just need to be yourself, but you have to define what that is or is going to be to you and that's really difficult when one doesn't have a clue.

Start with what you like to do...passtimes you find enjoyable...music you like...books you like to read. Make a list of your strengths and those things you are good at...define your goals.

It took me 14 months to build an identity from scratch and I don't have any friends, but I'm learning to live without the need for them...funny, seeing as how I am reading 'How to Win Friends and Influence People' by Dale Carnegie right now (for fun).

You'll also find that many people/society will only like you according to how much money you have anyway...friendship is totally overrated.

Good thing...best thing about it is if you don't associate with society in any way, shape or form and you don't have any identity, ego or notion of 'self' either, the only thing left is God - so Nirvana/Samadhi/Enlightenment is basically assured!

It is a 'trade-off' or 'consolation prize' the universe offers for being highly unpopular, so that's one really good thing about it.

People like us don't have any attachments to worry about, we don't have any responsibility, we don't have expectations to live up to, we don't have to put up with stupidity...we can do what we want and when we want...it's quite liberating, actually.

[dream jo]

yep no fealin oftn thgn im a bad persn evn mom says imevil bt shes gt demtsah i agrea iv got bad in sid me i thmg mots of us sea bad i u s insted of gud in us iv nevr evr saw gud me i no a few say im a sant u cud say but i dnt se a it i dntt
i seam 2 sea mor gud in pepel i do my slf
i seam 2 sea mor bad in me i sea oht epel
iv en thrt ecry 1s betr thn me still do

so yea i get u
setm thng gt me thy do
pepel i dt no tryn 2 hg me or setn sonds relly seams 2 bug me
chnge upst m eu cud say
i thng most of sprits pele dontt lk chnge i no i 1 o thm chng sertn sonds pele tellin me im a bad egg wish i belve i do do do