I’m in love with someone I don’t want to be in love with

Kupava · #1 21-06-2023, 05:14 AM

There are many reasons for this and he is an ******* I don’t want to have feelings for him. He is definitely in love with me too or at least very fixated. But like I said I am with somebody else who is ideal in every way and he is meant for someone else. How do you just get out of this cycle of love? For someone who is not appropriate or good for you? It’s been three years of this?

Guillaume · #2 21-06-2023, 07:11 AM

5-HTP has been helpful for me in the past.
https://www.scientificwellness.com/b...with-5-htp-227

Then if you learn to meditate, you will not be affected by these romantic feelings anymore (or much less), meditation brings you that "love" feeling, or the peace of mind that you seem to get with that person.

I try to remember when this happened to me, it's funny because I feel my situation was similar to yours, feeling of being observed, having many soulmates. You're probably too passionate!

Passion is good but some people play with it, or they get jealous about your situation, idk, they need stories to entertain themselves, tv is not enough and video games are too demanding? Who knows in what sh** they are ... ?
Anyways.

HopelessHermit · #3 21-06-2023, 10:20 AM

I don’t really understand how you could love someone you think is an *******. Maybe just tell him to leave you alone….

Altair · #4 21-06-2023, 10:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HopelessHermit

I don’t really understand how you could love someone you think is an *******.

Because you can't decide whom you develop feelings for. It is not a rational exercise.

Redchic12 · #5 21-06-2023, 11:04 AM

Maybe it’s a case of “lust” for this other person and not love. A lot of people make that mistake IMO.

Maybe do something to recharge your romantic/sex life with the person that you do actually love. Perhaps things have gotten a but stale.

If not, do everything you can to get this person out of your life even telling him to stay away from you.

Just my my opinion of course.

HopelessHermit · #6 21-06-2023, 11:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Altair

Because you can't decide whom you develop feelings for. It is not a rational exercise.

Yeah I can relate a little from my youth. I guess it has been a long time.

HopelessHermit · #7 21-06-2023, 11:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Redchic12

Maybe it’s a case of “lust” for this other person and not love. A lot of people make that mistake IMO.
Maybe do something to recharge your romantic/sex life with the person that you do actually love. Perhaps things have gotten a but stale.

Yes, it is best if someone has stalker like tendencies to let them know. Even then, they might not take the hint. A friend of mines daughter had a huge issue with a person like this. It still hasn’t completely settled. More than anything don’t give any false hope or lead the person on…

JustBe · #8 22-06-2023, 08:14 AM

Lessons about love without need to do or be anything is part of understanding, you can just love for no reason, other than that’s just what you feel. It doesn’t have to have anything attached to it at all.

If it’s an unhealthy attachment it might mean you just need to learn how to let go until it’s no longer an issue in you.

You can’t control his feelings, but you can learn through your own what it means for you.

RedEmbers · #9 23-06-2023, 11:36 AM

Hi,

If it is an unhealthy attachment and one which has addictive qualities (as in you spend alot of time thinking about them and avoiding yourself) then any form of meditation or brain entrainment activity can help as well as deflecting/diverting focus of the thoughts about this person back towards self care and hobbies/ projects.

If it is a more simple, love attraction then I think that what JustBe mentioned is great, knowing that it is OK to love someone without needing to do anything about it.

Best regards.

Peaseblossom · #10 23-06-2023, 06:24 PM

Here are a few things you can try.

1) Freeze the person out of your life. Put name on piece of paper, put in water, and freeze it. For the intention, say doing this with the highest love.
2) In meditation or lucid dreaming state, see person's face before you smiling, and wave goodbye.
3) In similar or same state, picture all the cords of attachment and cut them.

Hope this helps. Whatever feels non-threating to you. It can't harm if you do with love.