Out of the Fog (again), Feeling Better

[ssdm1]

After months in reunion with my twin I came to a point last week where I was feeling horrible about myself. I started feeling worthless, like no one wanted me and had two very low days. I realized it was my twin who was causing these feelings in me by his indecisiveness on several occasions.

I've woke up again, realized it was him and confronted him on how he was making me feel. No one we love should make us feel bad. I feel so much lighter, feel myself again after many months. I no longer feel I want to do or accept anything to keep him around. I've found myself again, and this feels so good!

He and I worked through things and are in good place.

Thank you everyone for your support. It is so good to have a place where I can vent and people really understand.

[RedBasket]

Originally Posted by ssdm1

I started feeling worthless, like no one wanted me and had two very low days. I realized it was my twin who was causing these feelings in me by his indecisiveness on several occasions.

I'm glad you are feeling better, and that you have had direct communication with your twin on this Most Important topic. I'm glad that it has strengthened your bond too. I can well imagine that twins in reunion will keep stirring things up for each other!

One thing I notice about your language to point out is that you seem to be making your own emotions about yourself "conditional" on your twin, his behavior, indecisiveness, etc.

Do you feel any different in terms of your own personal power and value if you shift the language to something like this:

"I started feeling worthless ... I realized my feelings about myself were unsteady and noticed my twin was unsteady around me too. When he is indecisive around me I believe I can work on staying strong and steady with how I feel about my own self worth, and as I do so, if he shows any indecisiveness around me, it won't change the good ways I feel about myself."

I bring this point of language up because I don't want your love for your twin to detract from your love for yourself during bumpy patches.

[FallingLeaves]

Originally Posted by ssdm1

After months in reunion with my twin I came to a point last week where I was feeling horrible about myself. I started feeling worthless, like no one wanted me and had two very low days. I realized it was my twin who was causing these feelings in me by his indecisiveness on several occasions.

I've woke up again, realized it was him and confronted him on how he was making me feel. No one we love should make us feel bad. I feel so much lighter, feel myself again after many months. I no longer feel I want to do or accept anything to keep him around. I've found myself again, and this feels so good!

He and I worked through things and are in good place.

Thank you everyone for your support. It is so good to have a place where I can vent and people really understand.

When people ignored me in the past I got on my high horse quickly. But when it happened again, recently, I let the hurt in, and I was like, being hurt this way is *much* better than trying to control the situation to my liking.

[ssdm1]

Originally Posted by RedBasket

I'm glad you are feeling better, and that you have had direct communication with your twin on this Most Important topic. I'm glad that it has strengthened your bond too. I can well imagine that twins in reunion will keep stirring things up for each other!

One thing I notice about your language to point out is that you seem to be making your own emotions about yourself "conditional" on your twin, his behavior, indecisiveness, etc.

Do you feel any different in terms of your own personal power and value if you shift the language to something like this:

"I started feeling worthless ... I realized my feelings about myself were unsteady and noticed my twin was unsteady around me too. When he is indecisive around me I believe I can work on staying strong and steady with how I feel about my own self worth, and as I do so, if he shows any indecisiveness around me, it won't change the good ways I feel about myself."

I bring this point of language up because I don't want your love for your twin to detract from your love for yourself during bumpy patches.

This is an excellent point you make and yes I do feel he right now is unsteady around me. Can I stay strong and steady, good question and something I definitely need to think about and look at. Always learning.

Right now I think I need to take a step back after our fight and really look at myself and my part in it. I know he's there but I think he needs space from me a little too.

Thanks so much.

[RedBasket]

I'm glad my words resonated and that you are finding the steps in your path to help you stay strong, grounded, and true to yourself.

I think our twins are the person who do both things for us so strongly - they make us remember who we are on the one hand and that vibrational spark of recognition is so POWERFUL! Nothing in the world compares to it. At the same time, they can pull us out of that zone of "being our true selves" more quickly and devastatingly than any other person or experience.

I truly think this dual power is at the heart of separation. The longing to merge while also feeling the pull to shine brightly as our unique self - that takes some effort to uncover all those layers.

I hope it is a good regrouping for you both. I believe it will be in my heart.