Potential dangers of realizing You are GOD

[bluebird21]

Hi All, I recently shared in a post that I had a powerful shaktipat experience.

In this awakening, I realized myself as all the mysteries of the entire Universe. I realized that I - this imperfect human being that I am - is Mother Godess, Father God, and that which birthed them both, the Tao. I realized that all beings are me and this is all my dream. It was a major expansion of my consciousness.

Then when my ego came back it high jacked the whole genuine experience and made up a bunch of storylines. I actually became delusional, like believing I was the reincarnation of a well known Buddhist teacher... I was OUT of touch with reality, which I believe is the opposite of enlightenment (my definition of which is becoming sane.)

I've never experienced delusions or psychosis, and have had powerful spiritual experiences which have always been clean and left me with a greater sense of clarity. This experience has left me shaken and in some self doubt.

I'm wondering if any of you have had what you felt was a genuine powerful spiritual experience which triggered psychosis/delusions? I also know kundalini risings/shaktipat can trigger spiritual emergencies and psychosis if the person does not have correct guidance and is not prepared... and I think this is what happened to me.

Please be sensitive as it's vulnerable for me to share this. Thanks!

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by bluebird21

Hi All, I recently shared in a post that I had a powerful shaktipat experience.

In this awakening, I realized myself as all the mysteries of the entire Universe. I realized that I - this imperfect human being that I am - is Mother Godess, Father God, and that which birthed them both, the Tao. I realized that all beings are me and this is all my dream. It was a major expansion of my consciousness.

Then when my ego came back it high jacked the whole genuine experience and made up a bunch of storylines. I actually became delusional, like believing I was the reincarnation of a well known Buddhist teacher... I was OUT of touch with reality, which I believe is the opposite of enlightenment (my definition of which is becoming sane.)

I've never experienced delusions or psychosis, and have had powerful spiritual experiences which have always been clean and left me with a greater sense of clarity. This experience has left me shaken and in some self doubt.

I'm wondering if any of you have had what you felt was a genuine powerful spiritual experience which triggered psychosis/delusions? I also know kundalini risings/shaktipat can trigger spiritual emergencies and psychosis if the person does not have correct guidance and is not prepared... and I think this is what happened to me.

Please be sensitive as it's vulnerable for me to share this. Thanks!

This is the thing that terrifies me the most!

The thing that stops me from making any further progression on the spiritual path and has me stuck, right here.

How can I realize I am that which I deeply love? honestly?

Of course I love myself as myself and not my ego...of course I love God with all my heart and soul, but I don't want to realise that I am God, even though many will say 'that's who you are anyway' because that will only lead to another realisation that everything up to that point has been a huge lie, which I know it hasn't.

It's the biggest of paradoxes and conundrums and no matter how many times God has explained it to me, I still can't let it go and I cannot deal with it.

Hence I have realised the danger and I find myself stuck in this spiritual emergency myself.

I am trying to come to terms with a 'compromise' with the universe...I AM and God IS but I AM not God.

In reality, even though one has that all-encompassing and overwhelming experience of being one with the universe and everything, to think it is a realisation of Godliness or it makes one God, is still the ego talking imho.

This is a very good sign for me really, because all of my spiritual experiences are firmly grounded in duality and many may say 'they can't be spiritual experiences then' but what would they know? It's not as black and white as all that.

My biggest fear is that I am going to lose God or lose my love for God once I become/realise that I AM and it holds me back because my love for God means everything to me, it is my whole existence and I'm not ready to give that up.

Of course God re-assures me that it won't be the case, but I haven't got that trust there, even though my love for Him is unconditional.

So, to pass the time, I have been watching Alan Watts videos...which I probably shouldn't be doing in this fragile emotional state. lol

Yes, Kundalini risings can definitely trigger a spiritual emergency...especially when she keeps rising up the wrong nerve, straight into the crown chakra, stays there for a few seconds or a minute and then BAM! straight back down into the Root Chakra again until the next time...a few weeks/months down the track.

You are looking at such a person.

[naturesflow]

Originally Posted by bluebird21

Hi All, I recently shared in a post that I had a powerful shaktipat experience.

In this awakening, I realized myself as all the mysteries of the entire Universe. I realized that I - this imperfect human being that I am - is Mother Godess, Father God, and that which birthed them both, the Tao. I realized that all beings are me and this is all my dream. It was a major expansion of my consciousness.

Then when my ego came back it high jacked the whole genuine experience and made up a bunch of storylines. I actually became delusional, like believing I was the reincarnation of a well known Buddhist teacher... I was OUT of touch with reality, which I believe is the opposite of enlightenment (my definition of which is becoming sane.)

The story will often get in the way when we are not fully ready to enter into the depth of feeling our own empowerment in this way your describing. When we open to a story, that story can open up many feelings we might hold in and down, plus any ideas we create around what that means, as you show. Sometimes the story contains lots of symbolism that can actually open us to notice more than just the belief and story, but what that belief and story represents in the whole relationship to where and what we are entering into. When your out of touch with reality, as I learned through my own process similar to you, coming back into reality, I learned that what I was peaking at and reaching in myself, needed to be grounded into reality as a deeper connected lived experience. I wasn't a monk, nor were I wanting to be one, but the relationship was very much showing me that living as an awakened being aware of a greater vision of myself, was important to the life path I was embarking on from there.

I've never experienced delusions or psychosis, and have had powerful spiritual experiences which have always been clean and left me with a greater sense of clarity. This experience has left me shaken and in some self doubt.

When your shaken and feel as you do in your self doubt, it simply opens a window of exploration that one can explore deeper to ground into the fullness of you open and aware of your true self, which when you understand more directly without fear, simply means your ok aware of your potential beyond human limitations that we are conditioned by. Getting very clear in both feeling and direct awareness when you have let go fully, will lead you to the emptiness of yourself where nothing will impeded your mind and take over that emptiness. The clarity of being, will naturally move itself, without doubt or feelings of delusion. Everything still contained in some form will unfold as you create it to be. When your mind is clear and open not contained the story ends. You become your own witness/observer aware and moving through what your currently becoming. Being is letting all life in you and around you flow freely. The creation of you is the extension of you aware of you being.

I'm wondering if any of you have had what you felt was a genuine powerful spiritual experience which triggered psychosis/delusions? I also know kundalini risings/shaktipat can trigger spiritual emergencies and psychosis if the person does not have correct guidance and is not prepared... and I think this is what happened to me.

Please be sensitive as it's vulnerable for me to share this. Thanks!

Yes I have. Something I learned through my own process is that we have everything we need as support even as we might not see it or perceive it. The key is not too contain yourself too tight in the self doubt and shaken feelings, because fear as I have learned can prevent you opening to get that clarity your very attuned to receive thus far. Sometimes aspects of the spiritual awakening process will trigger our fears in ways we haven't noticed before. Sometimes we require an experience to open up those core aspects of self still holding down and in, in some form. Moving in and out in your own process will move you in ways to show you how you feel and what your holding in, so you will open up pockets in yourself to ground and clear more deeply. Often we don't dive into the core fully open until we are ready to hold our own presence grounded and strong to manage it in everyway of our being.


(your thread title speaks your fear)

[Shivani Devi]

Also, this must and needs to be said and I speak from experience...this may sound a bit rough and crude, please bear with.

When we have an experience, in which we see many beautiful and glorious things, leading us to an awareness in which we are 'at one' with the universe/creation we tend to think of it is the 'ultimate experience'.

However, when we come back to 'reality' and the ego takes over and tries to interpret that or put it's own spin on it and leads us into fear and doubt, there's one thing we can take from this...

Whatever we experienced simply was not the ultimate experience.

It's a similar thing to a substance-induced psychedelic experience. Any temporary 'altered state of consciousness' which leads into a spiral of fear or depression until the next 'altered state of consciousness' happens, is just a shadow or a reflection of the true experience we create in our mind only.

[Baile]

Are they dangers, are just life experiences? We live many lifetimes. We will experience it all... we will be a mother, a father, a lover, a killer, will be poor and rich, will live in illusion and will live in truth.

And we will realize we are God. And not God.

[lilith]

I just want to empathize with you and so you know you're definitely not alone. Such experiences happened to me when I didn't even know a thing about spirituality. It took me about half a year to go back to myself. I couldn't handle life any more, not that I was ever happy here, and I wanted to kill myself, but for different reasons than prior to the experiences. I wanted end so I could begin. Plus, I got so addicted to such heights and nothing in 3D was interesting to me. All in all, like it's been said, I believe such experiences only highlight what we already are. If we can't accept that, it leads to spiritual crisis or worse.

It's important people have knowledge about such things as it's easier to cope that way. It shouldn't scare anyone away from it though. It's just like a training of consciousness. Similar to physical exercise. You enjoy running, but afterwards your legs may hurt, so you take care of that in a proper way and you have nice legs afterwards

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by Baile

And we will realize we are God. And not God.

Simultaneously?

[Baile]

Originally Posted by The Necromancer

Simultaneously?

Yes. A drop of water is the ocean is a drop of water.

[Shivani Devi]

Originally Posted by Baile

Yes. A drop of water is the ocean is a drop of water.

How does the drop of water still be a drop of water when it is the ocean?

[barrynu]

Originally Posted by The Necromancer

How does the drop of water still be a drop of water when it is the ocean?

It can only be a drop when it leaves the ocean
but imagine this drop of water expands but not by merging with other drops
it get huge, millions of miles across.
is it still a drop or is it an ocean?