Woke at 4am dreaming of partners baby niece and deep feelings

[Ladyrose92]

I Woke up at 4am and was dreaming of my partners baby niece at her house. She needed comforting and my partner was holding her on the sofa at his brothers house and he was beginning to feed her. I was sitting on another sofa there watching, looking at her soft beautiful hair and tiny body and wishing it was me that was holding her and caring for her. I felt sad and wanted to stroke her hair and cuddle. My partners niece is 18 months old now but in the dream she was a bit younger maybe 12 months old.

I felt sad when I woke up and asked what this dream message was and I felt initially it was because I want my own baby. Also has feelings that the baby could represent me and wanting to look after myself, possibly because my partner had been disrespectful towards me last night and I went to bed early feeling upset and alone. Just to put it into perspective, he asked me if I would get his takeaway order from the front door, it was 10pm, he always asks me and I always do it and I always express I don't like doing it but sometimes I will say no and he'll just cut me off, I don't ever want to do it as I loathe answering the door to delivery drivers late at night, it scares me. Once I broke down in tears as I had this strange encounter with a young man delivery driver that looked like he wanted to kill me, I felt my energy had been violated it was a weird experience for me. So I feel even more dubious about this situation now. I said I wouldn't go to the door tonight and he had better not get the hump with me like he usually does, which looking at him about 10 minutes later he is seething and started being nasty when I asked if he was annoyed at me. In the other room I could hear him calling me selfish this and that. When I was In bed I also communicated to God that I feel selfish for wanting a child. I heard in reply that he will not have a baby in my womb. Also my younger sister didn't come over to my home last night when we had planned to last week so I was and still am feeling alone but like I don't want people in my life that hurt and disappoint me, maybe I feel that way about myself ultimately. Another strong feeling arising to the surface is I also feel frustrated lately that my partner keeps arranging for us to go to see people that take us away from our agreements and goals as a couple and he accepts events to go to that honestly I dont want to go to but I feel I need to, to support him and be a joint team, however I'm feeling very down about all these feelings. I feel this is a small snippet of a dream but has great meaning attached to it, but I'm not sure exactly what this dream means. Interpretation is greatly appreciated, especially if this is a deeper message to this overriding feeling I have. Thank you.

[H:O:R:A:C:E]

a child is the product of love. i'll assume that that's what you're wanting to
be involved with creating. bring yourself into vibrancy; harmonize with the
universe's freely available loving energies. everything else proceeds from there.

if there's an "overriding feeling", you can make it be one of peace and joy.
that is your choice.
make that be your 'baseline frequency' and all things will need to comply to
that in order to relate to you.

just my opinion.
think of yourself as a processor; a machine that converts everything into
love, peace, and joy. each 'difficulty' you are presented with is just another
opportunity for you to perform your conversion. when confronted with
energies which don't want to be converted, just let them go by.
the very basic choice is to choose for joy... let everything serve that
purpose for you, and let all noncompliant things pass.

[django]

Is there any reason he can't go to the door and get his takeaway order himself?

I think the baby in your dream is you, and in the end only you can actually take care of yourself in a spiritual sense, but it also sounds like you need to take better care of yourself on the earth level. Being bossed around doesn't sound like it's good for you.

A personal question which you don't have to answer, do you think you're worthy of respect?

[Ladyrose92]

Yes I had never thought of it that way but what I do want and need is love. I see and understand what you mean about making love my frequency and therefore this is what I will attract. It's hard sometimes, I wake up confused in emotions and find the day difficult, but I will use the exercise you suggest, thank you!

Not really, at the time he was in his boxers and didn't want to get dressed but I was in my PJ's anyway. Usually he is undressed at home and that's why he asks me to go, I always say just put some trousers on and he gets all sulky, to save the peace I just do it, but I always feel like I am cheating myself. The last two times I refused and went to bed without him, he thanked me the next day saying it was too late to eat anyway or would have been a waste of money. I feel at the time in situations like this, my emotions are played upon to get me to do what the other person wants. I do struggle with taking care of myself in the physical world. I hate being told what to do, especially against my will. I do feel worthy of respect, but I guess there is doubt there because I don't want the other person to be upset with me so I guess that I give up my own respect to please them. I do believe I am worthy, but it has been a constant process I have been building on, as growing up I was encouraged to behave in this pleasing way too. I guess I give up my respect for acceptance and I don't want to do this any longer. Thank you for your response.

[H:O:R:A:C:E]

you are love Ladyrose92. that which created your earthly form was
purely loving energy. for you to 'process energy' is to transform it into
more of yourself. when discordant energies arrive that don't wish to be
processed in that way, you can let them be... as if they were food that's
disagreeable to your system [like yogurt!, lol]. when people provide you
with options which would cause you to change from a loving being in order
to 'process', it's a sign to opt out... it's not your function to be unhappy.

for the specific problem that your partner has in remembering to prepare
himself for the tasks he's set for himself (by ordering delivery)... maybe he
can set out some "answering the door clothes" [sweat pants & t shirt] near
the door, to be used for that purpose.

[Ladyrose92]

I see, this makes sense to me, the way you describe this I can clearly see the difference of when I am feeling my loving self, then something crops up that knocks me off balance and I feel rubbish, so from what you say, I can see how I should notice this discordant energy for what it is, and let it/them be. I feel like before 10 years ago, I was always happy, having fun, and embodying higher energies of love, but since then I feel like I've been dragged down so much, but I am happy to work on just being who I am.

This can be applied to my family, to understand why I just can't bear being with them, is that they constantly make me feel like that, bringing discordant energies into my life. Now with what you say, I can see and understand why I've wanted to separate myself from them but have felt bad in doing so. Now with this understanding, I don't feel so bad about it but see I am doing what's best for me!

Also, applying that to my partner, when he makes me feel like I need to start processing like you say, then I just need to disconnect and do what's best for me, like engaging in peaceful and loving situations.

Yes, I think its laziness and knowing I will just do it, but this will change now, I shall suggest some "answering the door clothes" lol I'm sure he won't find that amusing but hopefully the message sinks in, as it usually does when I stand my ground eventually lol Thank you for your words, they really help me to see the truth in this situation and understand myself more.

[Ladyrose92]

The night after this dream, and before the dream I had last night; I dreamt of having sex with my partners brother. I didn't want to post it as, one I felt bad, and two I felt it just meant parts of his character, I am now accepting in myself. In the past I have felt he was quiet selfish and just cared for himself, but now in light of this dream, I can see how it was probably a continuation of the dream to be selfish for myself and look after my own needs.