Daily Work Dread

#1 02-05-2011, 01:06 AM

Hi Everyone,

After many years on my spiritual journey, who I am internally is beginning to align with my external world. I can no longer tolerate people who lie and think they can manipulate. I have had to make adjustments to relationships and in some cases, end relationships with people. I am content with living my simple truth.
Recently I thought I was be laid off from a job that I do not like. I am there for the paycheck and thought that part of my life would finish naturally. The lay off did not happen and now I've been forced into taking a new position in the name of keeping my department employed. I must admit that this is a difficult adjustment for me and I have been resisting this change. I am actively looking for a job but I can't help thinking being forced to take this position has taken away a piece of my soul. I am saddened that I have to stay at this place another minute.
Close friends have tried to console me with positive affirmations and those 'hang in there' speeches. It's not that I am not appreciative of the soothing words but if it were that simple, I would have consoled myself and moved on.

How do I find a way to continue this job and not feel this daily dread? I feel like a part of me is fractured.

Thanks,
CoffeeGem

blackraven · #2 02-05-2011, 01:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CoffeeGem

Hi Everyone,

After many years on my spiritual journey, who I am internally is beginning to align with my external world. I can no longer tolerate people who lie and think they can manipulate. I have had to make adjustments to relationships and in some cases, end relationships with people. I am content with living my simple truth.
Recently I thought I was be laid off from a job that I do not like. I am there for the paycheck and thought that part of my life would finish naturally. The lay off did not happen and now I've been forced into taking a new position in the name of keeping my department employed. I must admit that this is a difficult adjustment for me and I have been resisting this change. I am actively looking for a job but I can't help thinking being forced to take this position has taken away a piece of my soul. I am saddened that I have to stay at this place another minute.
Close friends have tried to console me with positive affirmations and those 'hang in there' speeches. It's not that I am not appreciative of the soothing words but if it were that simple, I would have consoled myself and moved on.

How do I find a way to continue this job and not feel this daily dread? I feel like a part of me is fractured.

Thanks,
CoffeeGem

CoffeeGem - "Work" is something that is your contribution to our free society. Vacation is what makes you feel relaxed, happy and free from stress. So be careful about thinking you hate your job, because you don't want to hate work itself. Because no matter what job you have it ends up being work itself. I don't mean to take a hard nose stance, but I had a good-paying job that I planned to retire from one day and I had the same mind set, it sounds like. I was on a spiritual quest and felt the job wasn't aligned with my path. I no longer have that job for reasons I would rather not disclose. I would do anything to have that job back. Others on the board will likely say find what you love and do it. I wouldn't argue with them. If you can do it, more power to you by all means. But life outside of work is what's important too. Hobbies can be very fulfilling as well. In today's world it's a good thing if you're employed at all. Just my 2 cents.

Blackraven

Silver · #3 02-05-2011, 02:06 AM

If you can afford to be without a job, I'd say continue on thinking those thoughts to yourself, if not, you can see the need to change your thinking so you can not just survive the job, but turn it around so that you can thrive and your spirit doesn't get mangled.

If you can describe specifics, I mean, the worst parts that you really hate the most, maybe we can work with you to change how you look at those horrid parts...

#4 02-05-2011, 07:04 AM

Hi Coffee

It's no fun being in a Soul-destroying job, I've been in one for the past five years. If there's one thing that keeps me going, it's 'nihil illegitamus carborundum', Latin for don't let the b*****ds grind you down. I believe the Universe puts things our way to show us who and what we are, and this is an opportunity for you. Are you a quitter? Or have you the strength to carry on and keep yourself in one piece? The other thing is that you say you are keeping your department employed, I take it there are others? If so, then perhaps you're being there is keeping them in a job.

Silver · #5 02-05-2011, 02:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Greenslade

Hi Coffee

It's no fun being in a Soul-destroying job, I've been in one for the past five years. If there's one thing that keeps me going, it's 'nihil illegitamus carborundum', Latin for don't let the b*****ds grind you down. I believe the Universe puts things our way to show us who and what we are, and this is an opportunity for you. Are you a quitter? Or have you the strength to carry on and keep yourself in one piece? The other thing is that you say you are keeping your department employed, I take it there are others? If so, then perhaps you're being there is keeping them in a job.

So, if any of you quit, the whole bunch of you would lose your jobs. That should bring more thana little sense of purpose to what you're doing...? How are you doing now? Blessings to you all.

#6 02-05-2011, 03:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CoffeeGem

Close friends have tried to console me with positive affirmations and those 'hang in there' speeches. It's not that I am not appreciative of the soothing words but if it were that simple, I would have consoled myself and moved on.

CG, if your closest friends haven't been able to help you, it's hard to imagine what you're expecting to hear from posters on an internet forum. The comment you made about "keeping my department employed" is where I would start with any discussion. Unless you run your own business or consulting firm and the people in your department are your employees, I don't understand what the difficulty is here. People come and go, and organizations and departments move on and survive without them. Past that, you're not responsible for the employment status of others. And if you think you are, I'd say you're probably using that as an excuse to stay where you are. At the very least, given your obvious loathing for the work you're doing, I'd say that's an extemely unhealthy choice you're making.

Practically, the best advice from the little bit you've shared would be to train a successor and then get out of there as quickly as you can. Because asking others for advice on how to stick with a job you hate is a pointless exercise. And you've already seen that with your friends.

in progress · #7 02-05-2011, 04:38 PM

I've often found myself angry and feeling like a victim at work. Frankly, I probably would not have had my awakening if not for my getting so sick and tired of it.

You are not a victim. You are in the pressure cooker for a reason. What is this showing you? Do you need to address anger issues? Issues w/ trust?? It's not always easy. I've been there and am still there. You peel away a layer and think "Whew! Glad that's done" just to find another to peel away. Sometimes it seems like it never ends but trust you are making progress. We keep coming back to the same wound because we can not bear to rip off the entire bandage all at once. We'd be overwhelmed. We have to pull at it bit by bit until the job is done.

Good luck! You'll do it.

seeker2011 · #8 02-05-2011, 04:50 PM

CoffeeGem, I feel your pain. In my case, I wonder if finding out there is more to existance than the physical world has made me lazy in it. To know there is more is hard to ignore. BUT we are here for a very good reason, through a whole lot of effort and planning, there just has to be something we need to experience. And I have found that the most difficult barriers that face me are entirely composed of something I need to figure out. It appears to me, that the figuring can only happen with expense of time and thought, in the brain mind.
All that being said, I too wish I could do something I enjoy for a living, but that seems reserved for very few people these days.
One piece of advice: Dont let the bosses know how you feel.

#9 02-05-2011, 05:52 PM

How about looking at this as a chance to grow as a person and as potential employee? While you keep that department running (and help others keep their jobs), you are learning new skills and experience which is great on your cv!

You have two choices here - wake up every day and assert that 'today is one day closer to my finding the job I most want' or allow your energy to be drained by focusing on what you don't want. There is something to be learnt in this situation - find it.