Depression and relationships

accidental dual post here!

Hey Lilyth. Felt I'd take the time to put some effort into providing a nice big view on relationships that originates in nature-paths. I hope it doesn't come across as patronzing or lecturey. I thought I'd aim to really shed light on relationships from at least my own perspective, along side what I've learnt while enjoying other paths such as taoism and buddhism. Taoism being the fundamental nature path in that duo.

Hopefully I'll help you gain insight into your relationship just now, and others you may have in the future. (though hopefully this one should work fine). It isn't a lecture, but I did want to put some effort into trying to help. Even if it doesn't, no problem. :) thanks for reading

What relationships are doing
If two people come together who're equal in maturity, spirituality, etc. Then the process is healthy.

However, as humans are constantly changing - two individuals need to work together to stay together. Everything in relationships goes through Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter.

Spring: Is a period of infatuation with each other, possibly not knowing you like each other. It's the entire process of getting with each other, and all the intense things that brings. The beginnings of love, the sense that you just cannot see anything wrong with that person.

Summer: you're together, it's been a while and everything is intense and blissful. You feel like you're the only two people in the world who feel the way you do, and there's an intense uniqueness to the signature of your combined personalities. This is fusion as your energy bodies become easy to just meld into each other when you're together. You show each other new things, you 'open up' and give yourself to each other in selfless ways.

Autumn: as both of you are always changing and developing, and if you are equal enough - these changes bring development. But also doubt. You begin to feel a little less magical and more practical, arguments start to happen more frequently, but ultimately you both know you still love each other.

Winter: Characterised by depression, one partner may suffer or the other but this is a process of death-reincarnation (within a single life time) and those who progress spiritually will go through periods of personal winter. both of you are still changing, but as this period comes the doubts have fertilized in the mind and they begin to sprout and take over and the relationship death begins to occur. Both people in an equal relationship may feel asif the other is really struggling, and a mutual coming together will happen eventually - possible tears and conversations happen. This tends to happen after a period of just not getting on, of having serious tension or sometimes just a feeling that love is lacking. The mutual coming together of the equal couples will support each other, and they will reach a higher level of summer and continue the cycle.

If the two people are inequal, then the lowest member of the relationship becomes the central part. The higher member finds themselves picking up slack, feeling impatient and feeling practical issues with the partner. And during the autumn and winter periods, they will break up and not come back. Usually in these, you have the lower member who feels almost emotionally dependant on the higher one (without necessarily recognizing them as higher in any way). The higher one feels asif they are helping the lower one, and that the lower one has so much potential...

However, this isn't true. Because while an inequal relationship is together, change is always running at the same speed but total progression is at a near stand still in terms of spirituality, maturity, etc. And during the death period our lives, the relationship simply cannot survive. as the one who is higher will feel that calling to break through to a higher level himself, while the lower level is stunting them both.

The higher lower thing.
This isn't about money, jobs, careers, life styles or anything else. It is about a level of awareness, and a level of spiritual maturity. The measurement is simple enough.

emotional stickiness: "I need you, I love you so much I can't imagine life without you!" (immature) -> - emotional freedom "If I no longer make you happy, then I will leave." (mature)
spiritual stickiness: refusing the other persons beliefs, getting angry, religious minded people, etc.(immature) - > - spiritual freedom "Tell me more!" (mature)
Physical maturity... well, that's obvious really for anyone. lol. Inclusive though of body language, ego control, awareness in the moment. Other sensory things also!

my personal opinion is that the extremes of physical maturity are.
clingy self centered physical want, becoming jealous of your partner flirting, lack of physical empathy during sex, awkwardness (immaturity)

Confidence, humour, easy goingness, incredible sexual empathy (feeling the others wants and needs), and physical trust.

So those levels will make or break the relationship as each individual goes through the seasons of love together.

It might be good to get your partner to rate you out of 10, on how he sees you in these lights. and you him. See if you match up. This isn't fool proof, and can easily be ruined if you do it during times of particular happiness (after smexy time) or just after arguments. Best to do when you're content with each other, and not particularly one way or the other. If you find no opportunity to do it, then there is a problem I think and you need to say "why aren't we ever just content being with each other?".

[Lilyth Von Gore]

I never said I wasn't content. I said I was feeling doubtful. The more I reflect, the more I realise that it is the depression that's causing this. It happened last year, it's happening this year. With any luck, I'll no longer feel this way next year.

Check your Vit D level.
During the winter time, many people have to take Vit D supplement to keep their Vit D level up.
We normally get it from Sun and foods that are fortified with Vit D.
However, winter times, people reach low level with Vit D.

Based on your picture you look like the sort that has genetic markers that predispose you to depression. You are very young though and it will likely improve in time as you develop better coping skills

I think that you are depending much of your happiness to another person- your bf that you forget to think or love yourself. You will need to change that or you will lose who you really are. Start feeling happy for yourself and do things that will make you happy and grow at the same time. Do not push yourself too much. Life is short and you have to enjoy every moment of it.

[Lilyth Von Gore]

Being happy is difficult when I have a serotonin shortage in my brain.

Hey there my dear.
My goodness.. I relate so much to you I don't even know where to start. I have been trying to find solutions to help lift my mood, being as my depression makes it very difficult for me to do so many things.

Have you seeked out any kind of professional help to help you get through your trauma? I still need to look into some kind of help for myself, but I've been finding it so hard. Do you feel apprehensive about medication too? Much of the time, I don't even know what to find to "make" myself happy.

My thoughts are with you. <3

[Lilyth Von Gore]

I did try medication. After 6 months it stopped working. I hated how it made me feel. I felt numb, but not happy. And I am receiving therapy.

Originally Posted by Lilyth Von Gore

Being happy is difficult when I have a serotonin shortage in my brain.

Here is a link on natural ways to get serotinin; it promotes diet, exercise & sunlight ...
http://www.livestrong.com/article/13...get-serotonin/
Many others can be found on the web by entering "serotonin" in search ...

Depression is a common problem that occurs after a traumatic event ...
Your therapist should be explaining every change you are experiencing since the event ...
If not, write all your questions down & pose them at your appointments ...
S/he should be able to offer advice on coping w/sadness, aggression, hopeless, feelings of not being heard or understood; any areas you are having difficulty with ...
In my experience w/PTSD, acupuncture has been helpful in balancing my chi as well as providing enormous relief from its sumptoms ...
Meds can also be helpful w/a chemical imbalance; you will need to talk to your doctor -- sometimes, its necessary to test more than one or two different anti-depressants to find the one that works best ...
EMDR (eye movement desensitization reprosessing) from a certified & well seasoned therapist has been quite beneficial ...
For myself it was better to have a 2 in 1 doctor for therapy as well as to prescribe/monitor meds if needed ...
A 2 in 1 doctor is primarily a psychiatrist, in some places psychoanalysts are licensed to prescribe medication ...
Hope this helps ...