The call of gods continues?

[firebolt]

I posted here awhile back (2 years ago already!) about feeling a "call" from a god. As a disclaimer, I'm pretty ignorant to paganism in general, and their respective god/desses. I'm also not sure if I even believe in gods in this way.

Anyway, since then I've been mentally batting away the apparent "calls" when they come up, and then it's gone for awhile, but if I let myself think of it at all, there's the "persistence" all over again. However, there now appears to be another one 'involved' and I'm getting pretty frustrated at my lack of knowledge about this all. The first would be Thor, and the newer one would be Odin.

I have many questions that I don't have any answers to... Mainly being- What is the purpose? What are the consequences of getting 'involved' with them? Considering the fact that if they do exist, from an intelligence standpoint, it's probably akin to the difference between a dog and a human, I'm extremely wary.

It's for those reasons I'm too nervous to attempt to meditate on these gods and see what happens. I've tried many times and backed out because I'm somewhat afraid that I WILL hear something outside myself. This doesn't bother me at all when it's just human or something equal to it, but the thought of something that could exist with the power to strike me down like Old Testament freaks me out.

Yesterday I let myself think too long on Odin, I started to sense a dark, shadowed figure in the "side" of my mind (if that makes sense) just...there. Almost waiting and watching. Freaked me out. For Thor, when I've thought too long, I've almost tangibly felt an intimidating figure behind me, towering over me in height.

I actually don't like to say, think, or even type the their names, because the more I think them, the more I start to sense and feel things. I'll be honest- I know the basic things about Odin and I'm not trying to mess with that guy. I've conveyed as much to 'them', yet the things are still going on. I'm less afraid of the thought of Thor, and there was one time I felt brazen enough to meditate for some answers. When I felt there may have been something there I asked whom I was speaking to, and heard "I am Aesir". At that point I backed out because that sounded like a legit word I had heard somewhere but didn't know the meaning of, and it freaked me out. I looked it up afterward and it was indeed a legit word but I'm not sure what that would mean in this context.

There's been this image of a Mjollnir there floating around in my mind for the past 2-3 years now. Dunno what I'm supposed to do with it. Now along with it I keep seeing runes and start thinking of what kind to get. I don't even want runes. What am I gonna do with those things? Again yesterday, while I was thinking of the newer happenings (Odin), I was browsing a board for a video game, and when I clicked to go to the next page of posts, it instead loaded a topic titled "Is Odin calling to me?" (There's a character named Odin in the game, but this question makes no sense in context of the game and was pretty bizarre).

Over the summer I had been collecting feathers during walks because it gave me something to do, earlier in the day I was listening to some pagan metal band I had just found, particularly a song about Odin and his birds. At some point during the walk, I saw two crows in the sky, heard "Follow them". Figured why not, so I went in that general direction. After awhile I found a large shiny black feather on the ground. This was pretty chilling to me because before I left I had sent out that if this is legit, I'll find a black feather, since I hadn't seen one during any of my feather collecting adventures. I kept it of course but I don't look at it often...lol.

This turned into a large stream of consciousness instead of any particular question, sorry! Hopefully it is at least coherent. I feel a bit better getting all of that off my chest at least. Any advice, insight, comment is appreciated.

[Jenny Crow]

Hello Firebolt,

There are many people who would just love to be in your position of having a deity "call" to them. Most people are honoured.

I keep seeing the words - afraid, too nervous, chilling. And you said "batting away the apparent calls" but you were "brazen enough" etc.

I feel your fear and lack of knowledge is holding you back. If you're not interested in paganism and too afraid of it then perhaps you should just put those "calls" out of your mind - eventually they will subside because no deity is going to 'beg' you to join them.

On the other hand why don't you read and research all you can concerning the Norse pantheon, the Asatru tradition and then you'll find out for yourself what paganism is all about. There are many books you can find.

I think you should also ask yourself WHY you're too nervous to even meditate on these two deities. They are both strong, powerful deities to be associated with. Aesir refers to a clan of gods - Vanir is another clan.

I dunno, perhaps there's a strong Christian influence that is causing all of your fear but I think you need to face this issue and go one way or another.

You asked "What is the purpose" and "what are the consequences of being involved with them?". The purpose is that, as in any tradition/religion there is usually a deity - in this case you have Odin and Thor. Like any god they will help, support, protect and in some ways change your life for the better. As for "consequences" they are usually only good ones. However, they, and all deities, require you to be respectful when referring to them, they like offerings (such as incense, certain food offerings etc) and comparing them to being something akin to a dog is certainly not respectful (in my opinion, anyway).

They are not just something with the power to strike you down like the old testament - that's just your left over Christian fear-mongering coming through. The gods are real, some even have a sense of humour, they do not just come at your beck and call but when communicated with in an intelligent, honest way are wonderful beings to have in your life.

Jenny Crow

[DavidMcCann]

If the gods are calling you, it's because they think you need to be called. It's very generous, as they aren't like the Abrahamic Yahweh, liable to have a hissy fit if ignored! If you want to turn your back on them it can be done, but why do it?

I was recently reading a wonderful book of interviews with pagans: Walking with the Gods by W. D. Wilkerson. Dr Wilkerson, the author, used to have a Jungian view of the gods as archetypes and meditate on them, Then

I was having a nice, normal, dream conversation with my archetypal Loki... All or a sudden, a very hot, very strong hand clamped on my left shoulder ... "That's a lovely paper doll you've got there. Where's ya get it?" ... "I'm working with my archetypal trickster, Loki." ... "You wanna talk, then face me. Let's chat."

And that's when she discovered that the gods are not just archetypes!

[Jenny Crow]

Originally Posted by DavidMcCann

If the gods are calling you, it's because they think you need to be called. It's very generous, as they aren't like the Abrahamic Yahweh, liable to have a hissy fit if ignored! If you want to turn your back on them it can be done, but why do it?
And that's when she discovered that the gods are not just archetypes!

Love this!

[firebolt]

Originally Posted by Jenny Crow

and comparing them to being something akin to a dog is certainly not respectful

Hi Jenny, I'm a bit confused by your post because it wasn't my intention to offend anyone. Regarding the "dogs to humans" comment- I meant myself as the dog in that comparison- not being able to fully comprehend the intentions or motives of whom I may be communicating with.

[Jenny Crow]

Oh, I see - must have read it wrong, lol, sorry!

I think for you to make a reasonable decision about what you wish to do and how to handle the situation I believe you need more knowledge and understanding of what's going on; and the only way to have that happen is to research and read, read, read about the Norse tradition (I know, I'm repeating myself, forgive me). I say the Norse trad because, of course, Odin and Thor are from that tradition.

You can take suggestions from others but if you, yourself, learn and understand about paganism and the gods you can then make an educated decision. I know it's a lot of work but you may find it exciting and begin to feel drawn to it as I feel that this is important to your life.

[firebolt]

Originally Posted by DavidMcCann

If the gods are calling you, it's because they think you need to be called. It's very generous, as they aren't like the Abrahamic Yahweh, liable to have a hissy fit if ignored! If you want to turn your back on them it can be done, but why do it?

I'm quite afraid of that image of a god, yeah. I was raised Christian, but it never clicked with me and I was a "why?" child from the start... But I guess the fears of smiting and damnation have stuck with me. Somewhat related, I was also raised to expect the most dire consequences from even normal stuff, (taking a walk outside might result in death, ect) and though the previously Christian parent is now more spirituality oriented, trying to talk about any of these things is usually a mistake, (warning of evils and possession and ect) though it's the only person I have to do so. I usually just regret it because I come out more afraid and anxious than I was to begin with.

Originally Posted by Jenny Crow

Oh, I see - must have read it wrong, lol, sorry!

It's all good, glad to have that cleared up haha. I definitely don't think I'm above a god- quite the opposite, which is why I'm anxious. I would really like to become more familiar with it, and have read some basic stuff here and there, but don't really have any idea of where to begin for real. I searched the bookstore during my last visit and there were unfortunately no books on the topic at all.

[DavidMcCann]

Originally Posted by firebolt

I would really like to become more familiar with it, and have read some basic stuff here and there, but don't really have any idea of where to begin for real. I searched the bookstore during my last visit and there were unfortunately no books on the topic at all.

Well, we can sort that one out for you! You can start here for Heathen gods like Odin and Thor:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heathe...gious_movement)
http://www.heathengods.com/

The best book I know is
http://www.amazon.com/A-Practical-He.../dp/0738733873
Badger your local library to borrow a copy.

[firebolt]

Originally Posted by DavidMcCann

The best book I know is
http://www.amazon.com/A-Practical-He.../dp/0738733873
Badger your local library to borrow a copy.

Thanks so much ! This is the kind of book I was on the lookout for

[Jenny Crow]

Good luck with your reading, Firebolt