My magnet

[AStites]

I've had this theory for a while about my relationship with a man I've known for 22 years, been sleeping with for almost 18, and technically broke up with 5 years ago.

I recently started sleeping with him again over the last 2 months. This was after swearing off ever being with him again.

Without getting into long detail, I could best describe us as magnets after I cut it off years ago. I looked it up and realized just how well the description captured us. Basically when 2 opposites are near each other they attract. I could always feel him in my vicinity, could sense him before he was in the room. Even if we/I needed to stay away from one another it always felt impossible the closer physically we were. Now to break a magnetic bond you can do many things, but the further they are from one another, the less attracted they become. We never overheated to the point of breaking us completely, we never collided enough, like poles to be attracted to didn't do it, so when we were done and he moved away I thought that would finally do it. Distance, distance would.

Well it didn't. Doesn't matter how my resolve is or how angry I am, the minute I see him it all falls away.

Now after years of false promise of breaking that bond, I fear I have reestablished it or it just never went away.

Can anyone relate to these magnet relationships? Could you share your story? Almost half my life I've known this man and I don't know that I'm better for it. I'm still very much alone, so what drives that bond?

[Redchic12]

Ok you asked. So here’s my two bobs worth.

firstly, if two people are happy with an on and off relationship than I don’t see any problem with it. Obviously he is and you aren’t.

In my opinion he has got NO respect for you whatsoever and maybe because you have no respect for yourself either, because you have let him pick you up and drop you down whenever he feels like it.

You can’t blame the guy, cos that’s obviously his basic nature. He’s just doing what most guys do, IF YOU LET THEM. His attitude is probably a bit like….”why buy the cow when you can have the milk for free”.

Do you really want to be with a guy that thinks like that.

You need to ask yourself, “why am I letting him do this” and why do you think so little of yourself, that you allow it?

You’ve let this man use you for 22 years, why? Forget all this “magnet” stuff because many of us go thru being attracted to others but most do not act on it, Cos it’s just part of life.

You’re giving ya power away gal and I think it’s time you took it back and start to learn to say NO. You will feel so powerful when you do!!!

I think you’re worth a lot more than this and you deserve a lot better.

Just my thoughts tho.

[AngelBlue]

I knew a man once that I "thought " I was desperately in love with.
We had a relationship that spanned only 2 years on and off.
It was always "off" because he couldn't commit but he always came back to me a few weeks later and I always welcomed him back with open arms.
But in the end after he wanted to come back to me yet again I had to be the strongest I had ever been and I told him "No" .
The shock in his voice and disbelief was more than evident but I meant it.
I never saw or spoke to him again.
It broke my heart actually, and I cried many times but I knew I deserved better.
He wouldn't even say I was his girlfriend so therefore was free to date other women.
I guess I got fed up of being 'used'.
I moved on after just 2 years, so I hope and pray that you haven't put half of your life on hold for this man that is never going to make you happy.
Sorry if that sounds harsh, but I am guessing that like me, you deserve so much better.

[Native spirit]

I f you have known him that long and nothing has changed it isn't going to he is playing with you feelings and Emotions,

you need to cut ties with him and move on


Namaste

[AStites]

I have to add this because I'm not looking for love advice. I'm very aware of the faults in this relationship which is why I'm not with him.

My ask here is does anyone have these people that you are just constantly drawn to? I'm curious on theories of past lives, astrology, anything like that with others. Beyond an obvious attraction we have an intuitive connection. I sense when he's going to call, when I'll see him etc, it's weird. After years that hasn't changed.

Again, not looking for relationship advice, known him a long time and not my ask. I'm just very curious about anyone else's insight to having similar magnet type relationships. Attracting to people on a different level than most people you encounter.

My personal theory is we have unresolved past life stuff and I've heard you can compare astrology charts, but I have no idea how to do that so....and could just be ** anyway.