Felt compelled to share an update - everything has changed

[dragoneyes]

Hey everyone. I haven't posted on here about my TF in quite a long time, and frankly, the posts that I used to write were coming from a very different place than I am at now.

That's why I feel compelled to write a new perspective and a new update for those who are maybe new to the journey with a TF/SC.

For a quick re-cap for those who don't remember me, I met my TF when I was 14, we started "dating", our journey when I was 19 - we are now 28 and 29.
The last 10 years have been a rollercoaster to say the least - too much to share here as I'd be capable of filling up pages and pages of stories.

I just saw my twin a few weeks ago after 2 years of separation. During those 2 years and a year or so before that, I went through a huge transition, a huge change in character. It isn't until now that I feel I am almost 100% healed. I went from being a selfish, ego-based, desperate, co-dependent, negative person to now, where I operate mainly from a place of love and acceptance, confidence, I know who I am, love who I am and won't take any less than I deserve. I owe this partially to the simple act of maturing, but also to my TF. This journey is amazing - for those who are stuck right now in the negativity, the pain, the hurt, stick in there! You will thank this connection, you will grow exponentially and it WILL be beautiful.

Anyway, upon meeting my TF the other week, I could feel everything was different. The longing, the desperation, the "i want you right now and that's it" feeling, the game, the seduction, etc., has greatly subsided. We connected on a level that was completely foreign to us prior. We communicated openly and freely. We discussed our fears, our problems, our growth, our feelings. No longer did we have this wall between us blinded by our undying attraction towards one another. Yes, we are still very attracted to each other but it has shifted into a soul-level attraction. A spiritual based attraction. I talked to him as if I was talking to myself, as If I was talking to a best-friend. I couldn't even believe some things I was saying - I was diving into childhood trauma and dark times, private things. He the same. He expressed his love for me and that he has been working hard to make things work for us but he has many, many unresolved issues. He has many obligations he must fulfill and is not ready.
We met again. Then he ran. I could feel the negativity, the ego, the baggage oozing off of him as I have become much more receptive and intuitive. I can feel his pain. He is still struggling. He is very closed minded and not willing to let in new ideas, but he is trying.

I remember after we met I felt like.. "I don't feel attracted to him as much anymore".. or "This relationship isn't the same, as exciting".. "is this really what I want?" and I definitely questioned if he was really my twin flame and I am still faced with those questions but I had an epiphany before I wrote this - this is what It is supposed to be like. It's not supposed to be those butterflies that make you swoon and feel like ripping off his clothes forever. The fights to make it exciting and the toxic patterns that keep you coming back. After I had those thoughts and those feelings, I started having extremely vivid dreams about him - still am after a few weeks almost every night. I woke up several nights and it was 2:22. I have been seeing 11:11 every day. I think I was reminded that this is us being closer to reunion. This is our relationship becoming more pure and not based on superficiality or pure attraction. I had mistaken the toxic attraction we used to have for love - but this is actually love, this opening up and seeing our real selves, the open communication- this is it.

I strongly felt him after these few days and I felt his confusion as well. I felt that he shared my thoughts on the union and we haven't spoken much since. But i'm OK with it. I have my moments - i'm still human, I felt a little hurt and still do, but i'm reminding myself to come from a place of love. He told me his fears - I must respect that. If he is not ready, and I am not either, I let it go again and accept it. It's weird though, to have a shift so greatly in a relationship - I believe can only be shared with a SC. I feel like I met a new person - our old ways have shed and we are left with a clean, new slate. If we decide to build upon it or let it go, i'm OK either way. My instincts are telling me he might have received his closure and wants to let it go now and say goodbye. It remains to be seen. I respect myself now - If he is not ready, he needs to let me go. No more chasing, no more begging. I deserve true love and someone who can give themselves 100% to me.

Just wanted to share and to remind that this is really about you. One day you will reap the benefits and the pain you felt in the past will be shed, it will be no more. I am astonished every day at how I handle things as opposed to a few years ago. Let it hurt, let yourself see your twin even when friends and family oppose to it, follow your heart and let them unfold who you really are. Let them in and let them tear you down - you will grow beautifully!

[ByChance]

I can relate completely. For me have been 13 years. This July my awakening started or maybe it is just I am more aware of it now than before. I am more grounded, more in peace and as I shared in other post, I am more atune with him, feeling his energy, his emotions, his fears. I feel the telepathy is getting stronger. And the conection, too. There is most honesty, less drama. In my case the pull is overhelming and I can feel the magnetic pull in my heart crakra, root, sacral and plexus. We are more madure now. He is more centered, but the more I get grounded, the more he grows. We are far from being our true selves and reunite, I even don't know if it will happen or not, but this is other level, like other step. We needed 9 years of seperation for it. I do feel the huge sexual attraction, I do not know if it is because we are far away from each other and it serves us as a powerful reason for meeting. I shared a very honest and large message with him and he replied with honesty, too, but I felt the fear in him to mess up the things with me. I feel as if I know him better now. I sense now how sensible he is.
I am handeling everything carefully and I do feel everything is on an energetic level. I do cry a lot b/c we are separated, but I grow and get stronger after that. For the first time he wrote me and I don't feel the need to answer him. Curiously, today I started to see more double numbers, though I don't rely in them. And the love is getting more profound.
TF or not TF? I only use the term as a guide, not as the ultimate truth, since for me this strange forces and SC are difficult to put into words. Let see what happens. Everything is in the hands of the universe.
I do feel that the more the Divine Femenine heals, the more the Divine Masculine heals.
Namasté.

[Clover]

Originally Posted by DragonEyes

I went through a huge transition, a huge change in character. It isn't until now that I feel I am almost 100% healed. I went from being a selfish, ego-based, desperate, co-dependent, negative person to now, where I operate mainly from a place of love and acceptance, confidence, I know who I am, love who I am and won't take any less than I deserve. I owe this partially to the simple act of maturing, but also to my TF. This journey is amazing - for those who are stuck right now in the negativity, the pain, the hurt, stick in there! You will thank this connection, you will grow exponentially and it WILL be beautiful.

Thanks for updating, Dragoneyes. I am happy to read about your growth and self development.

Its all soul growth! Best wishes and don't be a stranger in the tarot section.


Cloves