Dancing around

batsy · #1 14-04-2023, 04:48 AM

I like a guy. I dunno if he likes me. We talk a lot but not consistently (not every day, not all the time). He lives far away from me. Sometimes things get flirty, but I pull back because he lives far away, and I don't think I'm his type. He is not afraid to show what he likes in a woman and so far none of what he likes reflects me. I'm not about to change someone, and I am not going to go past friendly banter. But he isn't going away. And I've known him for over a decade but all of a sudden it's more talking. What is going on?

Redchic12 · #2 14-04-2023, 05:46 AM

If you have known him for over a decade and he has never made a move on you then that tells me he isn’t interested in having a special relationship with you.

I feel he is playing with your emotions and enjoying himself. But at the same time YOU are contributing to this game as well by LETTING HIM DO IT.

So the only way to prevent this carrying on is to just tell him you are not comfortable with the way he is acting towards you and to please stop. But you have to stop as well. Step back a bit and lessen the flirtation/banter.

People need to KNOW where your boundaries are and he has obviously crossed it but perhaps he doesn’t realise it so you need to tell him.

TIP: My son tells me that men don’t recognise hints very well and most of them just like to have things said straight to them.

So go for it Batsy!

batsy · #3 14-04-2023, 06:05 PM

I feel like I should clarify that we've known each other for a long time but everything happening is recent.

But yeah...boundaries.

*sad*

Redchic12 · #4 15-04-2023, 05:03 AM

I wonder if you could say something like, hey I’ve known you for a long time but I’ve noticed some changes in you lately. Do you want to talk about it?

Maybe that would get the ball rolling hey.

AngelBlue · #5 17-04-2023, 09:38 AM

Yeah I agree with Red ..
Say something in "fun" like "you know , we'd have made a good team if we had ever been a couple ".....
Make out it's just a passing comment and see how he responds ...

DesertRose · #6 17-04-2023, 11:48 AM

Sometimes it's about timing, but more than a decade is a long time. Maybe he just wants to talk to someone,
and because there's distance, it feels safe..
I think that after a decade, you are allowed to ask him direct questions. Get some clarity.. Good luck to you..