Relating to the opposite sex

[A human Being]

I guess this is a variation on the 'Can men and women just be friends?' question, though that question leaves me feeling a little sad that it's even up for debate, tbh - I mean surely we can, can't we?!

There's a common consensus, I think, that there's always going to be a sexual undercurrent between women and men, and I would probably go along with that - but is that actually a bad thing? I mean it's just unavoidable, it seems to me, because we are sexual beings, after all, and it's an aspect of our nature that's to be enjoyed I think. Of course it's also vitally important to be responsible, too, all kinds of issues and heartache can materialise when we behave irresponsibly in relationships - I suppose the only thing that matters for me is, Is love present, too? When love is present - not infatuation, or obsession, or neediness, but true love - then for me respect is also present, and so boundaries aren't going to be breached without consent, and then relationships can be playful, flirty, affectionate, and - most importantly - loving.

I think it actually causes just as many issues when we try to deny or suppress that sexual undercurrent, it seems to me that this actually reinforces the sense of separation between men and women because there can be a guardedness there, a wariness. I've experienced this with a female friend with whom I have a bit of a history - long story, I didn't sleep with her but it still belongs in my 'Well You Handled That Like An Insensitive Berk!' file and there's some awkwardness between us, largely because there's still a mutual attraction but also hurt feelings and unexpressed resentment (I tried broaching the subject with her but she was evasive, she doesn't find it easy to express these feelings). So in that case I think the sexual undercurrent creates an issue because the emotional connection is lacking, and I guess that's what it comes down to for me.

So yeah, just interested to hear about other people's views and experiences of relating to the opposite sex :)