Spiritual high then a terrible low

Natasha · #1 02-05-2011, 09:53 AM

This time last year, I woke up so to speak. I have always been quite aware but it was only then when I became incredibly conscious. I spent a week in a tearful transition (not sad tears more an intense relief) at this realisation and then I spent months and months so happy. Things fell into place for me, I started seeing things differently. Things came my way without trying. I was riding along the wave and enjoying life and then suddenly in the last month things have changed. Its almost as if Ive totally fallen off that wave and I'm now in the dark. I feel blue, I'm having crying episodes and my previous ego driven problems seem to be fighting their way back into my head. It comes and goes and I'm trying to get my control back, but I have no idea whats happened. Its like a real down time. I dont think it will last long or forever but it feels transitional. Its almost as if the old me is fighting against the new me. Its a very confusing time...

I'd be grateful for some words or advice, or maybe to hear from people that have experienced a low after a high like this. I'm determined to get back to my high!

xx Nat

Baile · #2 02-05-2011, 10:10 AM

Hi Natasha. I would say to keep in mind that every awakening is the beginning of a new cycle of self-understanding. And, yes, the beginning of new inner challenges as we awaken to those understandings. Self-realization is an ongoing, lifelong process.

#3 02-05-2011, 03:28 PM

Hi, I think these are the key words in your post: I dont think it will last long or forever but it feels transitional.

Lows after highs are part of the package, as we return from 'up there' to 'plain folks'... You're in a good position - you know it's transitory, you know there is something better and you know the 'old' you is resisting the change. Great place to be, because you have a choice of awareness!

Try this - think of a door. Beyond the door is your 'new' you, the world of possibilites and hope you woke to last year. At the moment, you stand on the threshold, feet caught in the 'old'. Make a choice to step forward and close the door behind you. Face into the future.

Think about this concept... feel if it fits you. If it does, do this as a visualisation or meditation when it feels right to do so. You'll know when. Alos, be compassionate and gentle with your old self, thanking it for the lessons given but being clear in your heart that it is now time to move on into the new.

Spiritlite · #4 02-05-2011, 04:30 PM

Oh I remember those highs and they still come but less frequently and I just shrug my shoulders and accept it, I'm one to leave it in the laps of the gods. However, compared to when I would get those extreme highs I am much more spiritual so me being more spiritual and the highs I get now probably offset me feeling really high. I say leave it in gods lap or whomever you believe in, don't force it either forcing it means you're manifesting you can't do it hence you won't.
Spiritlite.

in progress · #5 02-05-2011, 04:46 PM

Hang in there Natasha. I had my awakening three years ago. I've been there.. again and again. It's part of the process. It's cyclic but instead of seeing it as a circle, see it as a spiral upwards. Each time you come back to that place of disconnection you aren't in the same space you were last time. You're higher on the spiral, closer to where you're heading. I heard recently if we did it all at once, peeled all the layers away at once, we'd be overwhelmed. So we do it bit by bit.

seeker2011 · #6 02-05-2011, 04:56 PM

Natasha,
You describe my exact experience. I think of it this way: The old me is quite literally fighting the new me. Ego found out he wasn't the most important thing in existance anymore, so he threw a fit. The thing is, I tried to fight back, which was a mistake. My efforts now are to think of a cooperation between parts, each to their own world, but working together.

Natasha · #7 02-05-2011, 06:01 PM

Thank you all. Really appreciate all the comments. I think the problem here is that I've felt the "high" changing over the last few months and instead of going with it, I've fought it and covered it up and as a result I now have an extreme low, but still with an awareness which is good but a strange new experience. I think cooperation is the only way forward like seeker said. Its like I'm sitting back and watching all my ego patterns say "HEY! WE ARE STILL HERE" with a nice big slap in the face and a waggle of the finger, so suprised they were in hiding for so long. So they are still lurking but like you said Enya, the door is there and I will try and visualise walking through it, meditate and try and be as conscious as possible. It just feels so uncomfortable and disappointing, but I'll try and remember its a cycle and everything can't always be up up up. Im really glad I discussed this here today, its not as if I can sit down and discuss this how I honestly see it with friends (I dont feel I can as yet or feel I want to yet as they have no idea of my spirituality and I dont think they would understand it), so I've been feeling extremely isolated with it during this period.

#8 02-05-2011, 10:43 PM

It happens to most people I think Nat....I've spend the last 7 years or so like that except I have cycles of it every 2 weeks. The ups and the downs can be exhausting but I think the biggest thing I've learnt about it is the need for detachment. When your feeling particularly blue its usually because your old self is being released (this bring up your ego, dysfunctional aspects of yourself, old patterns etc) This generally happens when your going through a vibrational shift. If you watch the patterns in yourself you'll probably find that immediately after the shift you begin to see the world in a different way and may have new gifts as well.

#9 02-05-2011, 10:59 PM

This happens to me Natasha. I've learned to ride the waves by remembering that every time something new and wonderful comes into our lives, something old that is no longer useful to us must go (i.e. die), so there can be a grieving period, which is completely normal :)

Angie

#10 02-05-2011, 11:06 PM

Highs and lows are examples of duality. We seem to relive these highs and lows over and over hoping that the highs will become more meaningful or last longer.

They seem to be micro reminders of what we are perceiving that we are giving up when we go from having complete inner peace to little inner peace. All in all, it is all in your head and there can not be life in this universe without highs and lows ^__^

lots of love, and good luck making more highs than lows