A thread for and about Introverts

RedEmbers · #1 30-08-2016, 09:29 AM

Hello...

I am a curious introverted fellow I am wondering about fellow introverts...

How often do you find you need to socialise?

For me it's once a week - once a fortnight. I am quite happy on my own every day for 6-13 days... then one session (about 2-4 hours) of socialising then I am done for another few weeks.

If it's a big social event I am good for months!

Do you ever worry that you are becoming too reclusive? If so what signs start coming up?

For me it's the usually something like the realisation that I have forgotten the sound of my own voice or something lol.

Emmalevine · #2 30-08-2016, 12:07 PM

Hi

I'm an introvert and struggle to socialise but I also have a chronic health condition that causes severe fatigue, so this plays a part in my difficulties with social interaction.

As a general rule, though, my need to socialise probably amounts to the same as yours in about once a week or fortnight. I'm perfectly happy living alone and being by myself most of the time as long as I see my friends that often. If I haven't seen anyone for longer than a fortnight I start to feel very lonely.

It also depends on the kind of interaction. Small talk I can't do - it is draining and boring. i love meeting up with a couple of friends who I connect with on a spiritual level although I wish we could be emotionally closer in some respects. I would never go to a party but by the same token I crave a group setting or some sort of community gathering where I fit in/belong. So it's a complex picture.

I realise I'm becoming reclusive when the loneliness hits. Most of the time I like being alone and even talking on the phone is a struggle. But once I feel lonely and alone, I know its time to connect with someone.

taurmel · #3 31-08-2016, 12:38 AM

Introvert here as well, started typing a big ol' post then deleted because it started to ramble about how introversion has affected my relationships lol...didn't value the post like I don't truly value myself, I guess...I also have a couple conditions and a chronic illness that makes me feel unworthy of having friends at all!

No worries, I get my socialization from people at checkout, it's so much easier talking to strangers when I know they won't expect more from me!

Clover · #4 31-08-2016, 01:26 AM

I am naturally more on the reserved side.. I will say, I am old enough not to care about meeting people's families anymore. Latinos have huge families and family gatherings that were always suffocating and draining to me ( lots of kisses, hugs and handshakes.. blah help me!) I don't do those anymore, I don't care how much blood we share I don't want to extend my thoughts or life details with you..

So I am a bit family outcasted by choice, and I am more than fine with that. Just reticently, I parted ways/divorced so I just cut off more family reunions and 'family' related socializing

Other than that, I am forced to go out and socialize because I am a parent. I am put in awkward and uncomfortable situations, especially when I have to deal with other crazy messed up adults, but hey, tis' life.. You learn it's not always about 'you'.

RedEmbers · #5 31-08-2016, 06:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emmalevine

Hi

I'm an introvert and struggle to socialise but I also have a chronic health condition that causes severe fatigue, so this plays a part in my difficulties with social interaction.

As a general rule, though, my need to socialise probably amounts to the same as yours in about once a week or fortnight. I'm perfectly happy living alone and being by myself most of the time as long as I see my friends that often. If I haven't seen anyone for longer than a fortnight I start to feel very lonely.

It also depends on the kind of interaction. Small talk I can't do - it is draining and boring. i love meeting up with a couple of friends who I connect with on a spiritual level although I wish we could be emotionally closer in some respects. I would never go to a party but by the same token I crave a group setting or some sort of community gathering where I fit in/belong. So it's a complex picture.

I realise I'm becoming reclusive when the loneliness hits. Most of the time I like being alone and even talking on the phone is a struggle. But once I feel lonely and alone, I know its time to connect with someone.

I'm pretty terrible at small talk! Sometimes I would rather not speak at all then try to make smalltalk

I am comfortable being quiet around others who are comfortable with quiet times in company. With some extroverts though I sometimes feel that I have to force myself to make conversation... I do so wish that society was less uncomfortable with silence.

I am curious about lonliness because it's something I feel less and less now days. I do work a few days a week though so I am socially connected thorough that.

When I was a stay at home mum I felt very lonely. Even when connected to other parents through parent groups I felt lonely. Parenting raises other intersting challanges for introverts I think.

Perhaps I have detached quite a lot as well... honestly I do wonder if a lack of lonliness is a defense mechanism.

RedEmbers · #6 31-08-2016, 06:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolfgaze

I'm introverted but function well in social settings : D

I have to ask (without googling), but what's a fortnight? That's a new term for me and I've never heard anyone use it in my country...

Ohhh... I am a little envious of your social functioning abilities haha... I get weird in social settings... others might be kind enough to say I am "quirky".

I have never really thought about the term "fortnight" as being a British thing... I had never actually thought about the word at all before now

RedEmbers · #7 31-08-2016, 06:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Somnia

I consider myself an Ambivert...I feel as if I'm somewhere in the middle as I experience both introverted and extroverted qualities...
I have never heard that term before, I shall have to look it up
Not counting spending time with the mate (whom I see daily) or work related social situations...On average I feel the need to socialize with others in person about once or twice a week but I'm very flexible...I don't mind spontaneous meet ups with friends as long as I don't already have something planned I'm committed to...
I feel quite similar to you about spontaneity usually when I am really far into not in my self reflective zone though. I think that I usually need 1-2 days a week of quiet time to think, anything else is usually a bonus but not required... so spontaneity definitely fits into that... as planned as all that sounds LOL

I'm also content not socializing with people (other than the mate) for up to 2 weeks at a time but I think that's my limit before I start feeling the need to socialize with friends/family in person...

I like to visit with my parents at least once sometimes twice a month...

When I'm at a large social gathering I'm able to socialize well, but I can also be a wallflower and feel content by myself or around people I know well, or I might feel overwhelmed and need to get away from a large crowd for a while to breath...So it really depends on what the situation is, what kind of mood I'm in, and what kind of energies/vibes I'm feeling when I'm around a lot of people...

I was thinking about introversion today and what it must be like to be a partner of one haha. I almost started to feel a little bit sorry for my partner as I require so much time alone and am not often up for weekend socializing... I am lucky in a sense because my partner seems to really get that aspect of me... and every now and then he reminds me that I actually need to socialize and gives me a little nudge to do so.

I don't think I would cope very well with someone who didn't understand my need for isolation.

RedEmbers · #8 31-08-2016, 06:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clover

I am naturally more on the reserved side.. I will say, I am old enough not to care about meeting people's families anymore. Latinos have huge families and family gatherings that were always suffocating and draining to me ( lots of kisses, hugs and handshakes.. blah help me!) I don't do those anymore, I don't care how much blood we share I don't want to extend my thoughts or life details with you..

So I am a bit family outcasted by choice, and I am more than fine with that. Just reticently, I parted ways/divorced so I just cut off more family reunions and 'family' related socializing

That is an interesting background. I wonder every now and then if I would be different had I grown up in a different family environment. My parents for the most part were deep thinking introverts- we also
rarely had visitors. My partners family are quite the opposite though, very chatty, love a good party and very affectionate...
Other than that, I am forced to go out and socialize because I am a parent. I am put in awkward and uncomfortable situations, especially when I have to deal with other crazy messed up adults, but hey, tis' life.. You learn it's not always about 'you'.

I am not sure that I will ever really get used to many of the dynamics of parent communities... I even find the school pick up challenging especially when I have had a day of introspection and have barely spoken a word to anyone all day. I have started seeing other parents hang back out of site for the school pick up and have started to join their silent crowd, it's such a relief at times!

shoni7510 · #9 31-08-2016, 02:29 PM

I am half introvert half extrovert. I function very well in crowds and gatherings but I crave for me-time badly when those functions are over. I also enjoy my company very much but I don't mind mingling with others for a short period like 2-4 hours once in a while. When I start missing people then I know it is time to socialize. But lately I have been more introverted than I was before.

Elisa · #10 31-08-2016, 02:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shoni7510

I am half introvert half extrovert. I function very well in crowds and gatherings but I crave for me-time badly when those functions are over. I also enjoy my company very much but I don't mind mingling with others for a short period like 2-4 hours once in a while. When I start missing people then I know it is time to socialize. But lately I have been more introverted than I was before.

I identify with this a lot. And it's so hard to be held back in social realtions when you want to be by yourself... Huge struggle for me