i just don't get it

BringMeTheHorizon · #1 12-10-2014, 06:07 PM

Why am I even here? I just wanna go to sleep and never wake up. You're born, you go to school, then you go to college or uni and then you have to work until you die? It doesn't make any sense to me. I just want to go back to the afterlife.

For the past 5 years i've been really struggling with depression and I've always kept it to myself. But last week, I finally told my school counselor and my personal doctor about it. And tomorrow I have my first appointment with a psychologist and i'm also being put on antidepressants and meds for anxiety. I doubt it'll help though, because all I can think of is dying. I'm just so tired and bored of always having to wake up early, go to school, do homework and then go to sleep. It's the same thing every day. When I was 15 I had a heart disease, which could've easily killed me if the doctors hadn't found out about it, but yet i'm still here. And I often wonder why it didn't kill me?

I've read somewhere that in the afterlife, you get to choose wether you want to stay over there or be born again on earth. Is that even true? Because I honestly didn't want to get born here. Unless someone actually forced me to.

Even though I don't like being here, I'm so scared of the afterlife. I'm afraid that i'll go to the lower planes or even hell because I'm always so negative. But I just can't help it, i really am trying. I don't think i'm a bad person but i'm just nothing special, so i'm probably not good enough to go to 'heaven'. How do I make sure that I'm allowed to go to the higher planes when I die?

I'm also very scared of dying. Some people go through so much pain when they die and I honestly don't want that to happen to me. Isn't it possible for the soul to leave the body right before death? Like for example if you're about to die in a car crash, can't your soul leave the body just a few seconds before it actually happens? I've been wondering this for a while now.

And I have one more last question, who 'controls' the afterlife? Like who gets to decide which souls have a great life and which souls have a terrible life? I know that everyone struggles with things but some people are actually happy with their lives when some or not. Like nobody deserves to get raped, or get murdered or experience something very traumatic? And i think it's just not fair. If there really is a god why would he let such bad things happen to people?

I'm sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes, it's because English isn't my first language. :)

LadyMay · #2 12-10-2014, 06:41 PM

You're the only one who controls where you go in the afterlife.. and the great thing is you don't have to wait until you die to go to the higher planes. They're right here right now and you can tune into them with a bit of meditation.

It sounds like you're really depressed which is somewhere I've been before. You're not a bad person, but perhaps no one ever showed love to you? I think the most common problem on earth is that people don't know how to love themselves, and it's a problem I had myself once. I would suggest to start with that, here's a reccent thread that might help: http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/sh...ad.php?t=75877

Your heart disease you had might be a manifestation of this. I think your symptoms might improve if you meditate on your heart chakra, and maybe your lower chakras too. I also suggest something like yoga which will help energy circulate your system better and break up the negative thoughtforms that you're carrying around. A thing to remember is that a lot of these negative thoughts you have aren't really yours. They're things that have attached to you over time from over people's negative behaviour towards you. So if you can realise that first and realise they are outside yourself then you might beon your way to finding some mental and emotional release

CrystalSong · #3 12-10-2014, 08:57 PM

Yep, based on personal first hand experience I agree with the poster above.
Heaven and hell are both here right now, you're experiencing one of the lower levels of hell via hopelessness and depression.

You control what happens on the other side, you judge what you learned while in the earth classroom, what you experienced and still want to experience and when you're ready to go back.
You can actually access a lot of information from 'the other side' while still here in physicality on Earth.

In fact you have multiple bodies and all except the physical body can travel into other planes even while the physical body is here in this dimension. So no need to wait till you're dead to go to the other side. However you have a contract, (you wrote it) to be here on Earth for a certain period of time, so no matter how far you explore in the multi-verse you will always return to your body. In fact there's a golden energy thread which keeps you feathered to it according to multiple accounts of astral travelers. I've not seen it as I travel via mental projection and Etheric projection primarily and am more concerned about not returning to the body too soon! LOL

Of course all this is Extremely hard to accomplish if your on meds and so bored and disappointed with your experience on earth that you can't stand it here anymore.

Work on finding exciting interesting things to do or people to hang with and get charged up about being here again. You used to be not so long ago, find things to be excited about and stay off electronic devices, they can rob us of certain frequency's of energy and deplete our energy reserves. Meditate to find peace and eventually the keys to the multi-verse. You'll be glad you did!

LadyMay · #4 12-10-2014, 09:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CrystalSong

I travel via mental projection

Mental projection?

love9 · #5 12-10-2014, 10:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BringMeTheHorizon

Why am I even here? I just wanna go to sleep and never wake up. You're born, you go to school, then you go to college or uni and then you have to work until you die? It doesn't make any sense to me. I just want to go back to the afterlife.

For the past 5 years i've been really struggling with depression and I've always kept it to myself. But last week, I finally told my school counselor and my personal doctor about it. And tomorrow I have my first appointment with a psychologist and i'm also being put on antidepressants and meds for anxiety. I doubt it'll help though, because all I can think of is dying. I'm just so tired and bored of always having to wake up early, go to school, do homework and then go to sleep. It's the same thing every day. When I was 15 I had a heart disease, which could've easily killed me if the doctors hadn't found out about it, but yet i'm still here. And I often wonder why it didn't kill me?

I've read somewhere that in the afterlife, you get to choose wether you want to stay over there or be born again on earth. Is that even true? Because I honestly didn't want to get born here. Unless someone actually forced me to.

Even though I don't like being here, I'm so scared of the afterlife. I'm afraid that i'll go to the lower planes or even hell because I'm always so negative. But I just can't help it, i really am trying. I don't think i'm a bad person but i'm just nothing special, so i'm probably not good enough to go to 'heaven'. How do I make sure that I'm allowed to go to the higher planes when I die?

I'm also very scared of dying. Some people go through so much pain when they die and I honestly don't want that to happen to me. Isn't it possible for the soul to leave the body right before death? Like for example if you're about to die in a car crash, can't your soul leave the body just a few seconds before it actually happens? I've been wondering this for a while now.

And I have one more last question, who 'controls' the afterlife? Like who gets to decide which souls have a great life and which souls have a terrible life? I know that everyone struggles with things but some people are actually happy with their lives when some or not. Like nobody deserves to get raped, or get murdered or experience something very traumatic? And i think it's just not fair. If there really is a god why would he let such bad things happen to people?

I'm sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes, it's because English isn't my first language. :)

Thanks BringMeTheHorizon, you're going through difficult times, but you should know that you are a child of the Universe! It ain't a small thing, you are part of the MIRACLE of living!

Were you raised in a loving environment?, if not, initiate a process to learn, feel that you are "love", that you are more than you think!, that "heaven and hell" is a mental process, not necessarily an emotional one!

Turn yourself toward what sustain life, the different energies that hold us up together, and begain a mental, emotion process to reach a mindset that you are part of these energies, and they will be within your reach to go through difficult times!

If you want more information on the "AfterLife", here is a web link of Dr. Michael Newton, he spent most of his professional life helping his clients going through "past life experience".

http://newtoninstitute.org/

Google Michael Newton, it will bring up a 5 episodes document on his experience.

Don't forget, you are more than you may think, the best to you is on your way!

Native spirit · #6 12-10-2014, 10:34 PM

IT is said that we choose too reincarnate but it doesn't sit with me, because I didn't want to be born,it is also said we choose our parents that doesn't sit with me either,so you are not alone.you have done the first step and that is to seek help. antideppresents and counselling work very well together.everything looks dark when you are depressed but it does clear,
you would not go into the lower levels of the spirit world because of how you feel you would go into healing.
I have come close to passing over a few times but am still here , my husband loved life he embrassed it, yet he passed with cancer I would have changed places with him anytime because I don't fear death,as a medium I give validation to others from loved ones to know there is nothing to fear.i know how you are feeling right now as I am also a counsellor,and I know that the way you are feeling does lift,

you can and will be happy with your life but just take the advice given to you by the doctors,and don't be so hard on yourself, take one day at a time you will get through this.

Namaste

CrystalSong · #7 12-10-2014, 10:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScarlettHayden

Mental projection?

It's an advanced form of Remote Viewing, or perhaps, a better way to say it is the natural evolution of much practice in Remote Viewing.

#8 14-10-2014, 05:21 PM

The greatest rejection is of self. If you are not happy with being separate from God nothing is going to work for you.
The answer is understanding. You are in fact flooded with God's attention every moment. That is about the only thing that makes being in this universe worth it IMO. With the ability, which is really just willingness, to contact God when you wish nothing gets too serious. My experience.
How you do it is up to you. Body issues can play a part in making it difficult but also are the most direct route to solution, since you know about them already.
Close your eyes and look at your heart. Do this long enough and you will understand what was and is going on with it.(This is an example, not something I advise you to do.)
Everything here yields to your willingness. There is a probably a much better life available that you are now experiencing. There will always be things to figure out. Perhaps you have already begun!

bangwhosnext · #9 15-10-2014, 12:10 AM

Horizon, as a fellow sufferer of anxiety and depression, I have a little advice.

Medication has cured me of my depression, but it was not instant. There are two things you need to know about anxiety and depression meds.

1. You need to find the right one. Some will do nothing for you and others may make your condition worse. Cipramil was the one that worked for me.

2. You need to give the medication time to work. For the first 4 weeks or so on depression meds you will probably feel the medication is making you feel really bad, but this wears off after said period and you will start to feel the real effects of the meds. Only after a few months on the medication will you know if it is working for you or not.

Hope this helps, and if you have any more questions don't hesitate to ask.

Hang in there buddy, things will get better. I'm rooting for you!