Ever since I was 9 years old, I've realized this strange phenomenon in which every time I picture something so clearly, the complete opposite happens- good or bad. Back then I had no idea about manifestation; I've only discovered manifestation about 2 years ago. But, I would say that I was "manifesting" correctly, to my understanding. I envisioned everything 1st person using my 5 senses, had high vibrations, not much of a doubt at all. However, every time I did that, the opposite of what I wanted would occur, like I said before.
Because of those experiences, I started to doubt myself more, and more. I would have high anxiety or fear about something happening or not happening, but then it's never as bad as I thought it would be...which is very much a good thing in my mind! Short term that is.
I have grown accustomed to something I call "reverse manifestation" (no idea if theres a technical term for that) because I find that when I do that, things usually work out ok for me in a way? I know that sounds strange... but I think that this is definitely doing more harm than good because from my understanding, putting myself in fear, doubt, and anxiety etc. lowers my energy and we all know that can't be a good thing.
Some background info: I have always been very spiritual, because my mom was always very big on crystals, astrology, zodiacs, superstitions, etc. I was raised in a buddhist household, but not too strict on religion or anything. I have always believed in a higher being.
After discovering, and researching manifestation, I definitely have improved my mindset, and my spirituality. Obviously, with years of wiring my mind one way, it can be difficult to change but not impossible. I would just like to know if anyone has any thoughts on any of this or if there is any advice I can take! I'm always thinking about this from time to time, and I would really appreciate some help.
Thanks guys!