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20-07-2016, 05:15 PM
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Pathfinder
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Chicago
Posts: 96
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Only interested in the afterlife
My life has been a serious of challenges who's hasn't? But because of living at home with a narcissist parent until the age of 40 (still living in the childhood home after parents passed). Having a psychotic break at 17, my mother living at home schitzo affective and in a psychosis for six years, and now my diabetes is in bad shape. Because of my bipolar, I haven't worked or dated in 20 years. If I try I stop eating, sleeping, and can't stop thinking and end up in the hospital. Living a small simple life is what kept me hospital free for 13 years. Okay that is my history. Now my question. I am disillusioned by life, not just because I can't participate in a regular life, but just how things are out in the world and with a lot of people, I am only interested in the afterlife. I am only comforted by ideas, fiction and non fiction, of what's after dying. Angels fascinate me. I've tried, really tried to accept and live life as I'm able to. I am very grateful for what I do have. But its empty. I am hollow. I can't afford another dog. I don't feel joy or love. I am in treatment, on stabilizing medication, but I've been waiting to die for 20 years. Has anyone else felt this way. That the only hope of living is after death?
__________________
Wishing you well
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20-07-2016, 05:40 PM
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Master
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 20,100
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I've always belonged to spiritual type forums and I stumbled upon Buddhism and found that it was a very good thing to study: My favorite book is a biography - Old Path White Clouds - written by Master Thich Nhat Hahn - (I hope I got his name spelt correctly). I've ready quite a few books about Buddhism and um, I don't get into the repetitive stuff too much. You don't have to pore over every book and video to 'be' Buddhist. It's a philosophy and not a religion, per se. I think you'll enjoy reading the book. I found it at my local library, but liked it so much, I bought a copy from amazon.com. I needed the help dealing with my only son's death Feb. 14, 2010. He was 23.
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20-07-2016, 05:57 PM
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Administrator
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 11,195
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Many people at some point in their lives suffer from the same thing its an escape from how you are living,have you thought of doing voluntary work either with animals or something else.your past has a lot to do with how you are feeling.you were bought up in unstable backgrounds.but there is always hope look to the future live while you have the chance,getting your medication is paramount as is having counselling this could really help you.you have been through much I'm sure you could be a good support for others going through it
Namaste
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22-07-2016, 12:34 AM
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Super Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 6,513
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Dear muted blue, you mentioned you can't afford another dog. You had a dog and she/he passed?
I respect your sense of responsibility because yes -a dog needs some level of financial security, or at least firm arrangements -whether that is with a vet who will offer a payment plan, or an insurance or charity arrangement (vets bills etc which surely will come up some time or other even with a healthy dog.)
But if you love dogs....and you sound as if you do.... somewhere not far away from you maybe a bus ride away or a drive away....there will be an animal rescue. An Animal rescue is always grateful for any volunteer who can just help out -even one hour a week! The dogs would appreciate your love and kindness, a game if there is an exercise space....a walk? It would mean so much to them. They are locked up most of the day, many are confused. Some are bereaved or abandoned, or have suffered abuse. Some are long term residents.
When the natural time does eventually come for you to pass over, you may then also choose to work spiritually with animals/dogs? It does depend where your Heart is at, but that opportunity exists.
Any love or heart-felt giving you have done while on this Earth will serve you well in any afterlife occupation.
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22-07-2016, 05:33 AM
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Master
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,468
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MutedBlue
My life has been a serious of challenges who's hasn't? But because of living at home with a narcissist parent until the age of 40 (still living in the childhood home after parents passed). Having a psychotic break at 17, my mother living at home schitzo affective and in a psychosis for six years, and now my diabetes is in bad shape. Because of my bipolar, I haven't worked or dated in 20 years. If I try I stop eating, sleeping, and can't stop thinking and end up in the hospital. Living a small simple life is what kept me hospital free for 13 years. Okay that is my history. Now my question. I am disillusioned by life, not just because I can't participate in a regular life, but just how things are out in the world and with a lot of people, I am only interested in the afterlife. I am only comforted by ideas, fiction and non fiction, of what's after dying. Angels fascinate me. I've tried, really tried to accept and live life as I'm able to. I am very grateful for what I do have. But its empty. I am hollow. I can't afford another dog. I don't feel joy or love. I am in treatment, on stabilizing medication, but I've been waiting to die for 20 years. Has anyone else felt this way. That the only hope of living is after death?
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This reminds me of a saying done by Kapila Muni, an ancient Indian Sage:
A human incarnation is rare and full of meaning.
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22-07-2016, 11:26 AM
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Ascender
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 762
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I respect the OPs point of view
This world holds little interest for me since my mum passed last year
Im sceptical but curious as to what is on the other side but Im honest enough to accept there may actually be nothing.
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24-07-2016, 12:25 AM
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I am diagnosed schizophrenic and it certainly has devastated my life. Sure I am more stable now, but life is quite painful for me. I do look forward to the afterlife.
My mother has also passed, and sometimes I envy her, because she has escaped, and its all over for her now.
I get a lot of comfort from researching the afterlife. It does make the universe feel more compassionate.
I am more cynical about people. People don't care much for the mentally ill and it is hard to remain upbeat. It is actually classed as a disability, but it is a poor cousin because of stigma and ignorance.
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24-07-2016, 12:55 AM
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Administrator
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 11,195
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I dont think its true that people dont care about the mentally ill.i took mental health along with my counseling, and i have seen both sides of it the ones that do improve quickly others take longer, but with the right support and medication you can live a fulfilling life ,
Namaste
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24-07-2016, 01:11 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Native spirit
I dont think its true that people dont care about the mentally ill.i took mental health along with my counseling, and i have seen both sides of it the ones that do improve quickly others take longer, but with the right support and medication you can live a fulfilling life ,
Namaste
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In this country we have an active movement, called 'Time for Change' Its sole purpose is to end stigma and discrimination. Its not my imagination - people are fighting for it.
I have been refused jobs, once I have admitted my illness.
Actually living with a severe mental health condition is eye-opening, and disturbing. It is not a fairy tale.
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24-07-2016, 03:31 PM
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Administrator
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 11,195
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Nobody said it was a fairy tale.them are your words not mine I know how difficult it can be to find work once you disclose your illness,but the only thing that doesn't go down on anyones medical file as a mental illness is just after giving birth,because its hormonal depression goes down as a mental illness as well.there is a stigma against people with mental illness as well as disability.they don't look beyond what they see,so all get tared with the same brush
Namaste
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