Grieving

[Starman]

So much loss in the news over the past couple of years, many due to covid, but also natural disasters, and people dying in other ways. Lots of grieving, sadness, and depression. People grieve in various ways dependant on how their loss occurred.

For instance if it is by natural disaster the grieving is different than if it was by suicide, murder even more differently than if the loved one died from natural causes. Most people get to say goodbye if it is a lingering terminal illness than if it is by sudden death without warning.

The most impact death I ever experienced was as a combat medic during the Vietnam war when I found a dead baby, and carried it in my arms to a place where I buried it. There is something about a baby, or young child, dying that is so profound. I had seen maybe a hundred people die but that baby had more of an effect on me than all of the other deaths I had witnessed.

People grieve differently; some distract themselves from their loss, some get stuck in their grieving, while others move through stages of grief. Without right or wrong, grieving is unique to each person. Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, who developed the popular stages of grieving, which are still in use today, said that generally how a person handles loss in their life is an indication of how they will handle their own death.

All through our lives we are given examples to prepare for our own death, which is but a transition, a metamorphosis. When our goldfish, dog, or other pet dies, grandparents or other loved ones die, or even the changing of the seasons, can confront our own mortality. I worked in the medical field 21-years, mainly in trauma care, and saw a lot of death. I took it as a learning experience and it helped me embrace my own earthly mortality. Grieving is healthy, although draining, and also at some point, when we are ready, it is healthy to let go of grieving.

All is well, even in our darkest hour, all is well.

[Anala]

Thank you for this timeLy thread.

[Native spirit]

Your words are very true. but you know that sometimes a shoulder to Cry on and support can Aid in the Healing process


Namaste

[RedEmbers]

I understand what you are sharing.

I realised last night during reflection that I do not allow myself to grieve because that would mean that I would have let myself become attached to something.

Then I kind of realised that I need to allow the grieving process so that I can allow myself to become attached to things.

[Starman]

Originally Posted by Native spirit

Your words are very true. but you know that sometimes a shoulder to Cry on and support can Aid in the Healing process


Namaste

Yes, I agree. I feel like we should try to get, and give, as many hugs as possible
each day, and allow ourselves to receive support from those we trust.

"If I lift you up I also lift myself up, and if I put you down I do the same to me."

Namaste

[Native spirit]

That is So TRUE



Namaste

What a beautiful thread.....

God bless......Peace and love to you all

[Starman]

Originally Posted by ayar415

QUOTE Post 1 EXCERPT:


Is grief caused by us, in the wars we have been waging continuously in foreign lands since Vietnam, unstoppable? Must we keep on killing babies to feed our need to grieve?

Thank you for your inquiry: Violence in all its forms feeds war between nations. In our homes, domestic violence, rape, murder, gang violence in our streets, child abuse, etc., are all the pups of war. We will not stop war between nations until we stop the wars that we are having with ourselves.

The thing is we do not grieve the war, the violence, or abuse that we intimately perpetrate on ourselves. We very personally do things to ourselves that if someone else were to do to us we would want to call the police and have them arrested. This is where the violence begins, in our thoughts.

Babies are kidnapped, and often killed, in many countries around the world. There is not a day in the history of this world where a war, or great violence, is going on somewhere, and often children are victimized. I was a combat medic in Vietnam and rendered aid to all who needed it. I saw the suffering first hand.

Later became an ambulance paramedic after the military and saw the violence first hand here in the U.S. Grief is about releasing pain and longing for wholeness. It does not only happen in war. There are many people around the world that have never been in a military war who are suffering from ptsd. Human beings grieve many things, the lost of a job, the breakup of a relationship, the loss of their youth, etc., etc., etc.

Every experience I have had in my life instructed me on a deeper level, if I allowed it to. Death, even that of a child, humbles me and confronts my own mortality. In my experience the death of a child, regardless how that child died, does leave a considerable impact, often greater than that of an adult.

Hold on tightly, let go lightly.

[ayar415]

QUOTE Post 8 EXCERPT:

Originally Posted by Starman

Thank you for your inquiry: Violence in all its forms feeds war between nations. In our homes, domestic violence, rape, murder, gang violence in our streets, child abuse, etc., are all the pups of war. We will not stop war between nations until we stop the wars that we are having with ourselves.

What you say is appealing on a philosophical level. J. Krishnamurti did say that the violence out there is the violence within for we are the world and the world is us. He talked about that ad nauseam to an ever-growing audience for 60 years till he died. To me, he was like a frog by the pond croaking in the quiet of a moonlit night. One by one, more frogs joined in to create a mighty din chanting philosophically for the end of violence.

Is there no way to end foreign wars at a practical level? We did protest successfully to end the Vietnam war. I did stop wars within myself when I stopped living like other people. I have no job and no family. It eliminated all possibilities of relationship conflicts. The lack of attachment allows me the freedom to harmonize with anyone who resonates with me.

If I can end conflicts at a personal level, nations can do it also. What do you say?

[iamthat]

Originally Posted by ayar415

I did stop wars within myself when I stopped living like other people. I have no job and no family. It eliminated all possibilities of relationship conflicts. The lack of attachment allows me the freedom to harmonize with anyone who resonates with me.

If I can end conflicts at a personal level, nations can do it also. What do you say?

This does raise an obvious question. You have eliminated relationship conflicts by choosing a lifestyle which avoids close relationships. Yet it is these close relationships which test our detachment and our ability to rise above conflict.

You say "The lack of attachment allows me the freedom to harmonize with anyone who resonates with me." It is easy to harmonise with people who resonate with us. The real test is our ability to get along with those who do not resonate with us.

I am not sure if your approach would work regarding conflicts between nations. You are saying that nations should only deal with those other nations who share their values, but the world does not function like that.

Peace