Why I run

[Delay_Reaction]

I am the runner in this never ending cycle of (expletive)

Twin sends me a random song.. I listen to it. I ask her about it "why do you send me this stuff and then go silent? you never want to openly talk about "US".. you know, the stuff that I ACTUALLY care about discussing with you?"

I have OPENLY asked her to talk to me, about our relationship, about feelings. Yet she never does... she just keeps sending me songs... pictures... quotes...

So I run from it. I block her from social media. This is coming from an emotional man/runner who is tired from an unresponsive twin who refuses to talk to me about matters I consider to be of the heart/soul.

Maybe some of you can relate.

P.S. Yes, I feel guilty about it all the time, especially when I take more extreme measures of blocking.

I'm safeguarding myself from seeing things I don't want to see, while still trying to move on myself.

[Anne]

Run Forrest, Run!

From what you’ve shared previously this woman likes to socialize and keep men on a string. That is flat out wrong imo. Tantalizing with songs, pictures and quotes is no replacement for authenticity and full disclosure.

I feel bad for you DR...., because in a way I’ve been in the same boat. I can relate to feeling guilty about blocking.. But if she’s at all narcissistic - it’s the only thing you can do to protect yourself, isn’t it?

Block away I say! No getting around the fact it’s heartbreaking..
May you find one who truly loves you <3

Originally Posted by Delay_Reaction

I have OPENLY asked her to talk to me, about our relationship, about feelings. Yet she never does... she just keeps sending me songs... pictures... quotes...

So I run from it. I block her from social media. This is coming from an emotional man/runner who is tired from an unresponsive twin who refuses to talk to me about matters I consider to be of the heart/soul.

Maybe some of you can relate.

Don't blame you. Sounds like she's playing mind games. I hestitate to suggest she knows she had you on a string but if a guy was doing this to me I'd take it at that and likewise block him out.

Don't need a twin experience for that. It happens in any relationship with some degree of intimacy, spiritual or not, where one person manipulates the other knowing they care.

♥

[Zoeila]

when someone runs it's not because of the other person...i'm gonna take a guess that you make her extremely shy and the song lyric's she sends is an attempt to say the things that are hard for her to say herself. judging by my own experience it's even possible you are the DF and she's the DM. she want's you to talk to her even if she doesn't talk back. your words are like music to her ears and give her strength.

[KaH29]

This is so interesting to read because sending songs is the only way I can communicate with her right now. I can't seem to find the words so I use the songs to do it. I dont know much of your backstory. But for me and her songs have been a central component of our connection since day 1.

[Nature Grows]

Originally Posted by Delay_Reaction

I am the runner in this never ending cycle of (expletive)

Twin sends me a random song.. I listen to it. I ask her about it "why do you send me this stuff and then go silent? you never want to openly talk about "US".. you know, the stuff that I ACTUALLY care about discussing with you?"

I have OPENLY asked her to talk to me, about our relationship, about feelings. Yet she never does... she just keeps sending me songs... pictures... quotes...

So I run from it. I block her from social media. This is coming from an emotional man/runner who is tired from an unresponsive twin who refuses to talk to me about matters I consider to be of the heart/soul.

Maybe some of you can relate.

P.S. Yes, I feel guilty about it all the time, especially when I take more extreme measures of blocking.

I'm safeguarding myself from seeing things I don't want to see, while still trying to move on myself.

Sounds like a good idea, you could just ignore her. Sending songs and stuff is nice and all but the refusing to talk to you... is she really, really shy or something? I can imagine it might be frustrating dealing with this, like she wants to say something but is to afraid to even talk to you maybe? she is probably not ready for a relationship in that case anyway.

[ONEsoul]

You are asking the obvious....Why do you run? It is quite obvious.....You have a major fear of rejection.....So you will reject her, FIRST...You have a ton of inner work to do my friend. You still are experiencing this from the outer...Once you do the work, you will understand what I'm saying..There are no shortcuts, and it's painful,,,More than likely she is the catalyst to your work You will be fine, because you have the passion and the desire xoxo

[Unrequited love]

I do not think that she is trying to play mind games...not intentionally anyway. It was this way with me and my TF/SC/whatever-you-want-to-call-it...and I would talk about superficial things just to strike up conversation because I felt too intimidated to talk about things that really mattered. I mean, this connection was so intense, I felt it would DESTROY me if I shared my feelings and he didn’t feel the same, so I would tell him about other guys I would be talking to....hoping to get some sort of reaction. Was it immature? Absolutely...and yet....I did it anyway. If you care for this person, lay it all out there bluntly...leaving no room for misinterpretation. If not, then blocking is probably best. Good luck ��

Originally Posted by ONEsoul

You are asking the obvious....Why do you run? It is quite obvious.....You have a major fear of rejection.....

Are you being serious? That sounds pretty far fetched. It could simply be that he's had enough of the frustration of this fractured communication. He wants to talk. She's playing games. Do you believe that saying no words of her own is the behaviour of a twin, the person who's supposed to help you grow and evolve, not annoy you all the time.

So you will reject her, FIRST...You have a ton of inner work to do my friend.

Honestly, his response sounds sensible and if I may say so, pretty ordinary. This "doing work on yourself" thing? I hear it often on this forum but never fathom what it means. What is one trying to achieve - trying to change oneself in order to comply? Trying to erase one's preferences in relationships? Leaning tolerance toward a recalcitrant "chaser". What exactly? How does one commence working on oneself with no guarantee of the desired result. No use watching videos with which a female identifies herself. Male emotions seem to work differently.

The poster is who he is. Why should he do any work on himself? The very person whom he believes is the one to help him is giving him gip. I'd say that this twin is the one who needs the work. She needs to find ways of stop playing games. Stop being so defensive and/or aloof. Or if she's really shy, train up to be more assertive. As things stand she's no help to him or herself. She's blocked him out of helping her. I mean, how much of a lifetime are people willing to waste on this shenanigans?

However, these are my views alone. If they offend I apologise for the offence; kind of how I'd react if a guy strung me along. Send me songs would you? I'd send him back a dirty great Mahler Symphony with the message "beat that!" Perhaps Delay Reaction should do something like that to see how she responds.

♥

[Ldlf16]

It's the answer for everything. It makes no sense to me. No one will ever reach a stage where no personal improvement is necessary. It's like "love yourself." Just sounds meaningless after a while.

Regarding op: Game playing is the worst. Are they afraid? Are they deceitful? If you ask you get another round of it, which I suppose is an answer? No advice other than don't really engage I guess?